Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
· Sep 28
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
Baby Shark
What’s the WORST song to get beat up to? I’ll go first:
“Optimistic” x Sounds of Blackness
“Optimistic” x Sounds of Blackness
February 17, 2026 at 11:51 PM
Baby Shark
Not every joke is for everyone. Y'all have no idea how many times I take a pitch or two
If I’m commenting on something specific and you lack the context to understand what I’m talking about, sit it out. You don’t have to make jokes about everything that flies by your TL.
February 17, 2026 at 10:01 PM
Not every joke is for everyone. Y'all have no idea how many times I take a pitch or two
Skating to "Like A Prayer" is a boss ass move
February 17, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Skating to "Like A Prayer" is a boss ass move
Postal inspectors actually are what FBI agents want you to believe they are
Okay, that explains why Spanberger is the way she is.
Not CIA, postal inspectors. The postal inspectors are amazing and have ZERO sense of humor.
Not CIA, postal inspectors. The postal inspectors are amazing and have ZERO sense of humor.
TIL that before Gov. Abigail Spanberger joined the CIA, she was a Postal Inspector, which I suspect is actually where her impeccable energy comes from.
Postal Inspectors are apex predators.
Postal Inspectors are apex predators.
February 17, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Postal inspectors actually are what FBI agents want you to believe they are
Let’s make red beans and rice
February 17, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Let’s make red beans and rice
I find it fascinating that as I think about it, I don’t have one of these
Like, the closest is having my feelings hurt as a middle-schooler that I wasn’t allowed to start a church-league softball game because I wasn’t actually a member of the church I was playing for so I had to come off the bench
Like, the closest is having my feelings hurt as a middle-schooler that I wasn’t allowed to start a church-league softball game because I wasn’t actually a member of the church I was playing for so I had to come off the bench
let's hear some more of these Olympic Moments, what's your greatest personal sports-related tantrum
Yinz guys are special writers and always make me laugh.......
This is beyond relatable
I rolled a bowling bowl across a parking lot and into the woods. I drove home in my bowling shoes. I haven't picked a ball up since. Almost 24 years.
This is beyond relatable
I rolled a bowling bowl across a parking lot and into the woods. I drove home in my bowling shoes. I haven't picked a ball up since. Almost 24 years.
February 17, 2026 at 6:36 PM
I find it fascinating that as I think about it, I don’t have one of these
Like, the closest is having my feelings hurt as a middle-schooler that I wasn’t allowed to start a church-league softball game because I wasn’t actually a member of the church I was playing for so I had to come off the bench
Like, the closest is having my feelings hurt as a middle-schooler that I wasn’t allowed to start a church-league softball game because I wasn’t actually a member of the church I was playing for so I had to come off the bench
This is completely unsustainable.
WD and Seagate confirm: Hard drives for 2026 sold out
WD and Seagate confirm: Hard drives for 2026 sold out
Hyperscalers are tearing hard drives out of the hands of manufacturers. Prices are therefore also rising for SSDs.
www.heise.de
February 17, 2026 at 5:47 PM
This is completely unsustainable.
If you or your company needs someone with more than a decade of corporate comms experience plus like five years of journalism experience, DM me, I’m available
Remote or SE Michigan please, I’m not looking to move at the moment.
Remote or SE Michigan please, I’m not looking to move at the moment.
Why am I still here? Why am I doing any of this? I no longer believe in anything we’re doing, I’m undervalued and underpaid, why am I still here?
February 17, 2026 at 5:11 PM
If you or your company needs someone with more than a decade of corporate comms experience plus like five years of journalism experience, DM me, I’m available
Remote or SE Michigan please, I’m not looking to move at the moment.
Remote or SE Michigan please, I’m not looking to move at the moment.
Why have I spent the last month working on designing an employee town hall agenda and outline that is responsive to employee feedback and improves engagement when the CEO just wants to talk for an hour and 45 minutes
February 17, 2026 at 5:02 PM
Why have I spent the last month working on designing an employee town hall agenda and outline that is responsive to employee feedback and improves engagement when the CEO just wants to talk for an hour and 45 minutes
Y’all. I have never in my life seen someone just seem immediately like they belong somewhere like with this kid yesterday.
