Your friendly neighborhood Eli
@elithek.bsky.social
Born & raised in the U.S. Moved to Ireland in 2024 (permanently if I'm lucky). The world is better when we let people be who they are & don't crap on their joy.
If you're planning to follow me to DM me, don't bother.
If you're planning to follow me to DM me, don't bother.
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
November 14, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I still think it’s funny that almost all of us have one hand that’s just like yeah I don’t really know how to do anything 🤷♂️
November 14, 2025 at 3:40 PM
I still think it’s funny that almost all of us have one hand that’s just like yeah I don’t really know how to do anything 🤷♂️
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I just learned that the phrase "See you later, alligator" evolved from "pterodacTTYL"!
November 14, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I just learned that the phrase "See you later, alligator" evolved from "pterodacTTYL"!
November 14, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
There are so SO many things that make me want to vomit about the Gaetz news but the fact the young girl was homeless makes me apoplectic. He had the connections and ability to find her housing with one phone call. Instead, he victimized her and saw her vulnerability as good for him. Sick MFer.
November 13, 2025 at 11:32 PM
There are so SO many things that make me want to vomit about the Gaetz news but the fact the young girl was homeless makes me apoplectic. He had the connections and ability to find her housing with one phone call. Instead, he victimized her and saw her vulnerability as good for him. Sick MFer.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Favorite new reaction image
November 14, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Favorite new reaction image
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
To all the weirdos defending Megyn Kelly: 15 year olds are underage, and that is statutory rape.
Pretty simple
Pretty simple
November 14, 2025 at 3:27 AM
To all the weirdos defending Megyn Kelly: 15 year olds are underage, and that is statutory rape.
Pretty simple
Pretty simple
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Everything so stupid but I have faith it can get stupider
November 14, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Everything so stupid but I have faith it can get stupider
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Your only possible response, when confronted with someone saying this, is to wait for them to finish, firmly state “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” and leave the interview immediately.
Megyn Kelly: "I know somebody very close to this case…Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile…He was into the barely legal type, like he liked 15 year old girls…He wasn't into like 8 year olds…There's a difference between a 15 year old and a 5 year old."
November 13, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Your only possible response, when confronted with someone saying this, is to wait for them to finish, firmly state “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” and leave the interview immediately.
So be it. If it's drug-free whoring only, it's drug-free whoring only. 🤷🏻♂️
November 13, 2025 at 7:53 AM
So be it. If it's drug-free whoring only, it's drug-free whoring only. 🤷🏻♂️
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I honestly don’t know what to say anymore. It is overwhelmingly clear at this point that the Republican Party has sold its soul to protect a child rapist, led by wealthy ghouls who will never have enough.
There is only one war, now and forever, and it is the class war. There must be consequences.
There is only one war, now and forever, and it is the class war. There must be consequences.
November 13, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I honestly don’t know what to say anymore. It is overwhelmingly clear at this point that the Republican Party has sold its soul to protect a child rapist, led by wealthy ghouls who will never have enough.
There is only one war, now and forever, and it is the class war. There must be consequences.
There is only one war, now and forever, and it is the class war. There must be consequences.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Bondi, Blanche, and Patel all had to have an emergency meeting with Boebert...
These guys are so bad at hiding their guilt. Trump slept with kids. They all know it. www.rawstory.com/lauren-boebe...
These guys are so bad at hiding their guilt. Trump slept with kids. They all know it. www.rawstory.com/lauren-boebe...
Lauren Boebert 'convinced' Epstein conspiracy afoot as Trump pressure backfires
Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) is reportedly "convinced" that there is a conspiracy to cover up files on sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.The lawmaker is one of a handful of Republicans supporting a discharge...
www.rawstory.com
November 13, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Bondi, Blanche, and Patel all had to have an emergency meeting with Boebert...
These guys are so bad at hiding their guilt. Trump slept with kids. They all know it. www.rawstory.com/lauren-boebe...
These guys are so bad at hiding their guilt. Trump slept with kids. They all know it. www.rawstory.com/lauren-boebe...
All the aurora pictures reminded me of a German couple I read about. They traveled to a resort in Norway, above the Arctic Circle, to see the midnight sun, only to be sorely disappointed to find that it's the same sun they see in Germany, at night. I would love to know what they were expecting.
