Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
· Sep 28
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
Ugh, why do I have to work tomorrow. Or any day.
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
February 17, 2026 at 3:27 AM
Ugh, why do I have to work tomorrow. Or any day.
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
We were not meant to spend our lives sending emails about internal communications newsletters
Yeah, no one ever knows what you're talking about
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
What’s the best song lyric in history?
February 17, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Yeah, no one ever knows what you're talking about
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
So I guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear
If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better
Link: “Gatorade used to come in glass bottles?!”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
February 17, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Link: “Gatorade used to come in glass bottles?!”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
Me: “Son, everything used to come in glass bottles. I drank Sun-drop from 7-ounce glass bottles for years as a little kid.”
I did the hard thing and started transitioning instead of being miserable and sad
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Quote Post this with something you like about yourself
February 17, 2026 at 12:16 AM
I did the hard thing and started transitioning instead of being miserable and sad
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Also I’m growing a nice rack
Monobob seems like the safe choice until you remember that Simona de Silvestro has qualified at Indianapolis more than once and she can barely keep the thing pointed down the track
You cannot walk down. You cannot scooch on your butt and cry. You must choose one of the approved Olympic methods for reaching the bottom of the course so that we can learn your true nature of your heart. Which terrifying Olympic sliding sport would you brave?
Which Terrifying Sliding Sport Would You Brave? | Defector
Imagine yourself in the beautiful Dolomites of Cortina d’Ampezzo. The air is thin and cold. The stars blaze in the night sky above you. Inside your body is the kind of fear that empties you, that…
defector.com
February 17, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Monobob seems like the safe choice until you remember that Simona de Silvestro has qualified at Indianapolis more than once and she can barely keep the thing pointed down the track
Is it weird that one of the things I say most often to the dog is me quoting Orson Welles?
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
February 16, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Is it weird that one of the things I say most often to the dog is me quoting Orson Welles?
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
"In your depths of your ignorance, what is it that you want? Whatever it is, I can't give it to you because I just can't see it."
MST3K: The Movie (I literally used to do Dr. Forrester's intro in high school to amuse people. Or at least that was the intent.)
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
what’s a movie you can quote from start to finish?
i’ll go first: Armageddon
i’ll go first: Armageddon
February 16, 2026 at 11:26 PM
MST3K: The Movie (I literally used to do Dr. Forrester's intro in high school to amuse people. Or at least that was the intent.)
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
The Blues Brothers
Ghostbusters
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Newsom? Yeah I Newsom dumb bitches and they all wanted to vote for this loser
February 16, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Newsom? Yeah I Newsom dumb bitches and they all wanted to vote for this loser
A fit check from the gender-neutral bathroom. I need new sneakers, pretty sure these Monarchs give me away as not cis.
February 16, 2026 at 3:02 PM
A fit check from the gender-neutral bathroom. I need new sneakers, pretty sure these Monarchs give me away as not cis.
I absolutely loved my experience at UK and it will always feel like home, but… UK looks and feels like a dump compared to UMich. Like, this place feels like College and not the Lexington House o’ Learnin’
February 16, 2026 at 1:50 PM
I absolutely loved my experience at UK and it will always feel like home, but… UK looks and feels like a dump compared to UMich. Like, this place feels like College and not the Lexington House o’ Learnin’
It’s getting real now
February 16, 2026 at 1:13 PM
It’s getting real now
OK, I want home run distance to be an Olympic sport now. Aluminum bats, hard baseballs, just go up there and crush the ball
There is nothing better than watching a Baseball Bat Bros video where they're just hitting NUKES
February 16, 2026 at 2:22 AM
OK, I want home run distance to be an Olympic sport now. Aluminum bats, hard baseballs, just go up there and crush the ball
There is nothing better than watching a Baseball Bat Bros video where they're just hitting NUKES
February 16, 2026 at 2:13 AM
There is nothing better than watching a Baseball Bat Bros video where they're just hitting NUKES
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Truly one of the most special and unique tributes to everyone’s pal
February 16, 2026 at 1:52 AM
Truly one of the most special and unique tributes to everyone’s pal
OK, no anonymous questions, but here's your chance to ask me things and/or shoot your shot, go
February 16, 2026 at 12:47 AM
OK, no anonymous questions, but here's your chance to ask me things and/or shoot your shot, go
If you do this to anyone you're an asshole and you should feel shame for it
I love being asked for nudes unprompted from dudes ive thought for years were just cool friends
February 15, 2026 at 11:57 PM
If you do this to anyone you're an asshole and you should feel shame for it
February 15, 2026 at 11:49 PM
This is some of the most genuine emotion I feel like I've ever seen him show
February 15, 2026 at 11:43 PM
This is some of the most genuine emotion I feel like I've ever seen him show
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
Is Michael Jordan an asshole, yes, do I root for him despite knowing he’s an asshole, no comment
February 15, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Is Michael Jordan an asshole, yes, do I root for him despite knowing he’s an asshole, no comment
That's my Daytona 500 champion
Doing just fine
February 15, 2026 at 10:47 PM
That's my Daytona 500 champion
TYLER REDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 15, 2026 at 10:39 PM
TYLER REDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hovercar will wreck his teammate to win this y'all
February 15, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Hovercar will wreck his teammate to win this y'all
OK, 23 team, don't fuck this up
February 15, 2026 at 10:18 PM
OK, 23 team, don't fuck this up