Myq Kaplan
@myqkaplan.bsky.social
I’m a comedian!
New special “Rini” on YouTube 11/19/25:
https://youtu.be/y0uf9i_z-Aw
Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan
More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan
New special “Rini” on YouTube 11/19/25:
https://youtu.be/y0uf9i_z-Aw
Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan
More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan
I hope you can accept these pictures of me doing stand-up.
And if so, why not go further and watch my new comfy special “Rini” on YouTube? Even more there to accept!
Much love all!
#comedy #funny #standup #jokes #standupcomedy
And if so, why not go further and watch my new comfy special “Rini” on YouTube? Even more there to accept!
Much love all!
#comedy #funny #standup #jokes #standupcomedy
December 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I hope you can accept these pictures of me doing stand-up.
And if so, why not go further and watch my new comfy special “Rini” on YouTube? Even more there to accept!
Much love all!
#comedy #funny #standup #jokes #standupcomedy
And if so, why not go further and watch my new comfy special “Rini” on YouTube? Even more there to accept!
Much love all!
#comedy #funny #standup #jokes #standupcomedy
An incestuous dating site called Oedipal Arrangements.
December 23, 2025 at 5:11 PM
An incestuous dating site called Oedipal Arrangements.
I enjoyed watching some episodes of the TV show “Grey's Anatomy" so I picked up the book that inspired it...
It's pretty different.
It's pretty different.
December 23, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I enjoyed watching some episodes of the TV show “Grey's Anatomy" so I picked up the book that inspired it...
It's pretty different.
It's pretty different.
My girlfriend Rini is funny.
Here is an example of Rini being funny.
It’s from my new comedy special that I made with Rini which is on YouTube, called “Rini.”
Enjoy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...
#funny #standup #comedy #jokes #standupcomedy
Here is an example of Rini being funny.
It’s from my new comedy special that I made with Rini which is on YouTube, called “Rini.”
Enjoy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...
#funny #standup #comedy #jokes #standupcomedy
December 23, 2025 at 3:22 PM
My girlfriend Rini is funny.
Here is an example of Rini being funny.
It’s from my new comedy special that I made with Rini which is on YouTube, called “Rini.”
Enjoy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...
#funny #standup #comedy #jokes #standupcomedy
Here is an example of Rini being funny.
It’s from my new comedy special that I made with Rini which is on YouTube, called “Rini.”
Enjoy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...
#funny #standup #comedy #jokes #standupcomedy
Ramona Quimby, Age 52
December 22, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Ramona Quimby, Age 52
The less discussed bright side to the infinite punishment of Sisyphus is that half the time, he's actually just walking down the hill with no rock at all, which sounds like it could be pretty leisurely.
December 22, 2025 at 1:43 PM
The less discussed bright side to the infinite punishment of Sisyphus is that half the time, he's actually just walking down the hill with no rock at all, which sounds like it could be pretty leisurely.
What are we going to do today, Brain?
The same thing we do every day:
Post a pic of me doing stand-up in hopes that people will enjoy and then watch my comedy special “Rini” and come see me live this weekend at The Comedy Club of Lawrence KS!
📸: Moonloop Photo
#standup #comedy #jokes #funny
The same thing we do every day:
Post a pic of me doing stand-up in hopes that people will enjoy and then watch my comedy special “Rini” and come see me live this weekend at The Comedy Club of Lawrence KS!
📸: Moonloop Photo
#standup #comedy #jokes #funny
December 22, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Holiday tip:
Go to CVS
Buy wrapping paper
Don’t use it
Use CVS receipt as wrapping paper
It fits all gifts
You don’t need wrapping paper
Return it
But wait
You can’t
You don’t have the receipt anymore
A modern reboot of the Gift of the Magi
(Bonus: this post is in the lengthy form of a CVS receipt)
Go to CVS
Buy wrapping paper
Don’t use it
Use CVS receipt as wrapping paper
It fits all gifts
You don’t need wrapping paper
Return it
But wait
You can’t
You don’t have the receipt anymore
A modern reboot of the Gift of the Magi
(Bonus: this post is in the lengthy form of a CVS receipt)
December 21, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Holiday tip:
Go to CVS
Buy wrapping paper
Don’t use it
Use CVS receipt as wrapping paper
It fits all gifts
You don’t need wrapping paper
Return it
But wait
You can’t
You don’t have the receipt anymore
A modern reboot of the Gift of the Magi
(Bonus: this post is in the lengthy form of a CVS receipt)
Go to CVS
Buy wrapping paper
Don’t use it
Use CVS receipt as wrapping paper
It fits all gifts
You don’t need wrapping paper
Return it
But wait
You can’t
You don’t have the receipt anymore
A modern reboot of the Gift of the Magi
(Bonus: this post is in the lengthy form of a CVS receipt)
Dear internet,
I wrote a piece this week about this delightful Steven Wright joke:
“Today, I was-
No, that wasn’t me.”
— Steven Wright
I hope you enjoy!
Love,
Myq
I wrote a piece this week about this delightful Steven Wright joke:
“Today, I was-
No, that wasn’t me.”
— Steven Wright
I hope you enjoy!
Love,
Myq
The Only Story That Is: Meditations on a Joke I Love By Steven Wright
The Only Newsletter That Is
open.substack.com
December 21, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Dear internet,
I wrote a piece this week about this delightful Steven Wright joke:
“Today, I was-
No, that wasn’t me.”
— Steven Wright
I hope you enjoy!
Love,
Myq
I wrote a piece this week about this delightful Steven Wright joke:
“Today, I was-
No, that wasn’t me.”
— Steven Wright
I hope you enjoy!
Love,
Myq
I recently watched the movie "Sliding Doors."
But now I'm wondering what would have happened if I hadn't.
