Sacred Machines
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sacredmachines.bsky.social
Sacred Machines
@sacredmachines.bsky.social
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when i die i don’t want to be buried or cremated, i want to be pickled
February 5, 2026 at 2:27 PM
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When someone asks me what my sign is
February 2, 2026 at 1:42 AM
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Winner, to date. 🏆
January 31, 2026 at 8:19 PM
If you’re happy and you know it clap your glands.
January 31, 2026 at 2:34 PM
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SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have

SCOOBY DOO: rabies

SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant
January 29, 2026 at 3:20 AM
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Classic abuser.
January 30, 2026 at 1:30 PM
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i will straight up fist fight punxsutawney phil if he calls for more winter
January 30, 2026 at 10:06 AM
“And that’s how your Daddy and I met.”
one time at nordstrom a guy was helping me in the shoe dept and it turned out he didn’t work there he was just a feet freak
January 19, 2026 at 11:27 PM
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Fairly sure it’s unintentional, but the end date on this mug being sold by the Smithsonian does make it sound a little like they’re saying America dies in 2026…
January 19, 2026 at 9:04 PM
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I was very disappointed to find out fantasy football had nothing to do with elves or dwarves
January 18, 2026 at 9:59 PM
January 15, 2026 at 10:54 PM
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The few pieces I have seen by Mary Spender have been great, and this one is no exception.
"...and maybe that's the real economics of jazz: not profit, but participation."
#music #musicsky #jazzmusic #jazzsky

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhP...
Can Live Music Actually Survive?
YouTube video by Mary Spender
www.youtube.com
January 9, 2026 at 5:48 PM
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"Venezuela is the Iraq of Vietnams."
Rick Wilson, on the podcast Fast Politics.
@therickwilson.bsky.social
@mollyjongfast.bsky.social
January 5, 2026 at 12:18 PM
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probably because they have to keep stopping to pick up their backpacks
December 30, 2025 at 2:20 PM
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i want to think happy new year thoughts but all i can think is here we go again
December 31, 2025 at 1:23 PM
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ME: it’s boxing day

SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT: oh shit oh fuck
December 27, 2025 at 4:38 AM
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there is too much internet
December 24, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Christians: “immaculate conception”

Me: “consent”
December 25, 2025 at 1:56 PM
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how the fuck do the Flintstones know about Christmas
December 21, 2025 at 8:46 AM
Me whenever I play my saxophone in public.
December 20, 2025 at 7:57 PM
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no i’m not an introvert i just don’t like anybody
December 19, 2025 at 11:57 AM
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When will my husband return from the war on Christmas
December 16, 2025 at 10:58 AM
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Remember, never let anyone ruin your day.

It's your day. Be an adult.

Ruin it yourself.
September 9, 2025 at 3:40 PM