The Crypt Keeper
@thecryptkeeper.bsky.social
Hello BOILS and GHOULS! It's me, your GHOST with the most. The master of SCARE-emonies. Your creepy cadaver with tons of swagger. Follow the Cryptkeeper for putrid puns and a WICKED good time. I FOUL-low back. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!
Pinned
Call me old fashioned, but in my day, CRYPTo currency was whatever jewelry you could take from the casket before they buried it. And CRYPTo mining was when you had to dig it up!
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
The Crypt Keeper has better skin, more charisma and people actually want to spend time with him.
June 15, 2025 at 1:07 AM
The Crypt Keeper has better skin, more charisma and people actually want to spend time with him.
I'm afraid I can only give this one a 9 out of 10. He missed a perfect opportunity to call it a KanGHOUL!
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHE
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHE
The Crypt Keeper: (wearing a backwards Kangol) You’ve got to FRIGHT for your RIGHT to part-FLEE AH HA HA HA HEE HA HEE
June 14, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I'm afraid I can only give this one a 9 out of 10. He missed a perfect opportunity to call it a KanGHOUL!
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHE
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHE
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
The Crypt Keeper: (wearing a backwards Kangol) You’ve got to FRIGHT for your RIGHT to part-FLEE AH HA HA HA HEE HA HEE
June 13, 2025 at 7:20 PM
The Crypt Keeper: (wearing a backwards Kangol) You’ve got to FRIGHT for your RIGHT to part-FLEE AH HA HA HA HEE HA HEE
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Dumb D&D idea: players find a note with faded letters, but it looks like they can find vast amounts of treasure in the “Crypt Keeper’s Tomb.”
They arrive find an undead obsessing over worthless copies of valuable trinkets, and learn the undead’s true title: The Crypto Keeper
They arrive find an undead obsessing over worthless copies of valuable trinkets, and learn the undead’s true title: The Crypto Keeper
June 12, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Dumb D&D idea: players find a note with faded letters, but it looks like they can find vast amounts of treasure in the “Crypt Keeper’s Tomb.”
They arrive find an undead obsessing over worthless copies of valuable trinkets, and learn the undead’s true title: The Crypto Keeper
They arrive find an undead obsessing over worthless copies of valuable trinkets, and learn the undead’s true title: The Crypto Keeper
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
In my Cryptkeeper voice, I call this tale of devilish delight "Ghouls night out." Cryptkeeperlaugh
June 12, 2025 at 1:16 PM
In my Cryptkeeper voice, I call this tale of devilish delight "Ghouls night out." Cryptkeeperlaugh
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Would have also accepted carcass copying, your dead majesty.
June 12, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Would have also accepted carcass copying, your dead majesty.
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Got cryptkeeper dysphoria, born a boy but I transitioned to a ghoul yeeheeeheeheeheee
June 12, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Got cryptkeeper dysphoria, born a boy but I transitioned to a ghoul yeeheeeheeheeheee
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Well the Cryptkeeper is Definately sexier Than Steven KILLER..oops... Miller.
Thank you for the subskeet, Crypt Keeper! Big fan of your unflappable humor and raw sexuality!
May 31, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Well the Cryptkeeper is Definately sexier Than Steven KILLER..oops... Miller.
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
The phrase "emerging writer" makes me think you're rising out of a swamp to enact an ancient vengeance on the town folk
May 31, 2025 at 4:19 PM
The phrase "emerging writer" makes me think you're rising out of a swamp to enact an ancient vengeance on the town folk
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
And you could, too!
Legit summoned the Crypt keeper lol
May 30, 2025 at 10:58 PM
And you could, too!
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
You have to understand that this was our first shot at the silver SCREAM. The DIErector was DEADset on casting Ralph RichardSIN and I was just thrilled to DEATH at the thought of making a movie.
Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:12 PM
You have to understand that this was our first shot at the silver SCREAM. The DIErector was DEADset on casting Ralph RichardSIN and I was just thrilled to DEATH at the thought of making a movie.
Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
If I were in charge of the HEXuctive branch, you would see true BLEEDership.
I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.