He had refused to do much research to avoid getting his hopes up, and that just made watching him yesterday so much more rewarding.
He had refused to do much research to avoid getting his hopes up, and that just made watching him yesterday so much more rewarding.
after campus day yesterday i cannot see myself anywhere but ann arbor lol. it just makes so much sense for me
February 17, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Y’all. I have never in my life seen someone just seem immediately like they belong somewhere like with this kid yesterday.
He had refused to do much research to avoid getting his hopes up, and that just made watching him yesterday so much more rewarding.
He had refused to do much research to avoid getting his hopes up, and that just made watching him yesterday so much more rewarding.
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
If you (like me) didn't know, now you know.
link:
link:
February 17, 2026 at 3:26 PM
If you (like me) didn't know, now you know.
link:
link:
I was four years old when Rev. Jackson launched his second campaign for President in 1988, and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why people were not supporting a minister who wanted to make things better for everyone.
Guess that’s when I learned racism was a thing.
Rest in peace, sir.
Guess that’s when I learned racism was a thing.
Rest in peace, sir.
February 17, 2026 at 3:22 PM
I was four years old when Rev. Jackson launched his second campaign for President in 1988, and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why people were not supporting a minister who wanted to make things better for everyone.
Guess that’s when I learned racism was a thing.
Rest in peace, sir.
Guess that’s when I learned racism was a thing.
Rest in peace, sir.
Or not
She walked Sunday night
She walked Sunday night
Oh God I think I have to meet my new boss tomorrow
February 17, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Or not
She walked Sunday night
She walked Sunday night
Ugh, why do I have to work tomorrow. Or any day.
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
February 17, 2026 at 3:27 AM
Ugh, why do I have to work tomorrow. Or any day.
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
Yeah, no one ever knows what you're talking about
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
What’s the best song lyric in history?
February 17, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Yeah, no one ever knows what you're talking about
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
Link: “Gatorade used to come in glass bottles?!”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
February 17, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Link: “Gatorade used to come in glass bottles?!”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
I did the hard thing and started transitioning instead of being miserable and sad
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Quote Post this with something you like about yourself
February 17, 2026 at 12:16 AM
I did the hard thing and started transitioning instead of being miserable and sad
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Monobob seems like the safe choice until you remember that Simona de Silvestro has qualified at Indianapolis more than once and she can barely keep the thing pointed down the track
You cannot walk down. You cannot scooch on your butt and cry. You must choose one of the approved Olympic methods for reaching the bottom of the course so that we can learn your true nature of your heart. Which terrifying Olympic sliding sport would you brave?
Which Terrifying Sliding Sport Would You Brave? | Defector
Imagine yourself in the beautiful Dolomites of Cortina d’Ampezzo. The air is thin and cold. The stars blaze in the night sky above you. Inside your body is the kind of fear that empties you, that…
defector.com
February 17, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Monobob seems like the safe choice until you remember that Simona de Silvestro has qualified at Indianapolis more than once and she can barely keep the thing pointed down the track
Is it weird that one of the things I say most often to the dog is me quoting Orson Welles?
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
February 16, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Is it weird that one of the things I say most often to the dog is me quoting Orson Welles?
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
MST3K: The Movie (I literally used to do Dr. Forrester's intro in high school to amuse people. Or at least that was the intent.)
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
what’s a movie you can quote from start to finish?
i’ll go first: Armageddon
i’ll go first: Armageddon
February 16, 2026 at 11:26 PM
MST3K: The Movie (I literally used to do Dr. Forrester's intro in high school to amuse people. Or at least that was the intent.)
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Newsom? Yeah I Newsom dumb bitches and they all wanted to vote for this loser
February 16, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Newsom? Yeah I Newsom dumb bitches and they all wanted to vote for this loser
A fit check from the gender-neutral bathroom. I need new sneakers, pretty sure these Monarchs give me away as not cis.
February 16, 2026 at 3:02 PM
A fit check from the gender-neutral bathroom. I need new sneakers, pretty sure these Monarchs give me away as not cis.