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Gabriel Morton

@gabrielenguard.bsky.social

930 followers 570 following 4.4K posts

A slapdash attempt at the slipshod. I am writing about every episode of The Simpsons. I have played every DOS game. Read here: https://keepetclassy.com/authors/gabriel Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@KeepetClassy/streams

keepetclassy.com

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Reposted by Gabriel Morton

KOTH Screens @kothscreens.bsky.social · 26m

Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 4, Episode 6

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karl rove knausgård @uhactually.bsky.social · 47m

Every time a Democrat gets caught on tape saying like “Some Trump voters are racist” we have a national scandal and JD Vance demands an entirely new kind of apology and meanwhile every Republican group chat is like “Good morning fellow SS members. Who’s ready to respect Hitler today?”

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Catch Wrestling U @catchwrestling.bsky.social · 25m

Frank Crozier c. 1911. The first Black World Champion in Wrestling / Catch Wrestling, winning the middleweight title at the Alhambra tournament, London in 1909. #BlackHistoryMonth

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internet possum ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ - 0.3 Megapixels @dog9mango.bsky.social · 30m

roughly the same build and relative intelligence level of the goombas from the 1993 Mario Bros movie

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Old White Nepo Hat @kenwhite.bsky.social · 1h

The thing is that the modern GOP (not to mention its basement-confined moron stepchild, the Mises Caucus libertarian “party”) is accurately depicted by this language and a critical mass of the party is absolutely fine with it.
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Garrett M. Graff @vermontgmg.bsky.social · 1h

It’s incredible that the VT State Senator wrapped up in this hasn’t resigned yet — every major GOP leader in the state has called for his resignation. Fixing democracy requires restoring shame to public life. And accountability. Lots of accountability. vtdigger.org/2025/10/14/v...

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ohfivepro.bsky.social @ohfivepro.bsky.social · 1h

If you been hacked and all your apes gone, do NOT worry, you can still buy Riot on Arcade Archives which features many apes (in waistcoats), giant fans & John Riot falling face 1st to his death, smashing into everything on the way down, only to be saved by an inch of water

Better than all NFTs💪🦍🐒

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 1h

That's some quality Yokozuna on Yokozuna action.

Justine @justelfr.bsky.social · 6h

"Daiki, say ahh!" Thank YOU, Yokozuna

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the abbot of unreason (an archaeologist) @merovingians.bsky.social · 11h

@grayathena.bsky.social said it better

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Ruth Husko @dankackroyd.bsky.social · 3h

Been doing this for years and not a single headline

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gmspectre.bsky.social @gmspectre.bsky.social · 1h

The strange thing is that Basic Fun was releasing mini $20 cabinets with NES roms. For the Rampage one, they actually modded the rom with just the lizard and the gorilla, and added the werewolf to the rom.

WCW Worldwide Fansite @wcwworldwide.com · 8h

Saving my money for the Basic Fun! Street Fighter II cabinet.

Image of Street Fighter II shooped to remove Dhaslim and Guile from the roster.

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 1h

They deserve the Spicy Peen.

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Sean Reynard / Quentin Smirhes @seanreynard.bsky.social · 2h

Follow Shorty

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Rhiannon Kagoe @rhiannonkagoe.bsky.social · 1d

someone should do something about this game

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Dave Vetter @davidrvetter.bsky.social · 18h

I will bet my bike that close to zero of the British racists that this law is pandering to could pass A-level English.

Migrants will be required to pass A Level standard of English

Migrants will be required to pass tough new English language requirements under a law introduced in Parliament today.

www.gov.uk

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outsidewolves @outsidewolves.bsky.social · 7h

A four panel comic strip. An anthropomorphic wolf man runs into an office where three others are working at their desks. He says, "The fire marshal is coming for annual inspections!" In the next panel, a seated wolf is playing with a remote control airplane, and a smoke detector with an open battery compartment is mounted on the wall above him. The first wolf says "Put that 9 volt back in the smoke detector!" In the third panel, an anthropomorphic dog holds a power strip while standing next to a sculpture comprised of multiple power strips. The first wolf says "Hide your..."Daisy Chain Power Strip" sculpture!?" In the fourth panel, a bear proudly displays his t-shirt which reads "I love storing combustibles around radiators." The first wolf, in exasperation, yells "CHANGE YOUR SHIRT!"

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Cold Blooded Oldhead @composeyrself.bsky.social · 7h

The Nazis and their ideologues like Julius Evola were pedophiles that were into the anime of their time, occult reimaginings of some glorious aryan past that never was

Mr. Chau @srirachachau.bsky.social · 9h

It’s funny how the old media depiction of Nazis was always that they’re evil but dignified gentleman and now they’re openly just like “Hello. I’m the Anime Pedophile”

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GreenGeist @heygreenguy.bsky.social · 6h

The actual correct move with the gear is actually to not equip it (because the character takes it with her if you do), and sell it at the next shop so you avoid doing a couple of sidequests when some shitfuck breaks your $10,000 boots.

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GreenGeist @heygreenguy.bsky.social · 6h

"Oh but if I didn't equip the gear that fixes healing to the first healer I could use it on the new character. I'm very clever!"

Ha ha, nope. The gear is explicitly for one character and one character only. You get to enjoy it for like, three battles.

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GreenGeist @heygreenguy.bsky.social · 6h

I still think my favorite part is that, about halfway through the game, they give your healer gear that makes healing usable.

And then she gets whisked away forever a few rooms later and replaced with a level 1 character with the bad heal again.

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Celia 🔜 Climax of Night @celialicious.bsky.social · 5h

This isn't mentioning that YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHICH ENEMY YOU ATTACK IN BATTLE, IT'S RANDOM!

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 5h

Look, it's okay to look like a 30-year-old lesbian when you're a 20-year-old man, but not when you're rampantly homophobic.

Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 5h

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maud @peloriemate.net · 10h

btw when i say the devs were smoking that good and this game deserves to share the spotlight with the all time kusoge greats i mean it. this doesnt even mention that the final boss is a cutscene and you blow into the mic to run from battles

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 5h

Australia to ship convicts to penal colony Eng-Land.

ABC News Bot (unofficial) @abcnewsbot.bsky.social · 6h

British social media star 'Big John' says he is being deported from Australia after apparently failing to comply with visa requirements.

UK social media star 'Big John' being deported from Australia

British social media star 'Big John' says he is being deported from Australia after apparently failing to comply with visa requirements.

www.abc.net.au

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