AH-HEHEHEHEHA
I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.
AH-HEHEHEHEHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:21 PM
If I were in charge of the HEXuctive branch, you would see true BLEEDership.
I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.
AH-HEHEHEHEHA
I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.
AH-HEHEHEHEHA
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
I've had many careers. I've been an apiarist, a soccer goalie, and an accountant. I even cleaned hotel rooms, at one point.
Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife.
AH-HEHEHAHAHA
Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife.
AH-HEHEHAHAHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I've had many careers. I've been an apiarist, a soccer goalie, and an accountant. I even cleaned hotel rooms, at one point.
Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife.
AH-HEHEHAHAHA
Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife.
AH-HEHEHAHAHA
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Thank you for the subskeet, Crypt Keeper! Big fan of your unflappable humor and raw sexuality!
Call me old fashioned, but in my day, CRYPTo currency was whatever jewelry you could take from the casket before they buried it. And CRYPTo mining was when you had to dig it up!
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
May 30, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Thank you for the subskeet, Crypt Keeper! Big fan of your unflappable humor and raw sexuality!
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
It’s Saturday!
Post a cartoon series that you love. 📺🖤
Post a cartoon series that you love. 📺🖤
May 31, 2025 at 12:42 PM
It’s Saturday!
Post a cartoon series that you love. 📺🖤
Post a cartoon series that you love. 📺🖤
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
@darthbluesky.bsky.social “In the northwest corner of Washington State on Friday morning, the authorities issued a most unusual all-points bulletin, rather, an A.P.Bee.” www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/u...
250 Million Honeybees Escape After a Truck Rolls Over in Washington State
www.nytimes.com
May 30, 2025 at 11:14 PM
@darthbluesky.bsky.social “In the northwest corner of Washington State on Friday morning, the authorities issued a most unusual all-points bulletin, rather, an A.P.Bee.” www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/u...
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Oh you evil ghoul!!
Don't ruin my gond child time memories of you and classics like The Mummy Never Sleeps!?
Also
Pretty good
Don't ruin my gond child time memories of you and classics like The Mummy Never Sleeps!?
Also
Pretty good
If I were in charge of the HEXuctive branch, you would see true BLEEDership.
I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.
AH-HEHEHEHEHA
I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.
AH-HEHEHEHEHA
May 30, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Oh you evil ghoul!!
Don't ruin my gond child time memories of you and classics like The Mummy Never Sleeps!?
Also
Pretty good
Don't ruin my gond child time memories of you and classics like The Mummy Never Sleeps!?
Also
Pretty good
And you could, too!
Legit summoned the Crypt keeper lol
May 30, 2025 at 10:58 PM
And you could, too!
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
You have to understand that this was our first shot at the silver SCREAM. The DIErector was DEADset on casting Ralph RichardSIN and I was just thrilled to DEATH at the thought of making a movie.
Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.
AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
This hip young investor just wised me up about a whole Crypt O' Currency
May 29, 2025 at 6:25 AM
This hip young investor just wised me up about a whole Crypt O' Currency
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
get pissed on you dead bitch
May 30, 2025 at 2:09 AM
get pissed on you dead bitch
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
the cryptkeeper is capable of laughter
May 28, 2025 at 10:25 PM
the cryptkeeper is capable of laughter
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
I'm being told it's a "bloody good" deal and that I'd "beheaded" in the wrong direction if I didn't invest
May 29, 2025 at 6:27 AM
I'm being told it's a "bloody good" deal and that I'd "beheaded" in the wrong direction if I didn't invest
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
"See to the crypt, will you. And feed the Crypt Keeper. He's getting all bite-y again."
#hyrcrew #CryptStatic
#hyrcrew #CryptStatic
May 30, 2025 at 12:48 AM
"See to the crypt, will you. And feed the Crypt Keeper. He's getting all bite-y again."
#hyrcrew #CryptStatic
#hyrcrew #CryptStatic
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
I’ve gotten hold of the old Tales from the Crypt series and I’m starting them from the beginning 🍿
May 29, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I’ve gotten hold of the old Tales from the Crypt series and I’m starting them from the beginning 🍿