But now I'm wondering what would have happened if I hadn't.
December 21, 2025 at 4:38 PM
I recently watched the movie "Sliding Doors."
But now I'm wondering what would have happened if I hadn't.
But now I'm wondering what would have happened if I hadn't.
Weird that "cannot" gets to be one word but willnot doesnot.
December 21, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Weird that "cannot" gets to be one word but willnot doesnot.
Around this time of year, there can be a lot of pressure to show up and act in certain ways.
So I just want to let everyone know that I believe it’s totally acceptable to only jingle SOME of the way.
So I just want to let everyone know that I believe it’s totally acceptable to only jingle SOME of the way.
December 21, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Around this time of year, there can be a lot of pressure to show up and act in certain ways.
So I just want to let everyone know that I believe it’s totally acceptable to only jingle SOME of the way.
So I just want to let everyone know that I believe it’s totally acceptable to only jingle SOME of the way.
Baby it's cold war outside.
December 21, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Baby it's cold war outside.
a lot of buildings
do not have a thirteenth floor
‘cause they're not that tall
do not have a thirteenth floor
‘cause they're not that tall
December 21, 2025 at 4:32 PM
a lot of buildings
do not have a thirteenth floor
‘cause they're not that tall
do not have a thirteenth floor
‘cause they're not that tall
I just read that the State Department is denying visas to people who have worked as fact-checkers.
Is this true? We’ll never know now!
Is this true? We’ll never know now!
December 20, 2025 at 5:20 PM
I just read that the State Department is denying visas to people who have worked as fact-checkers.
Is this true? We’ll never know now!
Is this true? We’ll never know now!
Look it’s a picture of me telling jokes again!
Want to see a MOVING picture of me telling jokes? Watch my special “Rini” on YT!
Want to see a REAL LIFE me telling jokes? Come to The Attic in Columbus tomorrow or Hilarities in Cleveland Sunday or The Comedy Club of Lawrence KS next weekend!
Love!
Want to see a MOVING picture of me telling jokes? Watch my special “Rini” on YT!
Want to see a REAL LIFE me telling jokes? Come to The Attic in Columbus tomorrow or Hilarities in Cleveland Sunday or The Comedy Club of Lawrence KS next weekend!
Love!
December 19, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Look it’s a picture of me telling jokes again!
Want to see a MOVING picture of me telling jokes? Watch my special “Rini” on YT!
Want to see a REAL LIFE me telling jokes? Come to The Attic in Columbus tomorrow or Hilarities in Cleveland Sunday or The Comedy Club of Lawrence KS next weekend!
Love!
Want to see a MOVING picture of me telling jokes? Watch my special “Rini” on YT!
Want to see a REAL LIFE me telling jokes? Come to The Attic in Columbus tomorrow or Hilarities in Cleveland Sunday or The Comedy Club of Lawrence KS next weekend!
Love!
"I loosened it!"
— all the other dudes who tried to pull the sword out of the stone before King Arthur
— all the other dudes who tried to pull the sword out of the stone before King Arthur
December 19, 2025 at 4:28 PM
"I loosened it!"
— all the other dudes who tried to pull the sword out of the stone before King Arthur
— all the other dudes who tried to pull the sword out of the stone before King Arthur
"A picture is worth a thousand words"
— propaganda from Big Hieroglyphics
— propaganda from Big Hieroglyphics
December 19, 2025 at 4:24 PM
"A picture is worth a thousand words"
— propaganda from Big Hieroglyphics
— propaganda from Big Hieroglyphics
A joke!
Enjoy looking at photos of me telling jokes?
Well then you might enjoy watching me tell jokes, too!
My special “Rini” is on YT & you can see me live tonight at Wildcat, Sat at The Attic, Sun at Hilarities, & next weekend at The Comedy Club of Lawrence!
📸: Sam Lee
#comedy #standup #jokes
Enjoy looking at photos of me telling jokes?
Well then you might enjoy watching me tell jokes, too!
My special “Rini” is on YT & you can see me live tonight at Wildcat, Sat at The Attic, Sun at Hilarities, & next weekend at The Comedy Club of Lawrence!
📸: Sam Lee
#comedy #standup #jokes
December 18, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I found this book on a bookshelf at my mom’s home.
December 18, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I found this book on a bookshelf at my mom’s home.
Of all the X-men, probably the ones who most often thought their name was being called when it was the other one are Psylocke and Cyclops.
December 18, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Of all the X-men, probably the ones who most often thought their name was being called when it was the other one are Psylocke and Cyclops.
“What do you do?”
“I’m a standup comedian.”
“Oh like Mrs. Maisel?”
“Yes like Mrs. Maisel”
*a conversation that I had once*
“I’m a standup comedian.”
“Oh like Mrs. Maisel?”
“Yes like Mrs. Maisel”
*a conversation that I had once*
December 18, 2025 at 4:26 PM
“What do you do?”
“I’m a standup comedian.”
“Oh like Mrs. Maisel?”
“Yes like Mrs. Maisel”
*a conversation that I had once*
“I’m a standup comedian.”
“Oh like Mrs. Maisel?”
“Yes like Mrs. Maisel”
*a conversation that I had once*
"It's always darkest before the dawn."
"You mean at night?"
"Yes."
"You mean at night?"
"Yes."
December 18, 2025 at 4:04 PM
"It's always darkest before the dawn."
"You mean at night?"
"Yes."
"You mean at night?"
"Yes."
Was Magnum P.I. just a larger version of a regular P.I.?
December 18, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Was Magnum P.I. just a larger version of a regular P.I.?
All dogs go to heaven, except Cerberus.
December 17, 2025 at 4:13 PM
All dogs go to heaven, except Cerberus.