Jared Olsen
@olsenjared.bsky.social
Reposted by Jared Olsen
It's weird to not only have lived through an information revolution but also now living through its undoing, all within less than a generation.
Google at its peak was basically the best information retrieval system in human history and they and every competitor decided going from there to “you didn’t want answers you wanted half-assed auto-complete 80%-wrong hallucinations” in a few years was the right idea
November 25, 2025 at 12:19 PM
It's weird to not only have lived through an information revolution but also now living through its undoing, all within less than a generation.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
There's no way RFK Jr. doesn't have straight up grave breath, right? Just given what we know, factually. It's got to melt vinyl siding
November 25, 2025 at 5:47 AM
There's no way RFK Jr. doesn't have straight up grave breath, right? Just given what we know, factually. It's got to melt vinyl siding
Reposted by Jared Olsen
might just steer this ship into them singing broads
November 23, 2025 at 11:43 PM
might just steer this ship into them singing broads
Reposted by Jared Olsen
The problem with climate change is we have to convince a bunch of people that future people are actual people, when they don't even believe some currently alive people are people.
November 23, 2025 at 10:11 PM
The problem with climate change is we have to convince a bunch of people that future people are actual people, when they don't even believe some currently alive people are people.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Okay he may cause mass death and suffering, he may have destroyed the lives of many people who loved him, but you can’t deny the irresistible charm of a man whose sexts sound like an AI prompt for “handwritten novel you find in your grandmother’s desk drawer after she dies”
Every single time I read something like this, which is getting to be twice a week minimum, I think of Bill Cassidy changing his vote to “yes” because RFK jr told Cassidy they would have special biweekly phone calls.
RFK Jr. says he personally directed CDC’s new guidance on vaccines and autism | CNN
Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. personally directed the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to update its website to contradict its longtime guidance that vaccines don’t cause autis...
www.cnn.com
November 23, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Okay he may cause mass death and suffering, he may have destroyed the lives of many people who loved him, but you can’t deny the irresistible charm of a man whose sexts sound like an AI prompt for “handwritten novel you find in your grandmother’s desk drawer after she dies”
Reposted by Jared Olsen
It’s always Buy One, Get One Free At the self checkout
November 23, 2025 at 3:40 AM
It’s always Buy One, Get One Free At the self checkout
Reposted by Jared Olsen
pearl clutching in response to reading low effort sexts between two assholes published by a third asshole
November 22, 2025 at 1:18 PM
pearl clutching in response to reading low effort sexts between two assholes published by a third asshole
Reposted by Jared Olsen
I don't care about that dumb bitch or any of the men she fucked or any of their shitty articles about her. put her on an ice floe and shove her out to sea forever
November 22, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I don't care about that dumb bitch or any of the men she fucked or any of their shitty articles about her. put her on an ice floe and shove her out to sea forever
Reposted by Jared Olsen
well, I read it, and the salient, non-gross part is Lizza alleging, midsentence and without elaboration, that Nuzzi ran numerous “catch-and-kill operations” on RFK’s behalf, which would give her a role in both his appointment and the untold preventable deaths he has abetted in office. Cool.
November 22, 2025 at 2:31 PM
well, I read it, and the salient, non-gross part is Lizza alleging, midsentence and without elaboration, that Nuzzi ran numerous “catch-and-kill operations” on RFK’s behalf, which would give her a role in both his appointment and the untold preventable deaths he has abetted in office. Cool.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
I love wearing new jeans. Your friends will be like “wow what smells like shit” and you get to say “that’s my jeans” and they say “did you shit your pants” and you say “no the smell is formaldehyde” and then everybody still thinks you stink but nobody thinks you shit your pants anymore except Dave
November 22, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I love wearing new jeans. Your friends will be like “wow what smells like shit” and you get to say “that’s my jeans” and they say “did you shit your pants” and you say “no the smell is formaldehyde” and then everybody still thinks you stink but nobody thinks you shit your pants anymore except Dave
Reposted by Jared Olsen
people are reading "catch-and-kill" in the journalistic sense but she was probably just finding raccoons for him to eat
November 22, 2025 at 3:04 PM
people are reading "catch-and-kill" in the journalistic sense but she was probably just finding raccoons for him to eat
Reposted by Jared Olsen
This thing I'm mad about isn't real, but imagine if it were. Wouldn't that be terrible
November 22, 2025 at 7:48 PM
This thing I'm mad about isn't real, but imagine if it were. Wouldn't that be terrible
Reposted by Jared Olsen
There has literally never been a universal basic income trial program that didn't deliver real and measurable results above and beyond any other form of social welfare, and every time another concludes with the same findings the powers that be go "interesting! Anyway," and pretend it wouldn't work.