November 12, 2025 at 7:50 AM
All the aurora pictures reminded me of a German couple I read about. They traveled to a resort in Norway, above the Arctic Circle, to see the midnight sun, only to be sorely disappointed to find that it's the same sun they see in Germany, at night. I would love to know what they were expecting.
You're at Sanford.
I need you at Son.
I need you at Son.
You're at Ren.
I need you at Stimpy.
I need you at Stimpy.
You're at Abbott.
I need you at Costello.
I need you at Costello.
November 11, 2025 at 9:09 PM
You're at Sanford.
I need you at Son.
I need you at Son.
Me, at my third rodeo: Wait... so it's not pronounced like the street in Beverly Hills?
Me, at my second rodeo:
Gen Z bitching about the same things Millennials have gone through for 25 years as if they're new.
November 11, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Me, at my third rodeo: Wait... so it's not pronounced like the street in Beverly Hills?
Prep sucked. The fact that they found and removed a small polyp before it could become a problem did not. Get checked, people!
Ready for my colonoscopy prep!
I know, not the most pleasant thing, but I would much rather have a colonoscopy than colon cancer. If you are 45 and older, get checked!
I know, not the most pleasant thing, but I would much rather have a colonoscopy than colon cancer. If you are 45 and older, get checked!
November 11, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Prep sucked. The fact that they found and removed a small polyp before it could become a problem did not. Get checked, people!
Or, as it's called in Florida, Thursday.
November 10, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Or, as it's called in Florida, Thursday.
The perfect coment doesn't exi-
Rocky Balboa's frozen sides of beef fought harder than Schumer.
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 PM
The perfect coment doesn't exi-
It's nice when someone goes ahead & writes your post for you verbatim & all you have to do is share it.
A glimmer of hope on a dark horizon. I grew up bigoted against gays and same sex marriage, AND I WAS WRONG. If a man can grow up, so can a nation.
Supreme Court rejects call to overturn its decision legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide
The Supreme Court has rejected a call to overturn its landmark decision that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide.
apnews.com
November 10, 2025 at 6:43 PM
It's nice when someone goes ahead & writes your post for you verbatim & all you have to do is share it.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Some thoughts I have on traditional marriage, from my new special “Rini” out next week! (November 19 on YouTube!) Enjoy!
#funny #standup #jokes #STANDUPCOMEDY #comedy
#funny #standup #jokes #STANDUPCOMEDY #comedy
November 10, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Some thoughts I have on traditional marriage, from my new special “Rini” out next week! (November 19 on YouTube!) Enjoy!
#funny #standup #jokes #STANDUPCOMEDY #comedy
#funny #standup #jokes #STANDUPCOMEDY #comedy
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
CUTE JOKE ALERT!
If a pastry chef only gives you 12 items and not 13, you can call that a "baker's doesn't."
CUTE JOKE OVER!
If a pastry chef only gives you 12 items and not 13, you can call that a "baker's doesn't."
CUTE JOKE OVER!
November 10, 2025 at 5:47 PM
CUTE JOKE ALERT!
If a pastry chef only gives you 12 items and not 13, you can call that a "baker's doesn't."
CUTE JOKE OVER!
If a pastry chef only gives you 12 items and not 13, you can call that a "baker's doesn't."
CUTE JOKE OVER!
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
i’m ready for something different than whatever the fuck this is
November 10, 2025 at 12:51 AM
i’m ready for something different than whatever the fuck this is
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
GOP to Senate Dems soon.
a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
ALT: a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 1:16 AM
GOP to Senate Dems soon.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
How come you only hear about last ditch efforts? Shout out to everyone givin' effort on the first few ditches and whatnot.
November 10, 2025 at 2:38 AM
How come you only hear about last ditch efforts? Shout out to everyone givin' effort on the first few ditches and whatnot.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
And this is exactly the BS that the regime is trying to play with making antifa a thing.
#TheAlliedForces
#TheAlliedForces
November 9, 2025 at 1:06 AM
And this is exactly the BS that the regime is trying to play with making antifa a thing.
#TheAlliedForces
#TheAlliedForces