Banjon
@beardybanjo.bsky.social
striving to put humanity above all other considerations
Reposted by Banjon
CBP Agent: "So, we've reviewed your Discord history and..."
Me: "I can explain!"
Agent: "I very much doubt that. How long has this been going on?"
Me: "We... we started over two years ago."
Agent: "And in that time, the party you DM for has moved how far?"
Me, crying: "About a mile, sir..."
Me: "I can explain!"
Agent: "I very much doubt that. How long has this been going on?"
Me: "We... we started over two years ago."
Agent: "And in that time, the party you DM for has moved how far?"
Me, crying: "About a mile, sir..."
December 10, 2025 at 11:43 PM
CBP Agent: "So, we've reviewed your Discord history and..."
Me: "I can explain!"
Agent: "I very much doubt that. How long has this been going on?"
Me: "We... we started over two years ago."
Agent: "And in that time, the party you DM for has moved how far?"
Me, crying: "About a mile, sir..."
Me: "I can explain!"
Agent: "I very much doubt that. How long has this been going on?"
Me: "We... we started over two years ago."
Agent: "And in that time, the party you DM for has moved how far?"
Me, crying: "About a mile, sir..."
Reposted by Banjon
Rage Against the Machine Learning
December 10, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Rage Against the Machine Learning
Reposted by Banjon
Time again for my favorite christmas post ever, one that still makes me laugh every time i read it
December 23, 2024 at 7:30 PM
Time again for my favorite christmas post ever, one that still makes me laugh every time i read it
Reposted by Banjon
Note to US officials checking my social media: likes and reposts are appreciated
December 10, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Note to US officials checking my social media: likes and reposts are appreciated
Reposted by Banjon
Gas traders 🤝 Climate scientists
December 10, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Gas traders 🤝 Climate scientists
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if you were to make a gender-swapped version of James Bond, and needed to come up with a bawdy euphemism name for a glamorous and sexy Bond Boy, ironically you could do a lot worse than Roger Moore.
December 10, 2025 at 1:31 PM
if you were to make a gender-swapped version of James Bond, and needed to come up with a bawdy euphemism name for a glamorous and sexy Bond Boy, ironically you could do a lot worse than Roger Moore.
Reposted by Banjon
December 10, 2025 at 10:34 AM
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Reposted by Banjon
there is not any particularly strong evidence that study of the humanities make people good people. the elites of many brutal empires were extremely well-read!
December 9, 2025 at 10:22 PM
there is not any particularly strong evidence that study of the humanities make people good people. the elites of many brutal empires were extremely well-read!
Exactly. Imagine how racist you needed to be to stand out *in that time and place* as "the racist one"
"Some small boys say edgy things" and "British public schools have a very fucked up culture" are certainly true but sorry, no. Farage's reported behaviour was extreme and obsessive and he knows we know that, which is why this desperate stuff is getting published
December 9, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Exactly. Imagine how racist you needed to be to stand out *in that time and place* as "the racist one"
And then theres the end joke of the guy working down the chip shop who youd swear is elvish
Discworld QOTD, from Soul Music
"‘mumblemumblemumble,’ said the Dean defiantly, a rebel without a pause."
"‘mumblemumblemumble,’ said the Dean defiantly, a rebel without a pause."
Discworld QOTD, from Pyramids
"He envied his fellow students who believed in gods that were intangible and lived a long way away on top of some mountain. A fellow could really believe in gods like that. But it was extremely hard to believe in a god when you saw him at breakfast every day."
"He envied his fellow students who believed in gods that were intangible and lived a long way away on top of some mountain. A fellow could really believe in gods like that. But it was extremely hard to believe in a god when you saw him at breakfast every day."
December 9, 2025 at 8:00 PM
And then theres the end joke of the guy working down the chip shop who youd swear is elvish
And then of course there was the bit about a magic instrument being stolen by a holy man, but who cares about some felonious monk?
many Discworld books have an overarching point to make, and the point of Soul Music is "I have so many stupid jokes about music and pop culture that need somewhere to go so I'm putting them all in one book"
December 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
And then of course there was the bit about a magic instrument being stolen by a holy man, but who cares about some felonious monk?
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I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to watch this until the end
December 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to watch this until the end
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you know who's got some good book titles? The Council for the Care of Churches.