November 22, 2025 at 6:00 AM
There has literally never been a universal basic income trial program that didn't deliver real and measurable results above and beyond any other form of social welfare, and every time another concludes with the same findings the powers that be go "interesting! Anyway," and pretend it wouldn't work.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
from now on i'm going to pronounce MRI as "Mister I" or perhaps go fully unhigned and pronounce it "mystery"
November 23, 2025 at 12:31 AM
from now on i'm going to pronounce MRI as "Mister I" or perhaps go fully unhigned and pronounce it "mystery"
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Ryan Lizza is doing with his Substack what YouTubers have already perfected: taking serious allegations they’re personally involved with and turning them into melodrama to deflect from any of their own culpability and wrongdoing and monetize the shit out of it. Not journalism plus it’s embarrassing
November 22, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Ryan Lizza is doing with his Substack what YouTubers have already perfected: taking serious allegations they’re personally involved with and turning them into melodrama to deflect from any of their own culpability and wrongdoing and monetize the shit out of it. Not journalism plus it’s embarrassing
Reposted by Jared Olsen
me waking up and opening this app
November 22, 2025 at 12:02 PM
me waking up and opening this app
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Ah, I'm awake again. Time to open the psychological harm app
November 22, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Ah, I'm awake again. Time to open the psychological harm app
Reposted by Jared Olsen
An associate told me that after a date he ended up back at the girl's apartment painting her wall. He said she had never painted a wall before so he was trying to help by showing her how.
I said, "My man, you got Tom Sawyer'd."
I said, "My man, you got Tom Sawyer'd."
November 21, 2025 at 11:47 PM
An associate told me that after a date he ended up back at the girl's apartment painting her wall. He said she had never painted a wall before so he was trying to help by showing her how.
I said, "My man, you got Tom Sawyer'd."
I said, "My man, you got Tom Sawyer'd."
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Massive shoutout out to whoever handles the Royal Canadian Air Force’s social media account. They responded to every single comment on their already very solid Trans Day of Remembrance post and they responded like this…
November 22, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Massive shoutout out to whoever handles the Royal Canadian Air Force’s social media account. They responded to every single comment on their already very solid Trans Day of Remembrance post and they responded like this…
Reposted by Jared Olsen
At my big age — and with my life decently- enough lived — I’m simply not taking even the tiniest slights anymore.
Learn emotional regulation or leave me alone.
Learn emotional regulation or leave me alone.
November 20, 2025 at 5:09 PM
At my big age — and with my life decently- enough lived — I’m simply not taking even the tiniest slights anymore.
Learn emotional regulation or leave me alone.
Learn emotional regulation or leave me alone.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad
November 20, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad
Reposted by Jared Olsen
*irrigates sinuses before talking to hottie at the bar*
November 20, 2025 at 12:04 AM
*irrigates sinuses before talking to hottie at the bar*
Reposted by Jared Olsen
The actual secret to why I know stuff is that I ask a question any time I don’t understand literally anything. I don’t care how simple it is. Anybody who makes fun of you for asking a simple question likely doesn’t know the answer either
November 20, 2025 at 12:32 AM
The actual secret to why I know stuff is that I ask a question any time I don’t understand literally anything. I don’t care how simple it is. Anybody who makes fun of you for asking a simple question likely doesn’t know the answer either
Reposted by Jared Olsen
i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff
November 20, 2025 at 2:25 AM
i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff