Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out.
Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023.
Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023.
Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
Pinned
Wife: "Love, what exactly is discharge?"
Me: "Uh... Okay... Well, you should know, but when a woman is ovulating, her cervix makes a mucus that..."
Wife: [showing me her phone] "no, what exactly is THIS CHARGE"
Me: "Oh. I bought a hat for my penis from penis hat dot com."
Me: "Uh... Okay... Well, you should know, but when a woman is ovulating, her cervix makes a mucus that..."
Wife: [showing me her phone] "no, what exactly is THIS CHARGE"
Me: "Oh. I bought a hat for my penis from penis hat dot com."
Wow! Thats amazing! It’s like religiously significant beans!
November 24, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Wow! Thats amazing! It’s like religiously significant beans!
You’re a green one, wicked witch
November 24, 2025 at 7:12 PM
You’re a green one, wicked witch
[metal detecting while frustrated] “beach better have my money”
November 24, 2025 at 7:11 PM
[metal detecting while frustrated] “beach better have my money”
You can’t declare a thumb war without congressional approval.
November 23, 2025 at 4:02 AM
You can’t declare a thumb war without congressional approval.
All inclusive resorts are great for people that like the aesthetics of culture without the existence of culture.
November 23, 2025 at 12:07 AM
All inclusive resorts are great for people that like the aesthetics of culture without the existence of culture.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
Idk, not sure about these friends we made along the way
November 22, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Idk, not sure about these friends we made along the way
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
John Wick was cool but those movies would have been way cooler if that was Queen Elizabeth II
November 22, 2025 at 7:56 AM
John Wick was cool but those movies would have been way cooler if that was Queen Elizabeth II
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
babe, listen, I need you to bring me $15,000 cash and my passport. I out-pizza’d the hut and they are after me
November 22, 2025 at 1:26 AM
babe, listen, I need you to bring me $15,000 cash and my passport. I out-pizza’d the hut and they are after me
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
TEACHER: what are the five senses
ME: nickels
ME: nickels
November 22, 2025 at 3:06 AM
TEACHER: what are the five senses
ME: nickels
ME: nickels
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
I think after a trillion apologies ms jackson should at least consider forgiveness
November 22, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I think after a trillion apologies ms jackson should at least consider forgiveness
Shaggy: “it wasn’t me”
Trump: “I believe him!”
Trump: “I believe him!”
November 22, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Shaggy: “it wasn’t me”
Trump: “I believe him!”
Trump: “I believe him!”
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
Behind every woman is a man refusing to give her personal space while she has things to do.
November 7, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Behind every woman is a man refusing to give her personal space while she has things to do.
We should be prouder of the brave little things we do every day. For example, right now I am pooping in a public restroom 💪
November 21, 2025 at 7:51 PM
We should be prouder of the brave little things we do every day. For example, right now I am pooping in a public restroom 💪
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
me: *eating fresh mackerel* this must be what penguin tastes like
November 21, 2025 at 3:20 PM
me: *eating fresh mackerel* this must be what penguin tastes like
You might say I’m “the bomb.” My feet make clicking noises when I walk.
November 21, 2025 at 3:17 PM
You might say I’m “the bomb.” My feet make clicking noises when I walk.
Don’t tread on mill
November 21, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Don’t tread on mill
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
The world needs less crossword puzzles and more kindword puzzles
November 21, 2025 at 4:28 AM
The world needs less crossword puzzles and more kindword puzzles
I love all of you.
November 21, 2025 at 6:38 AM
I love all of you.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
string cheese is just cheese hair, hair that is now inside you, it’s a part of you
November 20, 2025 at 11:42 PM
string cheese is just cheese hair, hair that is now inside you, it’s a part of you
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
Anything you can do, I can do bitter.
November 20, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Anything you can do, I can do bitter.
[after doing something embarrassing] “quick! put the self esteem in ice and doctors may be able to save it”
November 21, 2025 at 5:41 AM
[after doing something embarrassing] “quick! put the self esteem in ice and doctors may be able to save it”
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
I put the POS in shitposter
November 12, 2025 at 10:27 PM
I put the POS in shitposter
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
**Snorting lines of hot chocolate and sharpening candy canes to prepare for the war on Christmas.
November 21, 2025 at 1:39 AM
**Snorting lines of hot chocolate and sharpening candy canes to prepare for the war on Christmas.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
I’m starting to think those bitches on Facebook did not pray for me
November 20, 2025 at 11:32 PM
I’m starting to think those bitches on Facebook did not pray for me