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C.A. Pinkham

@eyepatchguy.bsky.social

11K followers 810 following 45K posts

I write stuff and talk about restaurant stories a lot. Also the Mongolian Empire. He/him Bylines @ Jezebel, @ Jewish Currents, @ Thrillist, @ Daily Meal, @ FanBuzz, @ FanByte [email protected]

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 1m

I would and will prefer all of those things

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 1m

I know this also because I’ve been around 0-2 and 2-4 and I very strongly prefer the latter even in the tougher moments

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 1m

Fucking thank you

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 2m

They’re allowed to complain I’m simply saying I personally will prefer the problems inherent in 2-4 rather than 1-2

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 22m

THIS ONE ISNT FAST ENOUGH I WANT TO SKIP AHEAD

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 23m

I CAN LOCK THE DOOR

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 34m

Everyone replying with something along the lines of how much worse it will be when X: I hope you get hit by a train

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 44m

I love my daughter but everyone claiming this three month age is the best and “well she’ll never be like this again” FUCKING GOOD

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 35m

That would be preferable to this

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 36m

I rolled sixes on “good nighttime sleeper” and snake eyes on fucking everything else

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 40m

“Well when they’re older you have to listen to kids’ shows over and over and they talk a lot” I own a steam deck and I am extremely good at parallel processing, I could not be less concerned about that age. This one is awful

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 41m

She won’t eat without acting like a weird goblin and waving her head around trying to look at everything at once, she won’t sleep during the daytime, she won’t let me put her down

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 43m

I will not in fact cherish this time because this time is a fucking nightmare

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 44m

I love my daughter but everyone claiming this three month age is the best and “well she’ll never be like this again” FUCKING GOOD

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 7h

Everything about this image is more wrong than the thing I’ve seen before it

Luke Plunkett @lukeplunkett.com · 10h

kids teacher just sent this home as part of an assignment he's doing and i want to smash every computer at the school

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Reposted by C.A. Pinkham

BYCTOM @byctom.bsky.social · 1d

this is the most like a mike tyson's punch out guy i have ever seen anyone look

Brewers outfielder Sal Frelick making an intense face as he prepares to throw the ball

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

I am proof positive they would be very respectful about it the whole time, unsure if that’s a bonus or a problem

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

Funniest part is there’s two of him, his little brother who is the same height will probably make the team next year

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

Look at my sweet giant adult son tho. That’s 6’4” Tom Wilson behind him

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

It is the song of your people yes

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

Anyway between team He Will Definitely Regress (literally everyone) and team No He Won’t (me), guess who’s winning right now (it’s me, I’m winning)

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

He does use the 6’6” to his advantage but that’s by leveraging his fucking prehistoric condor wingspan to deflect pucks past the blue line and into open ice for breakaways

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 16h

Extremely funny when a writer is talking about 6’6” Aliaksei Protas’s breakout and uses words like “physicality” and “toughness” and it’s clear they’ve seen his profile without watching him play. 6’6” Lady Byng candidate. I love the guy but the next time I see him lay a monster hit will be the first

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 18h

I will treasure this screenshot

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 1d

I certainly hope so!

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 1d

What the fuck are you talking about