Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
· Sep 28
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
So our new pastor is a young woman who’s gonna be on Jeopardy in a couple weeks
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
February 15, 2026 at 3:25 PM
So our new pastor is a young woman who’s gonna be on Jeopardy in a couple weeks
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
Feel like this is maybe gonna work out y’all
Let’s do that church
February 15, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Let’s do that church
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
When you’re not making out with me on Valentine’s Day, this is what you’re missing out on
February 15, 2026 at 1:56 AM
When you’re not making out with me on Valentine’s Day, this is what you’re missing out on
Pan-seared tilapia, air-fried broccoli and rice with tamari. How is this how I eat now?
February 14, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Pan-seared tilapia, air-fried broccoli and rice with tamari. How is this how I eat now?
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Roses are red
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
February 14, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Roses are red
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
Stem held between teeth
I ordered us takeout but it's
Gut-check time, Cats, do you want this bad enough to get back in it?
February 14, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Gut-check time, Cats, do you want this bad enough to get back in it?
Our real national anthem
roses are red
they cost a nice buck
fuck you
if your name is tkachuk
they cost a nice buck
fuck you
if your name is tkachuk
February 14, 2026 at 9:13 PM
Our real national anthem
Kentucky’s down 15 in the first half?
We’ve got Florida right where we want ‘em, they’ve fallen into our trap
We’ve got Florida right where we want ‘em, they’ve fallen into our trap
February 14, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Kentucky’s down 15 in the first half?
We’ve got Florida right where we want ‘em, they’ve fallen into our trap
We’ve got Florida right where we want ‘em, they’ve fallen into our trap
People say NASCAR is trying hard to shake its historic association with racism, but then they named their second-class series NORAPS
February 14, 2026 at 7:24 PM
People say NASCAR is trying hard to shake its historic association with racism, but then they named their second-class series NORAPS
The leader got turned in front of the field and we avoided an ARCA Brake!
February 14, 2026 at 7:13 PM
The leader got turned in front of the field and we avoided an ARCA Brake!
OK, level 1 appeal of "we're not covering Zepbound for anything" submitted, let's see how this goes
I will take this all the way to the state insurance commissioner if I have to
I will take this all the way to the state insurance commissioner if I have to
February 14, 2026 at 7:02 PM
OK, level 1 appeal of "we're not covering Zepbound for anything" submitted, let's see how this goes
I will take this all the way to the state insurance commissioner if I have to
I will take this all the way to the state insurance commissioner if I have to
Mini Tyrrell in the Ram Trucks Chevrolet dumps himself at 180 mph
February 14, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Mini Tyrrell in the Ram Trucks Chevrolet dumps himself at 180 mph
ARCA at Daytona and Talladega is like they actually did the "what if a normal person competed in the Olympics?" thing because there are guys out here whose prior qualifications are "I took I-75 on the way down here"
February 14, 2026 at 5:05 PM
ARCA at Daytona and Talladega is like they actually did the "what if a normal person competed in the Olympics?" thing because there are guys out here whose prior qualifications are "I took I-75 on the way down here"
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Canada’s on a power play and can’t get the puck out of their own zone, what the hell
February 14, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Canada’s on a power play and can’t get the puck out of their own zone, what the hell
I don’t know who that was that almost LePaged the field but I’d be pissed
February 14, 2026 at 2:26 AM
I don’t know who that was that almost LePaged the field but I’d be pissed
A friend of @dotdotexe.dftba.social’s is organizing an open mic night in a couple weeks and I’ve been asked to participate.
I have a tight five written, do I dare go up and do stand-up?
I have a tight five written, do I dare go up and do stand-up?
February 14, 2026 at 1:05 AM
A friend of @dotdotexe.dftba.social’s is organizing an open mic night in a couple weeks and I’ve been asked to participate.
I have a tight five written, do I dare go up and do stand-up?
I have a tight five written, do I dare go up and do stand-up?
Did someone explain to Hovercar that this isn’t Mooncar and he can’t drive like a dipshit?
February 14, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Did someone explain to Hovercar that this isn’t Mooncar and he can’t drive like a dipshit?
“Lady Justice has been raped
Truth assassin
Rolls of red tape seal your lips
Now you’re done in
Their money tips her scales again
Make your deal
Just what is truth? I cannot tell
Cannot feel”
This song was written in 1988 and it feels more relevant now than ever.
Truth assassin
Rolls of red tape seal your lips
Now you’re done in
Their money tips her scales again
Make your deal
Just what is truth? I cannot tell
Cannot feel”
This song was written in 1988 and it feels more relevant now than ever.
...And Justice for All (Remastered)
open.spotify.com
February 13, 2026 at 11:58 PM
“Lady Justice has been raped
Truth assassin
Rolls of red tape seal your lips
Now you’re done in
Their money tips her scales again
Make your deal
Just what is truth? I cannot tell
Cannot feel”
This song was written in 1988 and it feels more relevant now than ever.
Truth assassin
Rolls of red tape seal your lips
Now you’re done in
Their money tips her scales again
Make your deal
Just what is truth? I cannot tell
Cannot feel”
This song was written in 1988 and it feels more relevant now than ever.
Think maybe the pressure got to this kid
February 13, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Think maybe the pressure got to this kid
I just started giggling with joy at watching @billcorbett.bsky.social and Kevin in this
A reunion decades in the making! Back in December, Kevin, Bill, Beez and Patrick got together to adjust and calibrate the bots we used for the Kickstarter video. Support all future bot repairs on our Kickstarter: rifftraxmakesmst3k.com
February 13, 2026 at 9:48 PM
I just started giggling with joy at watching @billcorbett.bsky.social and Kevin in this
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
So Meijer's grocery aisle has an aisle labeled Portable Snacks. This seems to imply that, in addition to the Cheez-It and then the Extra Big Cheez-It, there exists also a Cheez-It too large to be moved.
( #SizeSky ?)
( #SizeSky ?)
February 13, 2026 at 8:07 PM
So Meijer's grocery aisle has an aisle labeled Portable Snacks. This seems to imply that, in addition to the Cheez-It and then the Extra Big Cheez-It, there exists also a Cheez-It too large to be moved.
( #SizeSky ?)
( #SizeSky ?)
[redacted to comply with Bluesky TOS]
On Thanksgiving, the immigrant children held at the Dilley detention center gathered in the gym for what they thought was a holiday feast.
The kids salivated over a spread of turkey, sandwiches, pastries and pies, a family told me.
But the food wasn’t for detainees — it was for the staff.
The kids salivated over a spread of turkey, sandwiches, pastries and pies, a family told me.
But the food wasn’t for detainees — it was for the staff.
February 13, 2026 at 8:06 PM
[redacted to comply with Bluesky TOS]
“That was all my footage, my cameras, my house-it was not for HGTV, not for a show, no one would have ever seen the footage -I just didn’t want it there because it was a moment of deep regret and shame.”
You get how that’s worse, right?
You get how that’s worse, right?
Nicole Curtis apologizes for using racial slur, says video was ‘stolen, then manipulated’
Nicole Curtis posted an apology in which she said the racial slur video that led to HGTV canceling “Rehab Addict” was filmed on her personal time and later “stolen, then manipulated,” and "sold to a t...
www.clickondetroit.com
February 13, 2026 at 5:36 PM
“That was all my footage, my cameras, my house-it was not for HGTV, not for a show, no one would have ever seen the footage -I just didn’t want it there because it was a moment of deep regret and shame.”
You get how that’s worse, right?
You get how that’s worse, right?