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cunty
@cunty.social
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cunty @cunty.social · Mar 11
Wise the fuck up. Next customer.

(Me as a therapist)
Idk who needs to hear this but.. it’s a Union Flag or a Union Jack, it’s never a Union Jack Flag
December 13, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Y’know for a while I couldn’t tell Tom Selleck from Burt Reynolds, but I got over it
December 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Reposted by cunty
I was put on Earth for one reason. To get laid and get high.
December 7, 2025 at 1:31 PM
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Get in loser, we're losers. This is the loser bus
December 6, 2025 at 4:39 PM
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i could draw a sideways eight forever
December 7, 2025 at 3:49 PM
There’s basically one core life rule that all other life rules derive from and it goes as such:

“If you are not me, get fucked buddy”
December 7, 2025 at 9:46 AM
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Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown.
December 3, 2025 at 8:31 PM
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You don't truly appreciate magnetic fridge notepads until you're in your forties
November 30, 2025 at 3:55 PM
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The floor is lava, except it’s magma if you’re in the basement.
December 3, 2025 at 8:26 PM
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[Client Meeting]

Organizer: Ok, everyone go around the room, introduce yourself, and share a fun fact

Me: Fun fact, this is fucking stupid.
December 3, 2025 at 8:22 PM
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I hate that I can't ask for ice in my drink without having to prove my citizenship status every time I want to take a sip
December 3, 2025 at 7:51 PM
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It's that most wonderful time of the year, when I try to remind myself to Google "Who the fuck is Parson Brown?"
December 3, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Gremlins is a better Christmas movie than Die Hard fight me
December 3, 2025 at 8:34 PM
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I made you a croc of beans, please respond
December 3, 2025 at 5:54 PM
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I scampered out of the hermit's cave with recluse abandon.
December 3, 2025 at 6:09 PM
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It's not who wins or loses, it's who slashes whose tires after the competition that is important.
December 3, 2025 at 6:13 PM
I don’t need more groove toys, I don’t need more groove toys, I don’t need more… ooh shiny!
November 29, 2025 at 9:24 AM
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bet they stopped making those colorful iMacs bc too many giants thought they were gumdrops.
November 27, 2025 at 11:28 AM
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the cool thing about being an adult is when you use all the free will you have stored up. first of all fuck thanksgiving, I'm having dipsgiving where I feed my family a variety of hot dips with chips and crackers. also, fuck a turkey when you can have various cheeses????
November 27, 2025 at 1:51 PM
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If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
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Mornin' 🐾
November 27, 2025 at 2:05 PM
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The only way I would climb Mt Everest is if a helicopter dropped me off at the summit and then came back to pick me up after I took a selfie.

I know that's impossible but I can dare to dream.
November 27, 2025 at 2:27 PM