Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
@erinksaunders.bsky.social
Slow runner, fast walker, bean counter, servant of the felines. Hyperbolic every minute of every day since the dawn of time!
Pinned
And yes, I have lofty goals of getting “clinchpoop” and “sandbox croissant” into your lexicon. Former dates back to the 16th Century; latter I saw once on LinkedIn. Dude was taking a right-wing troll to task and he dropped that poetic epithet. I’m a cat owner. I assume it means what it sounds like.
Suddenly men’s antiperspirant comes in 1,000 aspirational fragrances. I assume this is because in 2025, marketing logic is that men need to be tricked into Doing Hygiene.
Women’s options are contracting back down to “smell like a baby’s ass” or “smell like a different baby’s ass.” And they’re weak.
Women’s options are contracting back down to “smell like a baby’s ass” or “smell like a different baby’s ass.” And they’re weak.
November 21, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Suddenly men’s antiperspirant comes in 1,000 aspirational fragrances. I assume this is because in 2025, marketing logic is that men need to be tricked into Doing Hygiene.
Women’s options are contracting back down to “smell like a baby’s ass” or “smell like a different baby’s ass.” And they’re weak.
Women’s options are contracting back down to “smell like a baby’s ass” or “smell like a different baby’s ass.” And they’re weak.
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
Humans can make life lovely & joyous for one another; we can, at the very least, alleviate a lot of needless suffering at little cost, if everyone just contributed a little.
There have always been humans who refused this bargain. Some early societies used to ostracize them. We should try that again.
There have always been humans who refused this bargain. Some early societies used to ostracize them. We should try that again.
My most woke opinion is that the whole point of society is to collectively help each other. My taxes should be going towards housing and feeding everyone. No one should be without food or shelter. Rich people should be contributing more towards this. It shouldn't even be controversial!
November 20, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Humans can make life lovely & joyous for one another; we can, at the very least, alleviate a lot of needless suffering at little cost, if everyone just contributed a little.
There have always been humans who refused this bargain. Some early societies used to ostracize them. We should try that again.
There have always been humans who refused this bargain. Some early societies used to ostracize them. We should try that again.
I’m not saying the Venn overlap of “sleazebag creep you should
not pick” and “no-talent hack you should not pick” is 100%. Tragically far from it!
I am saying I’ve met a lot of romantically unpickable dudes who are also professionally unpickable enough to constantly whine about not getting picked
not pick” and “no-talent hack you should not pick” is 100%. Tragically far from it!
I am saying I’ve met a lot of romantically unpickable dudes who are also professionally unpickable enough to constantly whine about not getting picked
bold move (if you're a fucking dipshit) to make a statement like this before the actual DOJ info gets released. you know, the place where you would expect to actually see "evidence of criminality" besides, you know, the actual, existing criminal convictions of *more than one person* in the story.
The Washington Post, everyone!
November 20, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I’m not saying the Venn overlap of “sleazebag creep you should
not pick” and “no-talent hack you should not pick” is 100%. Tragically far from it!
I am saying I’ve met a lot of romantically unpickable dudes who are also professionally unpickable enough to constantly whine about not getting picked
not pick” and “no-talent hack you should not pick” is 100%. Tragically far from it!
I am saying I’ve met a lot of romantically unpickable dudes who are also professionally unpickable enough to constantly whine about not getting picked
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad
November 20, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad
$500.00 paid to a “body modification artist” to carve mean words on her so she could play Distressed Damsel in the woods.
Between the work quality, its permanence, and the hoaxster owning a Maserati, that seems like exactly the wrong price for this…
but I don’t know which direction it’s wrong in.
Between the work quality, its permanence, and the hoaxster owning a Maserati, that seems like exactly the wrong price for this…
but I don’t know which direction it’s wrong in.
SCOOP — A former staffer for Rep. Jeff Van Drew (R-NJ), Natalie Green, 26, was charged today for falsely reporting she was attacked by 3 men who wrote "TRUMP WHORE" on her stomach bc of her job. It was staged by her + a friend.
Van Drew isn't named in the complaint but I've confirmed w/ his office.
Van Drew isn't named in the complaint but I've confirmed w/ his office.
Employee of a Federal Official Charged with Conspiracy to Falsely Report Violent Attack and Giving False Statements to Law Enforcement
A New Jersey woman was charged with conspiring and falsely reporting to law enforcement that she had been violently assaulted with a firearm due to her employment with a federal official.
www.justice.gov
November 20, 2025 at 2:16 AM
$500.00 paid to a “body modification artist” to carve mean words on her so she could play Distressed Damsel in the woods.
