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@malonkey1.bsky.social
making a platform with character limits is anti-autistic hate, I know my rights, you can't fucking do this to me, i have a god-given right to yap and when the revolution comes all you bourgeois dogs will hear all my insipid star trek opinions so help me go
Pinned
when i block you it's because i'm curating my internet experience and not giving energy to bad faith actors but when you block me it's because you're an L pussy crashing out epic style and you can't handle the gigachad realness i'm serving
this is a really, really good troll post. just 10/10.
November 26, 2025 at 9:35 PM
this is a really, really good troll post. just 10/10.
went to the doctor with jaundice, he said "might be your kidneys"
i said "i don't have em"
doctor said "what? everyone has kidneys if you didn't you'd be dead or dying"
i said "no, i used to have em, but then i got older. now they're adult knees and they're a little creaky sometimes"
i said "i don't have em"
doctor said "what? everyone has kidneys if you didn't you'd be dead or dying"
i said "no, i used to have em, but then i got older. now they're adult knees and they're a little creaky sometimes"
November 26, 2025 at 9:33 PM
went to the doctor with jaundice, he said "might be your kidneys"
i said "i don't have em"
doctor said "what? everyone has kidneys if you didn't you'd be dead or dying"
i said "no, i used to have em, but then i got older. now they're adult knees and they're a little creaky sometimes"
i said "i don't have em"
doctor said "what? everyone has kidneys if you didn't you'd be dead or dying"
i said "no, i used to have em, but then i got older. now they're adult knees and they're a little creaky sometimes"
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Women posting their Ws
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Women posting their Ws
everyone's grifting you but if you give me six easy payments of $199.99 (down from $399!) I can teach you how to spot them and beat them.
i think the late 2010s & early 2020s revealed to a lot of people that grifting is super common, but this has resulted in a kind of overcorrection of grifting paranoia. everyone always fears someone is trying to sell them something. and tapping into that grifting paranoia can also be a kind of grift
November 24, 2025 at 6:44 PM
everyone's grifting you but if you give me six easy payments of $199.99 (down from $399!) I can teach you how to spot them and beat them.
american psycho if patrick bateman were a pornstar: "Impressive, very nice. Let's see Paul Allen's cock."
November 24, 2025 at 5:55 AM
american psycho if patrick bateman were a pornstar: "Impressive, very nice. Let's see Paul Allen's cock."
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Reposting this one for no specific reason at all, but if his record on trans issues isn't enough to convince people not to vote for him, maybe this will
As I’ve said in the past, if the Democrats want to maintain a country that is nominally democratic, and not an outright oligarchy run by fascists and business, they must break with the Californian neo liberals. Newsom is speed running a techno fascist fever dream.
November 23, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Reposting this one for no specific reason at all, but if his record on trans issues isn't enough to convince people not to vote for him, maybe this will
Few things are more ephemerally terrifying than being a nobody on this app, opening it, and seeing "30+" on my notifications bell. Like "oh did I fuck up? Oh no people just liked my cuttlefish facts phew"
November 21, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Few things are more ephemerally terrifying than being a nobody on this app, opening it, and seeing "30+" on my notifications bell. Like "oh did I fuck up? Oh no people just liked my cuttlefish facts phew"
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Evergreen tweet.
Pour one out for the legal reporters in your life, as they are about to lose their evenings
November 20, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Evergreen tweet.
i need somebody to explain to me what "coworker music" is because i can't tell if it's supposed to be oversaturated mainstream hits, or if it's supposed to be ungodly arcane slo garbage made by a guy with 11 genuine fans and 3 million hate followers on instagram and i see it used both ways.
November 20, 2025 at 5:10 AM
i need somebody to explain to me what "coworker music" is because i can't tell if it's supposed to be oversaturated mainstream hits, or if it's supposed to be ungodly arcane slo garbage made by a guy with 11 genuine fans and 3 million hate followers on instagram and i see it used both ways.
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I was a temp for Santa Barbara Tax Products Group one season, which is one of five companies that help small tax business get the supplies then need (ie checks, forms, fund routing, etc)
I saw one person pay $1200 of the $1700 they received to their tax preparer
I saw one person pay $1200 of the $1700 they received to their tax preparer
As someone who works in taxes, be *damn careful* with small tax services. Some, not most but enough to warn about, will just make up credits either to scam you or try to bloat your refund so you come back next year.
Always get a copy of your return and make sure it's been signed by the preparer.
Always get a copy of your return and make sure it's been signed by the preparer.
