Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
@evanbernick.bsky.social
Associate Prof at Northern Illinois University College of Law. Constitutional law, criminal law, abolition, philosophy, hoops, puppies (esp. Argo the Floof). “Mildly Sephirothic at worst.” He/him.
here’s the thing about that, from the state department’s own website.
December 4, 2025 at 1:44 PM
here’s the thing about that, from the state department’s own website.
Sources say sources be soft
Sources say Chris Paul had several meetings recently with Clippers officials regarding their concerns with his approach.
There was a request for him to stop with the “locker room lawyering.”
🔗: www.nytimes.com/athletic/686...
There was a request for him to stop with the “locker room lawyering.”
🔗: www.nytimes.com/athletic/686...
December 4, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Sources say sources be soft
“hey where did that escar go?”
It was not quite the Louvre heist, but for a village in northeastern France, the recent theft of more than $100,000 worth of escargot from a local farm, just as prime holiday snail-eating season begins, was pretty close.
Snail Theft Hits France Before Holiday Rush
Shop owners say the thieves who took 990 pounds of snails must have been escargot cognoscenti.
nyti.ms
December 4, 2025 at 1:11 PM
“hey where did that escar go?”
Lionel Hutz’s finest moment:
Does this sound like a man who had “all he could eat”?
Does this sound like a man who had “all he could eat”?
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
December 4, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Lionel Hutz’s finest moment:
Does this sound like a man who had “all he could eat”?
Does this sound like a man who had “all he could eat”?
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
November 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Mrs. Simpson what did you and your husband do
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Simpson you're under oath."
"We drove around until 3:00
Looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldnt find one?"
"We went fishing"
HECC
December 4, 2025 at 12:42 PM
HECC
Plus size modelo
December 4, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Plus size modelo
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
hey big bro u soft
December 4, 2025 at 2:05 AM
hey big bro u soft
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
December 3, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Stay masculine Pete you got this
MORE Breaking on MS NOW: Pete Hegseth refused an interview request for the Pentagon Inspector General's investigation into Signalgate, according to two sources who read and were briefed on report.
Hegseth would not turn over his phone, a source who read the report told MS NOW.
Hegseth would not turn over his phone, a source who read the report told MS NOW.
Breaking on MS NOW: The Signalgate report contradicts Pete Hegseth's claims he did nothing wrong. It shows he "violated policy by using a non-approved device," a source who read the report says.
Hegseth failed to preserve records. The report says he put the operations and service people at risk.
Hegseth failed to preserve records. The report says he put the operations and service people at risk.
December 3, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Stay masculine Pete you got this
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Ain’t nothing but a sno dog pawty
December 3, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Ain’t nothing but a sno dog pawty
Had to check the date on this. Yes, current year.
Just in: Giannis Antetokounmpo and his agent Alex Saratsis have started conversations with the Milwaukee Bucks about the two-time NBA MVP's future – and discussing whether his best fit is staying or elsewhere, sources tell ESPN. A resolution is expected in the coming weeks.
December 3, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Had to check the date on this. Yes, current year.
this, but the opposite
John Waters names Eddington the best movie of 2025: "If you don’t like this film, I hate you.”
John Waters’ Top 10 Films of 2025 Include Eddington, Final Destination Bloodlines, Sirāt & More
One of our favorite traditions in best-of-the-year festivities is a lineup that tends to find a more interesting path than any guilds or critics groups. The wonderfully eccentric John Waters, whose ta...
thefilmstage.com
December 3, 2025 at 9:21 PM
this, but the opposite
wolf stalk, bear pounce, deer observe
December 3, 2025 at 8:53 PM
wolf stalk, bear pounce, deer observe
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Comes originally from cops describing shooting people twice in rapid succession, migrated to descriptions of second strikes against medics/personnel aiding initial strike victims.
December 3, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Comes originally from cops describing shooting people twice in rapid succession, migrated to descriptions of second strikes against medics/personnel aiding initial strike victims.
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
The weather is cooler, so there are more crazy dog runs.
November 17, 2025 at 11:07 PM
The weather is cooler, so there are more crazy dog runs.
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Reading old court transcripts and, I mean, whomst
December 3, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Reading old court transcripts and, I mean, whomst
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
*ok but what did he repost let’s see*
**ok that’s very bad**
**ok that’s very bad**
December 3, 2025 at 12:57 PM
*ok but what did he repost let’s see*
**ok that’s very bad**
**ok that’s very bad**
It’s not anywhere close to where we need to be, but the fact that the admin is not unapologetically defending murder but denying/evading responsibility isn’t nothing either. That’s not where we were a week ago.
December 3, 2025 at 1:49 PM
It’s not anywhere close to where we need to be, but the fact that the admin is not unapologetically defending murder but denying/evading responsibility isn’t nothing either. That’s not where we were a week ago.
Ain’t nothing but a sno dog pawty
December 3, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Ain’t nothing but a sno dog pawty
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Today marks one year since the Dec. 3, 2024 martial law declaration that rocked South Korea and still reverberates today. What’s on my mind today is the grit of South Koreans who rushed to the National Assembly that night, in freezing weather, to demand a return to democratic government.
December 3, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Today marks one year since the Dec. 3, 2024 martial law declaration that rocked South Korea and still reverberates today. What’s on my mind today is the grit of South Koreans who rushed to the National Assembly that night, in freezing weather, to demand a return to democratic government.
*ok but what did he repost let’s see*
**ok that’s very bad**
**ok that’s very bad**
December 3, 2025 at 12:57 PM
*ok but what did he repost let’s see*
**ok that’s very bad**
**ok that’s very bad**
Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
This is my favorite bit. Hilarious for a bunch of reasons:
December 3, 2025 at 12:33 PM
This is my favorite bit. Hilarious for a bunch of reasons: