The Crypt Keeper
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thecryptkeeper.bsky.social
The Crypt Keeper
@thecryptkeeper.bsky.social
Hello BOILS and GHOULS! It's me, your GHOST with the most. The master of SCARE-emonies. Your creepy cadaver with tons of swagger. Follow the Cryptkeeper for putrid puns and a WICKED good time. I FOUL-low back. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!
This country needs new BLEEDership.

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
June 20, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
The Crypt Keeper has better skin, more charisma and people actually want to spend time with him.
June 15, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Who isn't a fan of the BEASTie BOILS?

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
June 14, 2025 at 3:14 PM
We just call that a "CORPSEplayer"

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
June 14, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
In my Cryptkeeper voice, I call this tale of devilish delight "Ghouls night out." Cryptkeeperlaugh
June 12, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Call me old fashioned, but in my day, CRYPTo currency was whatever jewelry you could take from the casket before they buried it. And CRYPTo mining was when you had to dig it up!

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
June 12, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
Would have also accepted carcass copying, your dead majesty.
June 12, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Love it? I ABHOR it!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA
June 12, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Please, Cryptie is just fine. I'm just a regular Joe-schmo, not a descendant of BOILty.
June 12, 2025 at 4:49 PM
That's what happens when you start HORRORmone replacement therapy.

AH-HEHEHAHAHAHA
June 12, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Thanks for COFFIN copying me on that one!

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
June 12, 2025 at 4:40 PM
And the phrase "HEMORRHAGING writer" makes me think you're one of their victims.

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
May 31, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
You have to understand that this was our first shot at the silver SCREAM. The DIErector was DEADset on casting Ralph RichardSIN and I was just thrilled to DEATH at the thought of making a movie.

Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport.

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
If I were in charge of the HEXuctive branch, you would see true BLEEDership.

I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet.

AH-HEHEHEHEHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I'm always happy to FRIGHTEN someone's day with my whimsical witticisms.

AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
May 31, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Reposted by The Crypt Keeper
I've had many careers. I've been an apiarist, a soccer goalie, and an accountant. I even cleaned hotel rooms, at one point.

Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife.

AH-HEHEHAHAHA
May 30, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I'd call that episode The Tell-Tale HARLOT

AH-HAHAHAHA
May 31, 2025 at 1:50 PM