functional moron
fiveburger.bsky.social
functional moron
@fiveburger.bsky.social
timberwolvespilled

he/him
Pinned
this is an intrusive thought i had, please do not mistake it for a deeply held belief
i didn’t even look up the price of bitcoin once this whole weekend
November 24, 2025 at 5:47 AM
do people all over the world lose their minds for the chance to get a garbage t shirt for free? is that an american sickness or a human one?
November 24, 2025 at 3:15 AM
lol okay cmon now
Tech on Brooks for yelling at the ref that he missed a delay of game violation. Brooks was right but he yelled so loud that we could hear it in our seats at the top of lower bowl.
November 24, 2025 at 3:11 AM
so are the thunder going to break the season wins record? at what point do we start seriously thinking about that lol
November 24, 2025 at 2:16 AM
i think anyone who doesn't support the somali community in minneapolis should leave the city and move to the bottom of lake superior so we can all be better off
November 24, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Reposted by functional moron
the muslim coalition of isaiah organized a potluck this afternoon at karmel mall for minnesotans to stand together against trump’s attacks on the somali community. a community leader named ali says “we are not here by accident. we are here to stay forever.”
November 24, 2025 at 1:05 AM
it rocks that NAW is averaging 19 points a game on 60% true shooting.
November 24, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Reposted by functional moron
my man NAW knows what's up
Insane in-arena entertainment in Atlanta. They asked a lady to name as many phone apps as she could in 24 seconds and she just rattled off names of restaurants. Then they showed a video of nikeil Alexander Walker doing the same thing and the first apps he said were messages, notes and “settings”
November 24, 2025 at 12:39 AM
god i miss him
Insane in-arena entertainment in Atlanta. They asked a lady to name as many phone apps as she could in 24 seconds and she just rattled off names of restaurants. Then they showed a video of nikeil Alexander Walker doing the same thing and the first apps he said were messages, notes and “settings”
November 24, 2025 at 1:39 AM
the lynx getting the second draft pick is basically the second best outcome i could have hoped for i think.
November 23, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Reposted by functional moron
(to the tune of This Land Is Your Land) Sundays were made for smoking weed
November 23, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Reposted by functional moron
american oligarchs uniformly abandoned a lifetime of democratic support because it was easier for them to believe that “based meme” accounts run by czechoslovakian teens were proof of a mass populist movement in service to elon musk than face the hard truth that most people hate their fucking guts
November 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Reposted by functional moron
Yep, one of the biggest drivers of the elite panic around “wokeness” was the increasing prominence of Black people and particularly Black women in their fields and we’re seeing that coalition rewarded with the targeting of Black workers.
Since February, according to my latest analysis, almost 600,000 Black women have been economically sidelined. The November 20, 2025, Jobs Report makes clear this isn’t a blip. It’s a structural crisis. That is not a recovery. It is a redistribution of opportunity.
The exit economy is here. Black Women are paying the highest price | Fortune
This isn’t a blip. It’s a structural crisis. And it's not a recovery, it's a redistribution of opportunity.
fortune.com
November 23, 2025 at 3:12 PM
feeling pretty good about this one so far
gonna try and sneak in my craziest prediction for next year at a time where people won’t notice it. i’ve decided that the Pistons are going to make the finals
November 23, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Reposted by functional moron
sorry that i’m gonna be posting about lord of the rings too much but when frodo said “i wish it need not have happened in my time” and gandalf said “so do i and so do all men who live to see such times. all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us” it really hit
June 29, 2025 at 3:23 PM
this afternoon i am going to watch, for the first time since 2001, the major motion picture Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. i’m excited.
November 22, 2025 at 5:08 PM
missed the release of this seasons epm numbers but julius randle is 9th in the nba lol
November 22, 2025 at 3:54 PM
man for some reason i am thinking today about how easy it would be to win a game when you are up 8 points with 50 seconds left and have just forced your opponent to miss a shot
November 22, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Reposted by functional moron
charisma is the one thing all the angry little nerds can’t build and can’t buy no matter how rich they get or how much of society they destroy and I just think that’s beautiful
November 22, 2025 at 1:12 AM
awoooooooo
Looking at possible snow in Minnesota and the Twin Cities on Tuesday evening through early Wednesday - switching from rain earlier in the day Tuesday. Then winter seems to begin - at least for the time being. Snow totals depend on changeover time+stormtrack, but 2-3 slushy inches possible. #mnwx
November 22, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Reposted by functional moron
Folks, Zohran Mamdani—smart guy, reminds me of a young me—you know what he said, I told him, “Zohran, I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna say the shahada,” and he said to me “Mr. President, you should say a third line confirming your belief in the wilayat of Ali,” should we do it folks? Should we say it?
November 22, 2025 at 1:31 AM
November 22, 2025 at 5:53 AM
this is my attempt at the most straightforward explanation of why the wolves are demolishing every bad team, losing bad to every good team, and just barely lost to a mediocre team
so far the wolves are a team that seems like they will be giving their best shot at it in every game. this is both a positive and negative post i think
November 22, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Reposted by functional moron
'are the minnesota timberwolves good'-the greatest thread in history of forums, closed after 174,889,782 pages of debate when the heat death of the universe occurred
November 22, 2025 at 4:48 AM
i’m sorry, because this is going to be meaner than i mean it to me, but if after this specific loss you are specifically mad about the missed delay of game call you are a nerd pushing up your glasses and waving a rule book around
November 22, 2025 at 4:49 AM