November 19, 2025 at 5:32 AM
I was a temp for Santa Barbara Tax Products Group one season, which is one of five companies that help small tax business get the supplies then need (ie checks, forms, fund routing, etc)
I saw one person pay $1200 of the $1700 they received to their tax preparer
I saw one person pay $1200 of the $1700 they received to their tax preparer
There's an ongoing mass invasion of recolored cartoon characters happening on Tumblr. starte with Red Marge and now it's exploded to the point that we got fucking Coral Bojack and Green Bunty. It's getting dire over there.
November 18, 2025 at 4:59 AM
There's an ongoing mass invasion of recolored cartoon characters happening on Tumblr. starte with Red Marge and now it's exploded to the point that we got fucking Coral Bojack and Green Bunty. It's getting dire over there.
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And no, the Navy absolutely did NOT mention this as a possibility at all while I was separated
Medical said to get documentation for the disability benefits but they made it sound like only the 100% rated folks got the free care
Medical said to get documentation for the disability benefits but they made it sound like only the 100% rated folks got the free care
For all the shit given about the VA by civilians and vets alike, I cannot stress enough how much being covered under that with free care for the rest of my life radicalized me for how we could have this for EVERYONE if the government really wanted to
The only thing worse than health insurance in America is not having health insurance.
November 17, 2025 at 2:01 AM
And no, the Navy absolutely did NOT mention this as a possibility at all while I was separated
Medical said to get documentation for the disability benefits but they made it sound like only the 100% rated folks got the free care
Medical said to get documentation for the disability benefits but they made it sound like only the 100% rated folks got the free care
Oh i gotta save this for posterity
November 15, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Oh i gotta save this for posterity
if i had a nickel for every time raven symone tried to whitewash a sexual predator on her platform i'd have two nickels but it's disturbing that it happened twice.
November 15, 2025 at 5:42 PM
if i had a nickel for every time raven symone tried to whitewash a sexual predator on her platform i'd have two nickels but it's disturbing that it happened twice.
Fivefold Daily Puzzle #2 (Nov 12, 2025) solved in 1:22 with 0 hints! fivefold.ca
November 13, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Fivefold Daily Puzzle #2 (Nov 12, 2025) solved in 1:22 with 0 hints! fivefold.ca
give it a week before somebody fucking dies from this. AT MOST.
Waymo is officially taking its Driver program into the fast lane by offering freeway rides for the first time in three major cities.
Waymo Will Finally Let Its Cars Take The Freeway
Waymo hits a milestone as it officially announces the intent to offer freeway rides for the first time ever in three major cities across the U.S.
insideevs.com
November 13, 2025 at 1:41 AM
give it a week before somebody fucking dies from this. AT MOST.
The art of headlines is dead, they had the chance to use "MoveOn tells Schumer to Move On" but didn't.
#GVerse MoveOn calls for Chuck Schumer @schumer.senate.gov to step down from leadership.
“Around 80% of MoveOn members that the group surveyed said that Schumer should quit his leadership position.”
It is time to let someone else take the wheel & lead!
“Around 80% of MoveOn members that the group surveyed said that Schumer should quit his leadership position.”
It is time to let someone else take the wheel & lead!
Progressive group MoveOn calls on Schumer to step aside
"Inexplicably, some Senate Democrats, under Leader Schumer's watch, decided to surrender."
www.axios.com
November 11, 2025 at 9:43 PM
The art of headlines is dead, they had the chance to use "MoveOn tells Schumer to Move On" but didn't.
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oh no am i the repost man
November 11, 2025 at 9:22 PM
oh no am i the repost man
star trek IV if it was even cooler than it already was
November 11, 2025 at 9:14 PM
star trek IV if it was even cooler than it already was
defector and traitor are too gentle a name for those senators we gotta start calling them quislings.
November 11, 2025 at 6:16 AM
defector and traitor are too gentle a name for those senators we gotta start calling them quislings.
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I have anxious disaster brain from navigating a lifetime of disasters, and I genuinely hate how it keeps being proven useful and correct.
November 10, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I have anxious disaster brain from navigating a lifetime of disasters, and I genuinely hate how it keeps being proven useful and correct.
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the amount of people who will say something like "they went to tech so you know they're smart"
YALL
math science engineering is a certain kind of skill that some ppl study but lolll plz do not defer to stem folks on all the things, just on stem things
YALL
math science engineering is a certain kind of skill that some ppl study but lolll plz do not defer to stem folks on all the things, just on stem things
November 10, 2025 at 4:01 PM
the amount of people who will say something like "they went to tech so you know they're smart"
YALL
math science engineering is a certain kind of skill that some ppl study but lolll plz do not defer to stem folks on all the things, just on stem things
YALL
math science engineering is a certain kind of skill that some ppl study but lolll plz do not defer to stem folks on all the things, just on stem things
yeah this one's not even funny
November 9, 2025 at 12:20 AM
yeah this one's not even funny
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Got a treasure in the mail today
November 8, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Got a treasure in the mail today