Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
· Sep 28
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
OK, I want home run distance to be an Olympic sport now. Aluminum bats, hard baseballs, just go up there and crush the ball
There is nothing better than watching a Baseball Bat Bros video where they're just hitting NUKES
February 16, 2026 at 2:22 AM
OK, I want home run distance to be an Olympic sport now. Aluminum bats, hard baseballs, just go up there and crush the ball
There is nothing better than watching a Baseball Bat Bros video where they're just hitting NUKES
February 16, 2026 at 2:13 AM
There is nothing better than watching a Baseball Bat Bros video where they're just hitting NUKES
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Truly one of the most special and unique tributes to everyone’s pal
February 16, 2026 at 1:52 AM
Truly one of the most special and unique tributes to everyone’s pal
OK, no anonymous questions, but here's your chance to ask me things and/or shoot your shot, go
February 16, 2026 at 12:47 AM
OK, no anonymous questions, but here's your chance to ask me things and/or shoot your shot, go
If you do this to anyone you're an asshole and you should feel shame for it
I love being asked for nudes unprompted from dudes ive thought for years were just cool friends
February 15, 2026 at 11:57 PM
If you do this to anyone you're an asshole and you should feel shame for it
February 15, 2026 at 11:49 PM
This is some of the most genuine emotion I feel like I've ever seen him show
February 15, 2026 at 11:43 PM
This is some of the most genuine emotion I feel like I've ever seen him show
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Is Michael Jordan an asshole, yes, do I root for him despite knowing he’s an asshole, no comment
February 15, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Is Michael Jordan an asshole, yes, do I root for him despite knowing he’s an asshole, no comment
That's my Daytona 500 champion
Doing just fine
February 15, 2026 at 10:47 PM
That's my Daytona 500 champion
TYLER REDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 15, 2026 at 10:39 PM
TYLER REDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hovercar will wreck his teammate to win this y'all
February 15, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Hovercar will wreck his teammate to win this y'all
OK, 23 team, don't fuck this up
February 15, 2026 at 10:18 PM
OK, 23 team, don't fuck this up
If you're enjoying this Daytona 500, they're going to Atlanta next week, so you can just watch I-285 traffic and get the same level of excitement
February 15, 2026 at 10:16 PM
If you're enjoying this Daytona 500, they're going to Atlanta next week, so you can just watch I-285 traffic and get the same level of excitement
God that's half the field
February 15, 2026 at 9:15 PM
God that's half the field
I am for sure using this the next time I get misgendered while getting lunch
Wendy's, this is a ma'am
February 15, 2026 at 7:57 PM
I am for sure using this the next time I get misgendered while getting lunch
Did I just get a “thank you, sir” while looking like this? You know it
February 15, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Did I just get a “thank you, sir” while looking like this? You know it
I was maybe turning 3, my great-grandfather sat through a sales demo at a Magnavox retailer for the sole and express purpose of getting an Odyssey they were giving away just to give to me, and I played
By the time I was 4, I had a 2600 that I played Ghostbusters and Pac-Man on
By the time I was 4, I had a 2600 that I played Ghostbusters and Pac-Man on
I'm bored. repost this with what age you were when you first started playing video games, and bonus points for including the game title.
February 15, 2026 at 6:20 PM
I was maybe turning 3, my great-grandfather sat through a sales demo at a Magnavox retailer for the sole and express purpose of getting an Odyssey they were giving away just to give to me, and I played
By the time I was 4, I had a 2600 that I played Ghostbusters and Pac-Man on
By the time I was 4, I had a 2600 that I played Ghostbusters and Pac-Man on
- There was no pit road speed limit
- Buick, Oldsmobile and Pontiac were still legal for competition (and the last two were still in business!)
- Rusty Wallace had just won his only Winston Cup championship
- Buick, Oldsmobile and Pontiac were still legal for competition (and the last two were still in business!)
- Rusty Wallace had just won his only Winston Cup championship
NASCAR history when The Simpsons debuted:
- Dale Sr was a mere three time champ
- Jeff Gordon was several years from his first Cup start
- Richard Petty was still driving
- Dale Sr was a mere three time champ
- Jeff Gordon was several years from his first Cup start
- Richard Petty was still driving
February 15, 2026 at 5:45 PM
- There was no pit road speed limit
- Buick, Oldsmobile and Pontiac were still legal for competition (and the last two were still in business!)
- Rusty Wallace had just won his only Winston Cup championship
- Buick, Oldsmobile and Pontiac were still legal for competition (and the last two were still in business!)
- Rusty Wallace had just won his only Winston Cup championship
Your job, your SOLE job as a parent, is to love your child and be a safe, supportive person for to rely on, learn from and be protected by. If you can't do that, you're doing parenting wrong.
It's not for you to decide who your kid is. They can do that on their own. Your job is to be there for them
It's not for you to decide who your kid is. They can do that on their own. Your job is to be there for them
If your love for your children is contingent that they are cishet, you don’t actually love your children.
February 15, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Your job, your SOLE job as a parent, is to love your child and be a safe, supportive person for to rely on, learn from and be protected by. If you can't do that, you're doing parenting wrong.
It's not for you to decide who your kid is. They can do that on their own. Your job is to be there for them
It's not for you to decide who your kid is. They can do that on their own. Your job is to be there for them
So our new pastor is a young woman who’s gonna be on Jeopardy in a couple weeks
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
February 15, 2026 at 3:25 PM
So our new pastor is a young woman who’s gonna be on Jeopardy in a couple weeks
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
Let’s do that church
February 15, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Let’s do that church
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
When you’re not making out with me on Valentine’s Day, this is what you’re missing out on
February 15, 2026 at 1:56 AM
When you’re not making out with me on Valentine’s Day, this is what you’re missing out on
Pan-seared tilapia, air-fried broccoli and rice with tamari. How is this how I eat now?
February 14, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Pan-seared tilapia, air-fried broccoli and rice with tamari. How is this how I eat now?
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Roses are red
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
February 14, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Roses are red
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
Gut-check time, Cats, do you want this bad enough to get back in it?
February 14, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Gut-check time, Cats, do you want this bad enough to get back in it?