Between the work quality, its permanence, and the hoaxster owning a Maserati, that seems like exactly the wrong price for this…
but I don’t know which direction it’s wrong in.
Between the work quality, its permanence, and the hoaxster owning a Maserati, that seems like exactly the wrong price for this…
but I don’t know which direction it’s wrong in.
Rank-and-file bureaucrats in higher ed feel this harder than you imagine. Our job is to fall on the sword on behalf of the career academic who has never heard of any laws — especially around procurement, asset management, tax, or worker’s rights
(TBF neither has anyone he voted for amirite folks?)
(TBF neither has anyone he voted for amirite folks?)
I'm far from the first person to point this out but feels like it should be a unifying thing that struggling gig economy people can be one bad review away from ruin and white collar people often have jobs where failure has legal consequences while rich people can fuck up as many times as they want
it is morally abhorrent to me to ruin the lives of delivery people by giving them bad reviews but if you pick up my pizza and I have to text you 40 minutes later about whether or not you’re going to bring me my food I’m going to bitch about it anonymously on the internet
November 19, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Rank-and-file bureaucrats in higher ed feel this harder than you imagine. Our job is to fall on the sword on behalf of the career academic who has never heard of any laws — especially around procurement, asset management, tax, or worker’s rights
(TBF neither has anyone he voted for amirite folks?)
(TBF neither has anyone he voted for amirite folks?)
Describe your profession with a self-roast:
I’ve been encouraged to use AI chatbots to help me humanize my written communication
I’ve been encouraged to use AI chatbots to help me humanize my written communication
a little girl with a red bow in her hair is looking at the camera with a youtube play button below her
Alt: Vicki, the adorable girl robot from mid- (and MID) ‘80s shitcom “Small Wonder,” goes on the fritz after a long day of masking
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Describe your profession with a self-roast:
I’ve been encouraged to use AI chatbots to help me humanize my written communication
I’ve been encouraged to use AI chatbots to help me humanize my written communication
Hot take no one asked for:
PROVIDED THAT you descended from the “bathing is bad 4 u” goblins* who population-bottlenecked their way thru the Black Death, and
AND IF you bear phenotypical evidence of certain mutations common to that population (e.g., straight hair, wet earwax)…
PROVIDED THAT you descended from the “bathing is bad 4 u” goblins* who population-bottlenecked their way thru the Black Death, and
AND IF you bear phenotypical evidence of certain mutations common to that population (e.g., straight hair, wet earwax)…
Just caught up*
Far be it from me to drag a fellow lady for appearances, but some folks give straight “I gave up shampoo three weeks ago and I don’t even smell bad!” vibes, and Nancy is this
*on this morning’s hair
Far be it from me to drag a fellow lady for appearances, but some folks give straight “I gave up shampoo three weeks ago and I don’t even smell bad!” vibes, and Nancy is this
*on this morning’s hair
a cartoon character from the peanuts movie is standing in a field and smiling .
Alt: Pigpen from Peanuts being hygienically sus and cheerfully oblivious
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Hot take no one asked for:
PROVIDED THAT you descended from the “bathing is bad 4 u” goblins* who population-bottlenecked their way thru the Black Death, and
AND IF you bear phenotypical evidence of certain mutations common to that population (e.g., straight hair, wet earwax)…
PROVIDED THAT you descended from the “bathing is bad 4 u” goblins* who population-bottlenecked their way thru the Black Death, and
AND IF you bear phenotypical evidence of certain mutations common to that population (e.g., straight hair, wet earwax)…
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
November 18, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
pleuribus and it's public transit to cry on
November 18, 2025 at 4:26 AM
pleuribus and it's public transit to cry on
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
This is never far from my mind.
SCTV - Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written
YouTube video by westnyacktwins
youtu.be
November 18, 2025 at 6:17 AM
This is never far from my mind.
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
“Someone with a 1-hr car commute needs to earn 40% more to be as happy as someone with a short walk to work. On the other hand, if someone shifts from a long commute to a walk, their happiness increases as much as if they’d fallen in love.” #CityMakingMath
50 reasons to want more walkable cities.
50 reasons to want more walkable cities.
