Roast TurkBrie 🍗
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
Roast TurkBrie 🍗
@briesmith.xyz
· Sep 28
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
Well, shit.
Isolated severe thunderstorms are likely across parts of the Southeast/Deep South Tuesday morning into early evening. In the north-central U.S., a storm will bring heavy snow and gusty to high winds over parts of the northern Plains and Upper Midwest Tuesday before impacting the Great Lakes.
November 25, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Well, shit.
Evan just brought me a sketch of a new character she's working on: Detective Turkey, which is a turkey in a deerstalker hat with a magnifying glass and a chocolate bar that solves crimes
November 25, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Evan just brought me a sketch of a new character she's working on: Detective Turkey, which is a turkey in a deerstalker hat with a magnifying glass and a chocolate bar that solves crimes
This was 2019 somehow. Maybe it's time for Thanksgiving Disasters 2?
I recommend the @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social Thanksgiving Disaster episode.
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
Thanksgiving Disasters
Podcast Episode · Shutdown Fullcast · 11/22/2019 · 1h 30m
podcasts.apple.com
November 25, 2025 at 1:06 AM
This was 2019 somehow. Maybe it's time for Thanksgiving Disasters 2?
I am on fucking tilt this evening and I just want it to stop
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
November 25, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I am on fucking tilt this evening and I just want it to stop
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
OK, Compher earned those punches for that check
November 25, 2025 at 12:17 AM
OK, Compher earned those punches for that check
As a clocky trans woman who loves getting compliments on how she’s dressed because it makes her feel pretty, I love when I encounter another clocky trans woman in the wild so I can compliment her outfit or accessories and make her feel pretty without calling attention to her
November 24, 2025 at 10:05 PM
As a clocky trans woman who loves getting compliments on how she’s dressed because it makes her feel pretty, I love when I encounter another clocky trans woman in the wild so I can compliment her outfit or accessories and make her feel pretty without calling attention to her
My "We're not Enron" t-shirt is raising a lot of accounting and corporate finance questions already answered by my shirt
it's happening dot gif
November 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
My "We're not Enron" t-shirt is raising a lot of accounting and corporate finance questions already answered by my shirt
Anyone who has ever said “children are a blessing” should spend an afternoon with this bunch of yahoos
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
November 24, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Anyone who has ever said “children are a blessing” should spend an afternoon with this bunch of yahoos
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let an MTV reality show dipshit lecture me on apparel
Sean Duffy: "Dressing with respect -- whether it's a pair of jeans and a decent shirt, I would encourage people to maybe dress a little better which encourages us to maybe behave a little better. Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport."
November 24, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let an MTV reality show dipshit lecture me on apparel
If you’re in Metro Detroit, go see my boy Paul at Office Furniture Warehouse on Maple east of Livernois in Troy. Dude hooked me up with the screws to fix my Aeron and I told him I’d try to recommend him to people
Not to be grim but I got mine at a warehouse sale for an office building that had been foreclosed on, not that hard to find those
it's some kind of journalistic malpractice to tell people an areon going for 30% off of $1600 is a meaningful "discount". you're supposed to get one from a shady facebook marketplace guy for $150 at most
November 24, 2025 at 7:44 PM
If you’re in Metro Detroit, go see my boy Paul at Office Furniture Warehouse on Maple east of Livernois in Troy. Dude hooked me up with the screws to fix my Aeron and I told him I’d try to recommend him to people
“I considered the odds of this plan succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.”
It’s thanksgiving week so I wanna see some MST3K posting, quotes, pictures, clips, gifs! Meanwhile I’m going to go to a department meeting and try to pay attention while I wonder if there’s beer on the sun
November 24, 2025 at 7:35 PM
“I considered the odds of this plan succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.”
Just saw a guy with no helmet riding an electric scooter down the middle of 14 Mile between Coolidge and Woodward and I want to ask him several questions
November 24, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Just saw a guy with no helmet riding an electric scooter down the middle of 14 Mile between Coolidge and Woodward and I want to ask him several questions
This business will get out of control, Charlie Brown. It will get out of control and we will be lucky to live through it.
You'll receive the Order of Lenin for this, Charlie Brown.
You arrogant ass, Charlie Brown, you’ve killed us!
November 24, 2025 at 4:37 PM
This business will get out of control, Charlie Brown. It will get out of control and we will be lucky to live through it.
Bob Moses opening for Phantogram, 2019
11 songs including a Prodigy cover (Breathe) and it RIPPED
11 songs including a Prodigy cover (Breathe) and it RIPPED
Who was the best opening act you've seen live?
November 24, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Bob Moses opening for Phantogram, 2019
11 songs including a Prodigy cover (Breathe) and it RIPPED
11 songs including a Prodigy cover (Breathe) and it RIPPED
The Institute for Giving Brie A Dollar has a study that says giving Brie a dollar is the answer
The Institute for Family Studies has a study that says families are the answer
November 24, 2025 at 1:54 PM
The Institute for Giving Brie A Dollar has a study that says giving Brie a dollar is the answer
A movie that takes place where you’re from
November 24, 2025 at 2:37 AM
A movie that takes place where you’re from
Be careful, things in here don’t react well to bullets, Charlie Brown.
I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane, Charlie Brown
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Be careful, things in here don’t react well to bullets, Charlie Brown.
Everybody makes mistakes
But it’s always mine that seem to keep on sticking
But it’s always mine that seem to keep on sticking
November 24, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Everybody makes mistakes
But it’s always mine that seem to keep on sticking
But it’s always mine that seem to keep on sticking
I’m watching an LCD show from 2016 and Evan just asked me “Mama, what’s Go90?” and I about lost my shit
Apparently we’ve identified one thing that actually appeared on it
Apparently we’ve identified one thing that actually appeared on it
November 24, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I’m watching an LCD show from 2016 and Evan just asked me “Mama, what’s Go90?” and I about lost my shit
Apparently we’ve identified one thing that actually appeared on it
Apparently we’ve identified one thing that actually appeared on it
Reposted by Roast TurkBrie 🍗
It’s the 20th season of Sunday Night Football on NBC, and I still can’t believe that Disney traded Al Michaels to them for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
November 24, 2025 at 1:22 AM
It’s the 20th season of Sunday Night Football on NBC, and I still can’t believe that Disney traded Al Michaels to them for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
Pickens just got tackled by his dick
November 24, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Pickens just got tackled by his dick
Me, from April through September
Well that was stupid as hell Cardinals
November 24, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Me, from April through September
Anybody replaced a MicroSD slot on a Switch before?
November 24, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Anybody replaced a MicroSD slot on a Switch before?
Could I? Sure, I understand how gravity works
Could I stick the landing and then stand back up? Absolutely not
Could I stick the landing and then stand back up? Absolutely not
Do you think you can jump out of a swing in mid air like when we were kids, right now at your grown age??
November 23, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Could I? Sure, I understand how gravity works
Could I stick the landing and then stand back up? Absolutely not
Could I stick the landing and then stand back up? Absolutely not
I'm sad Luis Guzman needs money bad enough to play a bartender in a sports betting commercial as just "a guy" and not "acting legend Luis Guzman"
November 23, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I'm sad Luis Guzman needs money bad enough to play a bartender in a sports betting commercial as just "a guy" and not "acting legend Luis Guzman"