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briesmith.xyz
Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn

Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout

Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:

wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
Think he just backed out of it because he felt it going down
February 14, 2026 at 2:10 AM
Left rear flat
February 14, 2026 at 2:09 AM
“All Good Things,” the series finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
February 14, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Oh yeah, they’re separate for the Olympics, they have a good track program in the summer
February 14, 2026 at 1:34 AM
Oh it’s Atlanta?

Glad they changed the name since they fucked the race track up
February 14, 2026 at 1:32 AM
I could see you absolutely rocking this aesthetic, though
February 14, 2026 at 1:31 AM
What the hell is an “Echopark Speedway”?
February 14, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Legitimately zero skips.
February 14, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Oh man, go listen to Sound Of Silver start to finish
February 14, 2026 at 1:27 AM
And a goddamn metronome as a drummer
February 14, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Can she share James Murphy’s number? We just need to have an abrupt conversation about licensing “Oh Baby” to a fascist billionaire
February 14, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Danforth Quayle tries to rise in opposition and trips over his own feet
February 14, 2026 at 1:16 AM
A friend of @dotdotexe.dftba.social’s is organizing an open mic night in a couple weeks and I’ve been asked to participate.

I have a tight five written, do I dare go up and do stand-up?
February 14, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Yikes, Cleetus just tank slapped the wall HARD with the left side
February 14, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Did someone explain to Hovercar that this isn’t Mooncar and he can’t drive like a dipshit?
February 14, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Yup, the only pitcher I’d trust to challenge a call is Greg Maddux and he ain’t playing
February 14, 2026 at 12:00 AM
“Lady Justice has been raped
Truth assassin
Rolls of red tape seal your lips
Now you’re done in
Their money tips her scales again
Make your deal
Just what is truth? I cannot tell
Cannot feel”

This song was written in 1988 and it feels more relevant now than ever.
...And Justice for All (Remastered)
open.spotify.com
February 13, 2026 at 11:58 PM
Changing the numerator AND the denominator
February 13, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Oh I wouldn’t try to play ball with it, but it’s a great length/weight combo for close-quarters defense
February 13, 2026 at 11:30 PM
There’s actually surprisingly little actual football content most of the time, I’m not entirely sure @hulcricket.bsky.social even likes it now but we’ve been together as a group for years and years
February 13, 2026 at 11:29 PM
We'll absorb you into the greater CFBSky Commentariat like we did with @miamurphy.com, just wait
February 13, 2026 at 11:23 PM
February 13, 2026 at 11:21 PM
Personally the only version of this sign I recognize is the @sickoscommittee.org version
February 13, 2026 at 11:19 PM
Neil O'Donnell in Super Bowl XXX level performance
February 13, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Do I need to introduce someone to Problem Solver?
February 13, 2026 at 11:15 PM