Pinned
Huey
@hueycallison.bsky.social
· Jul 3
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUAExcruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications wha...
www.youtube.com
I think CNN has reached the point where replacing all of their programming with just this on a loop would be an improvement.
And every once in a while, you could turn it on for two minutes, think "yup, that's it", and then forget about it again for a few months.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U4H...
And every once in a while, you could turn it on for two minutes, think "yup, that's it", and then forget about it again for a few months.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U4H...
What, and I cannot stress this enough, the actual fuck
Marco Rubio ordered diplomats to return to using Times New Roman font in official communications, calling his predecessor's decision to adopt Calibri a “wasteful” diversity move
Rubio Stages Font Coup: Times New Roman Ousts Calibri
The secretary of state called it a "wasteful" diversity move, according to an internal department cable seen by Reuters.
www.huffpost.com
December 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
What, and I cannot stress this enough, the actual fuck
From the perspective of having worked in healthcare IT: okay, suppose we are going to combine the most evil part of health insurance with the dumbest part of computer science? What could go wrong?
I predict there are two obvious failure modes, one that occurs instantly and prompts the second.
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I predict there are two obvious failure modes, one that occurs instantly and prompts the second.
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"Starting Jan. 1, in six states selected to take part in a federal pilot program, traditional Medicare recipients will face a new hurdle to get certain procedures covered --
private AI companies that get paid based on how many claims they deny..."
www.kuow.org/stories/thou...
private AI companies that get paid based on how many claims they deny..."
www.kuow.org/stories/thou...
Thousands of Washington state Medicare users could soon have claims denied by AI
Starting Jan. 1, traditional Medicare recipients in Washington state will face a new hurdle to get certain procedures covered — private AI companies that get paid based on how many claims they deny.
www.kuow.org
December 8, 2025 at 8:49 PM
From the perspective of having worked in healthcare IT: okay, suppose we are going to combine the most evil part of health insurance with the dumbest part of computer science? What could go wrong?
I predict there are two obvious failure modes, one that occurs instantly and prompts the second.
1/2
I predict there are two obvious failure modes, one that occurs instantly and prompts the second.
1/2
"Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars, LOTR, or Marvel."
...I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that's so.
...I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that's so.
December 7, 2025 at 9:22 PM
"Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars, LOTR, or Marvel."
...I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that's so.
...I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that's so.
Just returned from a dinner party where this was served, and it was amazing:
zestfulkitchen.com/martini-chic...
zestfulkitchen.com/martini-chic...
Martini Chicken
Love a dirty martini? Turn it into a chicken dinner with this Martini Chicken recipe featuring olives, cocktail onions, rosemary and lemon.
zestfulkitchen.com
December 7, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Just returned from a dinner party where this was served, and it was amazing:
zestfulkitchen.com/martini-chic...
zestfulkitchen.com/martini-chic...
They say that the first casualty of war is the truth, but while that's correct in a broad sense, the IMMEDIATE first casualty is the Chili's being open. Motherfuckers had best stock up on the baby back ribs beforehand
these stupid assholes think they’re going to be able to have a firefight in the morning, walk away from a cool explosion at lunch and take the family out to chili’s for dinner and I cannot stress enough that is not what civil war looks like
that's cool, man, but have you tried the taste of a refreshing matcha latte
December 6, 2025 at 10:23 PM
They say that the first casualty of war is the truth, but while that's correct in a broad sense, the IMMEDIATE first casualty is the Chili's being open. Motherfuckers had best stock up on the baby back ribs beforehand
It seems weird that the party divisions in my childhood were "lower taxes, less regulation" vs. "some regulations are good actually, and also we kinda need a way to pay for this stuff SOMEHOW" and now they seem so wildly different.
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December 5, 2025 at 5:55 PM
It seems weird that the party divisions in my childhood were "lower taxes, less regulation" vs. "some regulations are good actually, and also we kinda need a way to pay for this stuff SOMEHOW" and now they seem so wildly different.