"It won't happen to us: a guide to church insurance"
"Sounds good! a guide to church organs"
"Widening the eye of the needle: a guide to church access"
"how not to do it: installing electricity in your church (1940)"
"It won't happen to us: a guide to church insurance"
"Sounds good! a guide to church organs"
"Widening the eye of the needle: a guide to church access"
"how not to do it: installing electricity in your church (1940)"
December 9, 2025 at 11:00 AM
you know who's got some good book titles? The Council for the Care of Churches.
"It won't happen to us: a guide to church insurance"
"Sounds good! a guide to church organs"
"Widening the eye of the needle: a guide to church access"
"how not to do it: installing electricity in your church (1940)"
"It won't happen to us: a guide to church insurance"
"Sounds good! a guide to church organs"
"Widening the eye of the needle: a guide to church access"
"how not to do it: installing electricity in your church (1940)"
Reposted by Banjon
"I'll burn down your house" - legally actionable, boring, common
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
December 7, 2025 at 11:56 PM
"I'll burn down your house" - legally actionable, boring, common
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
Reposted by Banjon
A lot of carols get really doctrinal around verse 4. It’s like:
v1 Jesus was born in winter
v2 Which makes us happy
v3 Because he reconciles us to God
v4 By uniting the divine and human natures in his person, without division and without confusion
v1 Jesus was born in winter
v2 Which makes us happy
v3 Because he reconciles us to God
v4 By uniting the divine and human natures in his person, without division and without confusion
December 21, 2023 at 6:43 AM
A lot of carols get really doctrinal around verse 4. It’s like:
v1 Jesus was born in winter
v2 Which makes us happy
v3 Because he reconciles us to God
v4 By uniting the divine and human natures in his person, without division and without confusion
v1 Jesus was born in winter
v2 Which makes us happy
v3 Because he reconciles us to God
v4 By uniting the divine and human natures in his person, without division and without confusion
Reposted by Banjon
Me making my bed: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
December 8, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Me making my bed: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
This email address in this context is so funny to me. You can just here the resigned sceptical tone of "(oh) *here* we go..."
December 9, 2025 at 8:46 AM
This email address in this context is so funny to me. You can just here the resigned sceptical tone of "(oh) *here* we go..."
Red dwarf predicted this
December 8, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Red dwarf predicted this
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Genuinely love whoever in aincient Mesopotamia decided that the correct shape for weights was ducks.
RETVRN
RETVRN
December 8, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Genuinely love whoever in aincient Mesopotamia decided that the correct shape for weights was ducks.
RETVRN
RETVRN
Reposted by Banjon
UK EV drivers save £540 more on running costs than those in Germany.
Why? Combo of smart meters + flexible tariffs is now widespread in the UK but in its infancy in Germany.
Why? Combo of smart meters + flexible tariffs is now widespread in the UK but in its infancy in Germany.
December 8, 2025 at 10:22 AM
UK EV drivers save £540 more on running costs than those in Germany.
Why? Combo of smart meters + flexible tariffs is now widespread in the UK but in its infancy in Germany.
Why? Combo of smart meters + flexible tariffs is now widespread in the UK but in its infancy in Germany.
Reposted by Banjon
Hollywood Films Increasingly Funded By Saudi Arabia https://theonion.com/hollywood-films-increasingly-funded-by-saudi-arabia/
December 8, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Hollywood Films Increasingly Funded By Saudi Arabia https://theonion.com/hollywood-films-increasingly-funded-by-saudi-arabia/
Reposted by Banjon
Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair
December 8, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair
He's not learned from his "hang in there ladies" message to afghan women after he celibrated the talinan victory, has he?
What is this high school debate shit?
Everyone wants peace!
Adults just realize that any peace which lasts beyond a Russian re-arming / recruitment cycle has to be on terms that don't reward Russia's initial invasion with land and legitimacy, and which meaningfully deter future aggression.
Everyone wants peace!
Adults just realize that any peace which lasts beyond a Russian re-arming / recruitment cycle has to be on terms that don't reward Russia's initial invasion with land and legitimacy, and which meaningfully deter future aggression.
December 8, 2025 at 7:19 PM
He's not learned from his "hang in there ladies" message to afghan women after he celibrated the talinan victory, has he?