50 Reasons Why Everyone Should Want More Walkable Streets
From making you live longer to making cities more resilient: If you want a reason to make your city more walkable, it's in here.
www.fastcompany.com
November 16, 2025 at 5:40 AM
“Someone with a 1-hr car commute needs to earn 40% more to be as happy as someone with a short walk to work. On the other hand, if someone shifts from a long commute to a walk, their happiness increases as much as if they’d fallen in love.” #CityMakingMath
50 reasons to want more walkable cities.
50 reasons to want more walkable cities.
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
This is real. Our govt is Tweeting like a 14 year old and calling Americans imbecilic morons. We worry about children being bullied but this is the example set by the U.S. GOVERNMENT. This is so shameful. I’m embarrassed for any of you that think this is okay or make excuses for it.
November 15, 2025 at 2:09 PM
This is real. Our govt is Tweeting like a 14 year old and calling Americans imbecilic morons. We worry about children being bullied but this is the example set by the U.S. GOVERNMENT. This is so shameful. I’m embarrassed for any of you that think this is okay or make excuses for it.
This describes exactly what happens when a runner (or any pedestria) embarrasses a narcissistic Utah motorist by reminding them to pay attention to their surroundings.
On the upside, and quite unexpectedly, this time there were some consequences
www.ksl.com/article/5140...
On the upside, and quite unexpectedly, this time there were some consequences
www.ksl.com/article/5140...
Sandy man pleads guilty in road rage attack of runner
A Sandy man who attacked a runner with a baton after a road-rage confrontation has pleaded guilty to a reduced assault charge.
www.ksl.com
November 16, 2025 at 2:01 AM
This describes exactly what happens when a runner (or any pedestria) embarrasses a narcissistic Utah motorist by reminding them to pay attention to their surroundings.
On the upside, and quite unexpectedly, this time there were some consequences
www.ksl.com/article/5140...
On the upside, and quite unexpectedly, this time there were some consequences
www.ksl.com/article/5140...
Note to the professionally oblivious:
“But his emails” will never work the same way as “but her emails,” because dimwitted voters and non-voters never had a problem with damning emails.
The word that upset them was the word “her”
“But his emails” will never work the same way as “but her emails,” because dimwitted voters and non-voters never had a problem with damning emails.
The word that upset them was the word “her”
November 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Note to the professionally oblivious:
“But his emails” will never work the same way as “but her emails,” because dimwitted voters and non-voters never had a problem with damning emails.
The word that upset them was the word “her”
“But his emails” will never work the same way as “but her emails,” because dimwitted voters and non-voters never had a problem with damning emails.
The word that upset them was the word “her”
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
in the 19th century, there were extraordinarily graphic religious tracts condemning lesbianism and bondage. these were sold for relatively high prices to people who wanted to read about lesbianism and bondage. QAnon is that, but for pedophilia.
q anon specifically is really fascinating given that it was initially founded on an infamous gathering site for pedophiles, moved to the site which was explicitly founded by pedophiles for pedophiles, and basically faded away when its followers just got bored of Satanic Pedophile Armageddon
November 13, 2025 at 3:02 AM
in the 19th century, there were extraordinarily graphic religious tracts condemning lesbianism and bondage. these were sold for relatively high prices to people who wanted to read about lesbianism and bondage. QAnon is that, but for pedophilia.
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
Trump Plump Nut Pump Chump? New Emails Raise Troubling Questions
November 15, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Trump Plump Nut Pump Chump? New Emails Raise Troubling Questions
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
Trump sloppy toppy alleged in Epstein copy
November 15, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Trump sloppy toppy alleged in Epstein copy
Every Schmoe goes on about Epstein not offing himself.
Giuffre warned us that she never would, and yet we are all supposed to believe she did.
Garbage men. Unforgivable.
Giuffre warned us that she never would, and yet we are all supposed to believe she did.
Garbage men. Unforgivable.
To be very clear, Virginia Giuffre was made to say she mistakenly identified Alan Dershowitz as one of the people who sexually abused her. Here is the proof from this week's Epstein files dropped by the House Oversight Committee.
November 15, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Every Schmoe goes on about Epstein not offing himself.
Giuffre warned us that she never would, and yet we are all supposed to believe she did.
Garbage men. Unforgivable.
Giuffre warned us that she never would, and yet we are all supposed to believe she did.
Garbage men. Unforgivable.
If COVID taught us anything, Republicans think they’ll live past 100.
If subprime mortgages taught us anything, they also think they’ll be billionaires tomorrow.
If 2016 and 2024 taught us anything, many independents are just as credulous, but on a delay.
If subprime mortgages taught us anything, they also think they’ll be billionaires tomorrow.
If 2016 and 2024 taught us anything, many independents are just as credulous, but on a delay.
i wish i could have been in the room when they were brainstorming how to solve the housing crisis and someone raised their hand and said "what about 50 year mortgages?"
November 15, 2025 at 5:17 AM
If COVID taught us anything, Republicans think they’ll live past 100.
If subprime mortgages taught us anything, they also think they’ll be billionaires tomorrow.
If 2016 and 2024 taught us anything, many independents are just as credulous, but on a delay.
If subprime mortgages taught us anything, they also think they’ll be billionaires tomorrow.
If 2016 and 2024 taught us anything, many independents are just as credulous, but on a delay.
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
ICE vs the clergy
November 15, 2025 at 1:32 AM
ICE vs the clergy
Reposted by Jonathan Taylor SwiftBoaty McBoatFace-Heel Turn
They should invent a government that isn’t senile pedophile adolf hitler
November 14, 2025 at 4:59 AM
They should invent a government that isn’t senile pedophile adolf hitler
Promising middle-aged man’s bright future derailed by pesky complaints of HOMELESS KID HE MANIPULATED TO PROVIDE BONER-RESOLUTION SHE COULDN’T CONSENT TO
It’s like the whole world is Utah anymore and I hate it
It’s like the whole world is Utah anymore and I hate it
That mean homeless teenager, upending the career of Matt Gaetz.
What on EARTH is @nytimes.com doing?!
She did not “have sex.” She was raped. Because she was a child below the age of consent.
SHE did not “set off a chain of events.” MATT GAETZ set off that train.
What on EARTH is @nytimes.com doing?!
She did not “have sex.” She was raped. Because she was a child below the age of consent.
SHE did not “set off a chain of events.” MATT GAETZ set off that train.
A teenager in Florida with a homeless parent wanted money for braces and ended up having sex for money with powerful men, setting off a chain of events that would have a dramatic impact on her life and help upend the political career of Representative Matt Gaetz. nyti.ms/49PSkL9
November 14, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Promising middle-aged man’s bright future derailed by pesky complaints of HOMELESS KID HE MANIPULATED TO PROVIDE BONER-RESOLUTION SHE COULDN’T CONSENT TO
It’s like the whole world is Utah anymore and I hate it
It’s like the whole world is Utah anymore and I hate it
I genuinely don’t know how to feel about Coinbase ads featuring “Creature Comforts.”
I’m happy for Aardman Animation, and I’m also old enough to remember A) OG Creature Comforts and B) getting ornery when an already-successful creator “sold out.”
I’m happy for Aardman Animation, and I’m also old enough to remember A) OG Creature Comforts and B) getting ornery when an already-successful creator “sold out.”
a cartoon dog is wearing a party hat and scarf
ALT: a cartoon dog is wearing a party hat and scarf
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 4:00 AM
I genuinely don’t know how to feel about Coinbase ads featuring “Creature Comforts.”
I’m happy for Aardman Animation, and I’m also old enough to remember A) OG Creature Comforts and B) getting ornery when an already-successful creator “sold out.”
I’m happy for Aardman Animation, and I’m also old enough to remember A) OG Creature Comforts and B) getting ornery when an already-successful creator “sold out.”
I predict that the low-info anti-trafficking dupes who went Q will fall away over this, because they genuinely care about kids being exploited.
But a lot of other Qberts just wanted a socially-acceptable excuse to read lurid torture stories on the Internet all day.
And those ones will stay MAGA.
But a lot of other Qberts just wanted a socially-acceptable excuse to read lurid torture stories on the Internet all day.
And those ones will stay MAGA.
Best case: The President of the United States knew about a pedophilia ring and did nothing to stop it.
Medium case: He also used his office to protect the perpetrators.
Worst case: Because he was one of the perpetrators.
Medium case: He also used his office to protect the perpetrators.
Worst case: Because he was one of the perpetrators.
November 14, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I predict that the low-info anti-trafficking dupes who went Q will fall away over this, because they genuinely care about kids being exploited.
But a lot of other Qberts just wanted a socially-acceptable excuse to read lurid torture stories on the Internet all day.
And those ones will stay MAGA.
But a lot of other Qberts just wanted a socially-acceptable excuse to read lurid torture stories on the Internet all day.
And those ones will stay MAGA.