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This is a perfect description of a Westinghouse flat screen television
more broadly, this is the hazard of our modern world: devices that pretend to be a simple machine with one job and are actually computers with firmware and the firmware was written by whacking the keyboard with dildos
December 5, 2025 at 2:06 AM
This is a perfect description of a Westinghouse flat screen television
Colin. You'll never convince me that guy wasn't on crank all the time.
December 4, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Colin. You'll never convince me that guy wasn't on crank all the time.
This could go either way. On one hand, K-pop Demon Hunters was cool; on the other, I will knife-fight you before I let you explain who "Mr Beast" is or why I should give a shit about him.
Year-end critics’ lists exist for people to fight over, so I’m happy when people complain about them. But the complaint I will never get is, “I’ve never heard of most of these movies/albums/shows.” Yes, and? Why be mad about learning about stuff you didn’t know before from the news?
December 3, 2025 at 12:14 AM
This could go either way. On one hand, K-pop Demon Hunters was cool; on the other, I will knife-fight you before I let you explain who "Mr Beast" is or why I should give a shit about him.
One of the biggest lessons the infantry teaches is that you and everything you own being cold and wet and knowing there's no plan to address that in the next week is about as miserable as you can get in peacetime.
December 2, 2025 at 7:18 AM
One of the biggest lessons the infantry teaches is that you and everything you own being cold and wet and knowing there's no plan to address that in the next week is about as miserable as you can get in peacetime.
THE MURDERBOT
Rocks glass, rocks:
-1-1/2oz cheap bourbon
-1oz Luxardo
-1/2oz Dolin Genepy
-fill with Fresca
-garnish with maraschino cherry
It sounds like a weird collection of parts, but deceptively, tastes sweet and smooth.
Serve with buttered popcorn and a Murderbot episode.
Rocks glass, rocks:
-1-1/2oz cheap bourbon
-1oz Luxardo
-1/2oz Dolin Genepy
-fill with Fresca
-garnish with maraschino cherry
It sounds like a weird collection of parts, but deceptively, tastes sweet and smooth.
Serve with buttered popcorn and a Murderbot episode.
December 2, 2025 at 2:31 AM
THE MURDERBOT
Rocks glass, rocks:
-1-1/2oz cheap bourbon
-1oz Luxardo
-1/2oz Dolin Genepy
-fill with Fresca
-garnish with maraschino cherry
It sounds like a weird collection of parts, but deceptively, tastes sweet and smooth.
Serve with buttered popcorn and a Murderbot episode.
Rocks glass, rocks:
-1-1/2oz cheap bourbon
-1oz Luxardo
-1/2oz Dolin Genepy
-fill with Fresca
-garnish with maraschino cherry
It sounds like a weird collection of parts, but deceptively, tastes sweet and smooth.
Serve with buttered popcorn and a Murderbot episode.
In the midwest, the devout look down on the "Christmas-and-Easter religious" but I don't think enough is said about the fans that only get to be happy, like, once every twenty years or so.
December 1, 2025 at 7:28 PM
In the midwest, the devout look down on the "Christmas-and-Easter religious" but I don't think enough is said about the fans that only get to be happy, like, once every twenty years or so.
The TV is just kinda on in the background while we do other stuff, but I coulda swore I heard somebody say that the Bears were the #1 seed in the NFC ETHEL FETCH MY MEDICINAL MALORT I'M GETTIN THE VAPORS
December 1, 2025 at 12:59 AM
The TV is just kinda on in the background while we do other stuff, but I coulda swore I heard somebody say that the Bears were the #1 seed in the NFC ETHEL FETCH MY MEDICINAL MALORT I'M GETTIN THE VAPORS
After my grandmother died, I found a bundle containing every single letter I'd ever written to her, and being one of the designated holding-it-together people, I had to excuse myself to the back bathroom so no one could see me crying like a three-year-old with skinned knees.
