Matthew 🍔
@matthewburger.bsky.social
Studies the atmospheres of objects without atmospheres.
I’m an old and I have no idea what this is. Also, there’s probably an appropriate emoji for this, but I don’t know what it is.
November 26, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I’m an old and I have no idea what this is. Also, there’s probably an appropriate emoji for this, but I don’t know what it is.
They think God will reward them for drawing for an inside straight.
November 26, 2025 at 12:53 AM
They think God will reward them for drawing for an inside straight.
Obama is a good poker player from what I’ve read.
November 26, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Obama is a good poker player from what I’ve read.
Aren’t healthier snacks one of those job killing regulations I’ve heard so much about? Or can they just raise the price of a ticket by $100 to cover it?
November 26, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Aren’t healthier snacks one of those job killing regulations I’ve heard so much about? Or can they just raise the price of a ticket by $100 to cover it?
If they’re ethically sourced.
November 25, 2025 at 11:42 PM
If they’re ethically sourced.
I was wondering if I was crazy for thinking that.
November 25, 2025 at 11:23 PM
I was wondering if I was crazy for thinking that.
I’m just going to hazard a guess that you know the world’s experts on “Is this a meteorite?”
November 25, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I’m just going to hazard a guess that you know the world’s experts on “Is this a meteorite?”
And in The Last Jedi, of course.
November 25, 2025 at 10:23 PM
And in The Last Jedi, of course.
The way I see it, Daniel Craig and Frank Oz are the only humans. So it’s more of a parody of a mystery since we know the killer isn’t a muppet.
November 25, 2025 at 10:13 PM
The way I see it, Daniel Craig and Frank Oz are the only humans. So it’s more of a parody of a mystery since we know the killer isn’t a muppet.
The Muppets: A Knives Out Movie with Daniel Craig.
November 25, 2025 at 8:47 PM
The Muppets: A Knives Out Movie with Daniel Craig.
Honestly, I’m tired of being a middle-aged white man. Are there other options available?
November 25, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Honestly, I’m tired of being a middle-aged white man. Are there other options available?
I really don't think any of my problems would be solved by having more kids.
November 24, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I really don't think any of my problems would be solved by having more kids.
I think I have that book. My wife read it. I haven't, but I'll add it to the list.
November 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I think I have that book. My wife read it. I haven't, but I'll add it to the list.
Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and The Food Lab.
November 24, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and The Food Lab.
Turkey is great if you know how to cook it.
November 24, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Turkey is great if you know how to cook it.
I still have some books from the Clinton administration on my “to read” shelf.
November 23, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I still have some books from the Clinton administration on my “to read” shelf.
I’m trying to work a “You’re so Vain” joke in, but I got nothing.
November 23, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I’m trying to work a “You’re so Vain” joke in, but I got nothing.
What is powdered gravy? Is it just flour and some salt?
November 22, 2025 at 10:04 PM
What is powdered gravy? Is it just flour and some salt?
My wife watched a video about Hitler’s relatives the other day. They changed their names and vowed not to have children (or something like that).
November 22, 2025 at 8:59 PM
My wife watched a video about Hitler’s relatives the other day. They changed their names and vowed not to have children (or something like that).
The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado, the hotel that inspired The Shining, has a channel that plays the movie 24/7.
November 22, 2025 at 6:46 PM
The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado, the hotel that inspired The Shining, has a channel that plays the movie 24/7.
XP this is going to be what gets Trump 25thed.
November 21, 2025 at 10:12 PM
XP this is going to be what gets Trump 25thed.
I blank out on names all the time. I've just been clever enough not to go on TV and do it.
November 21, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I blank out on names all the time. I've just been clever enough not to go on TV and do it.
The golden age of travel begins with some extra leg space.
November 21, 2025 at 3:21 PM
The golden age of travel begins with some extra leg space.