Captain🇨🇦Obvious
@cptn-obvious.bsky.social
Stating the obvious one Quote Skeet at a time.
All chaps are assless.
December 26, 2024 at 2:21 AM
All chaps are assless.
It’s a great butt.
Me: “Good morning, I love you!”
Wife: “I love you too.”
Me: “Oh sorry. I was talking to your butt.”
Wife: “I love you too.”
Me: “Oh sorry. I was talking to your butt.”
December 3, 2024 at 1:42 PM
It’s a great butt.
FOR THE LAST TIME! STOP POSTING LIKE THIS!
Quit scolding me you’re giving me an erection.
December 3, 2024 at 1:42 PM
FOR THE LAST TIME! STOP POSTING LIKE THIS!
Reposted by Captain🇨🇦Obvious
80% of owning an Apple Watch is using it to find your phone
December 2, 2024 at 3:20 AM
80% of owning an Apple Watch is using it to find your phone
You only have to wait 24 Days, 5 Hours, 17 Minutes, & 15 seconds
Bluesky, please gift wrap our replies for the rest of the holiday season so it can be a sweet surprise whether someone is telling us to die or saying "LOL same"
November 30, 2024 at 11:42 PM
You only have to wait 24 Days, 5 Hours, 17 Minutes, & 15 seconds
Hey
Every woman has some guy in her inbox talking to himself ...😏
November 30, 2024 at 11:31 PM
Hey
Fear of defecating in public
+
Long international flight
= Cheese Gnawing
+
Long international flight
= Cheese Gnawing
November 30, 2024 at 1:02 AM
Fear of defecating in public
+
Long international flight
= Cheese Gnawing
+
Long international flight
= Cheese Gnawing
In this economy?
Get in babe, we’re going to TP & egg the patriarchy’s house.
November 30, 2024 at 12:50 AM
In this economy?
Lubing friends gets awkward
November 30, 2024 at 12:49 AM
Lubing friends gets awkward
Blue or Red, Right or Left doesn’t matter. When you go too far either way you are the same.
Natural selection hard at work!!
November 30, 2024 at 12:41 AM
Blue or Red, Right or Left doesn’t matter. When you go too far either way you are the same.
Reposted by Captain🇨🇦Obvious
My go bag is just pop tarts and whisky.
November 27, 2024 at 2:49 AM
My go bag is just pop tarts and whisky.
Or chew your arm off.
November 26, 2024 at 3:59 PM
Or chew your arm off.
She’ll get around to it.
The time for procrastination is almost here. Not today though, maybe tomorrow.
November 25, 2024 at 11:17 PM
She’ll get around to it.
This is now an anti Tim Hortons account.
November 25, 2024 at 11:16 PM
This is now an anti Tim Hortons account.
If you aren’t having anxiety today, watch this.
November 25, 2024 at 11:11 PM
If you aren’t having anxiety today, watch this.
Boobs>Sports
I was once told by some woman that I only liked sports so men would have sex with me, and I was like, "Honey, that's what these boobs are for."
November 24, 2024 at 4:09 PM
Boobs>Sports
Reposted by Captain🇨🇦Obvious
I was once told by some woman that I only liked sports so men would have sex with me, and I was like, "Honey, that's what these boobs are for."
November 24, 2024 at 4:04 PM
I was once told by some woman that I only liked sports so men would have sex with me, and I was like, "Honey, that's what these boobs are for."
Excuse me. Your epidermis is showing.
November 24, 2024 at 4:04 PM
Excuse me. Your epidermis is showing.
A figure of speech.
No tits were harmed in the making of this post.
No tits were harmed in the making of this post.
I'm working my tits off interacting w people and these mofos have zero posts and 500+ followers. WITCHES
November 24, 2024 at 3:12 AM
A figure of speech.
No tits were harmed in the making of this post.
No tits were harmed in the making of this post.
Only on weekends
If you drink your drink out of the skinny bar straw, you suck dick.
November 24, 2024 at 2:54 AM
Only on weekends
Don’t threaten me with a good time
November 23, 2024 at 10:35 PM
Don’t threaten me with a good time
Charles Moncky, a Baltimore mechanic, invented the monkey wrench around 1858. Moncky's wrench was named using a purposeful misspelling of his name.
Not racist
Not racist
November 23, 2024 at 10:28 PM
Charles Moncky, a Baltimore mechanic, invented the monkey wrench around 1858. Moncky's wrench was named using a purposeful misspelling of his name.
Not racist
Not racist
The loose part
I still don’t understand what part of the monkey the wrench is for.
November 23, 2024 at 10:27 PM
The loose part