Cleaning out a closet and I found all these letters that my parents saved, that I wrote home from college my freshman year. Apparently my standing joke was to make up names for them.
November 30, 2025 at 8:09 PM
After my grandmother died, I found a bundle containing every single letter I'd ever written to her, and being one of the designated holding-it-together people, I had to excuse myself to the back bathroom so no one could see me crying like a three-year-old with skinned knees.
It's amazing to me how large the political bloc in the USA is that's summed up as rage that somewhere, some poor person is getting some free thing from the government.
I know a lot of that is just a proxy for racism, sexism, and other bigotries, but Jesus Christ people, fix your hearts or die.
I know a lot of that is just a proxy for racism, sexism, and other bigotries, but Jesus Christ people, fix your hearts or die.
November 30, 2025 at 5:49 AM
It's amazing to me how large the political bloc in the USA is that's summed up as rage that somewhere, some poor person is getting some free thing from the government.
I know a lot of that is just a proxy for racism, sexism, and other bigotries, but Jesus Christ people, fix your hearts or die.
I know a lot of that is just a proxy for racism, sexism, and other bigotries, but Jesus Christ people, fix your hearts or die.
In fairness, no one could have possibly seen this coming.
November 30, 2025 at 3:56 AM
In fairness, no one could have possibly seen this coming.
The player profile of Turbo Richard was sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods and I would like to reiterate that I do not currently smell burnt toast and once again ask if there are other symptoms to watch for.
November 29, 2025 at 8:13 PM
The player profile of Turbo Richard was sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods and I would like to reiterate that I do not currently smell burnt toast and once again ask if there are other symptoms to watch for.
Reposted by Huey
Exactly 80 years ago tomorrow (Nov. 30, 1945), German submarine commander Heinz-Wilhelm Eck and two of his former subordinates on the U-852 were shot by Allies in Hamburg for killing the survivors of a ship they had sunk. Pete Hagueseth should be very worried. www.executedtoday.com/2009/11/30/1...
November 29, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Exactly 80 years ago tomorrow (Nov. 30, 1945), German submarine commander Heinz-Wilhelm Eck and two of his former subordinates on the U-852 were shot by Allies in Hamburg for killing the survivors of a ship they had sunk. Pete Hagueseth should be very worried. www.executedtoday.com/2009/11/30/1...
I am not currently smelling burnt toast. Is there some other symptom I should be looking for?
Tomorrow Grimes will DJ a livestream of immortality influencer Bryan Johnson tripping on shrooms to determine its effect on longevity. Mr. Beast and the CEO of Salesforce will be there too.
Grimes DJing Immortality Influencer's Shroom Trip With Special Guest Mr. Beast
Grimes is a fan of Bryan Johnson, the multimillionaire and immortality influencer who spends his time trying to fight death. He is perhaps best known for undergoing plasma transfusions with donations ...
stereogum.com
November 29, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I am not currently smelling burnt toast. Is there some other symptom I should be looking for?
The guys on the Arizona game just said that the "Big Noon Kickoff" starts at 9 and goddammit we used to live in a society
November 29, 2025 at 4:55 AM
The guys on the Arizona game just said that the "Big Noon Kickoff" starts at 9 and goddammit we used to live in a society
In fairness, he is likely correct that assimilation is impossible for child soldiers the CIA trained to be sociopathic killing machines, but wouldn't a simpler solution be "well let's stop doing THAT then"?
Stephen Miller is now arguing that assimilation is fundamentally impossible and that certain cultures are not compatible with Western civilization
November 29, 2025 at 12:52 AM
In fairness, he is likely correct that assimilation is impossible for child soldiers the CIA trained to be sociopathic killing machines, but wouldn't a simpler solution be "well let's stop doing THAT then"?
We've just eaten the first test slices of this, with whipped cream and a sparkling rose, gonna call this a winner.
New! A dream of a pumpkin basque cheesecake that rewards last-minute planners with speed and ease. Almost halfway to pumpkin pie in flavor yet still a basque cheesecake, burnished edges and sunken-by-design center and all.
smittenkitchen.com/2025/11/pump...
smittenkitchen.com/2025/11/pump...
November 27, 2025 at 3:10 AM
We've just eaten the first test slices of this, with whipped cream and a sparkling rose, gonna call this a winner.
OMFG someone finally rescued this horrible song and it's MAJESTIC I cannot stress this enough you got to pick it up pick it up pick it up
Society is a construct. You can just ask someone to do a ska cover of Faith of the Heart and they'll say "$300 please" and you give it to them and then you have it.
Everyone, give
@skatunenetwork.bsky.social
your money. They deserve it.
Everyone, give
@skatunenetwork.bsky.social
your money. They deserve it.
November 27, 2025 at 2:27 AM
OMFG someone finally rescued this horrible song and it's MAJESTIC I cannot stress this enough you got to pick it up pick it up pick it up
"What could go wrong?" is this administration's lodestar, not in the jokey shitposting sense, but in a genuine near-total incompetence and lack of awareness of anything that could go wrong, like a child whose parents are F1 fans and now constantly repeats "leave me alone, I know what I'm doing".
"Weeks of watching Florida insurance lawyer Lindsey Halligan flail around like a toddler trying to teach calculus should serve as a warning about the perils of crowdsourcing legal research to literal randos on the internet. *But it won’t.*" — @lizdye.bsky.social
Bill Pulte and Ed Martin's shitposting legal strategy
It's backfired so spectacularly that now *they're* the ones being investigated.
www.publicnotice.co
November 26, 2025 at 8:00 PM
"What could go wrong?" is this administration's lodestar, not in the jokey shitposting sense, but in a genuine near-total incompetence and lack of awareness of anything that could go wrong, like a child whose parents are F1 fans and now constantly repeats "leave me alone, I know what I'm doing".
IT'S OKAY GUYS I GOT THIS
"Trump Republican" is an anagram for:
-Peculiar Burnt PM
-Rump Nub Particle
-Burnt Ump Replica
-Mr. Burp Inculpate
-Purple Cumin Brat
-Bra Crumple Input
-Urban Pulp Metric
-Cunt Ripple Umbra
-Burlap Rectum Pin
-Ecru Print Pablum
-Lamb Price Upturn
-Bairn Rectum Pulp
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"Trump Republican" is an anagram for:
-Peculiar Burnt PM
-Rump Nub Particle
-Burnt Ump Replica
-Mr. Burp Inculpate
-Purple Cumin Brat
-Bra Crumple Input
-Urban Pulp Metric
-Cunt Ripple Umbra
-Burlap Rectum Pin
-Ecru Print Pablum
-Lamb Price Upturn
-Bairn Rectum Pulp
1/2
November 26, 2025 at 4:26 PM
IT'S OKAY GUYS I GOT THIS
"Trump Republican" is an anagram for:
-Peculiar Burnt PM
-Rump Nub Particle
-Burnt Ump Replica
-Mr. Burp Inculpate
-Purple Cumin Brat
-Bra Crumple Input
-Urban Pulp Metric
-Cunt Ripple Umbra
-Burlap Rectum Pin
-Ecru Print Pablum
-Lamb Price Upturn
-Bairn Rectum Pulp
1/2
"Trump Republican" is an anagram for:
-Peculiar Burnt PM
-Rump Nub Particle
-Burnt Ump Replica
-Mr. Burp Inculpate
-Purple Cumin Brat
-Bra Crumple Input
-Urban Pulp Metric
-Cunt Ripple Umbra
-Burlap Rectum Pin
-Ecru Print Pablum
-Lamb Price Upturn
-Bairn Rectum Pulp
1/2