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Hot singles in your area but it’s just me unwrapping cheese slices.
November 24, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Hot singles in your area but it’s just me unwrapping cheese slices.
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A “smooth criminal” is just a criminal who is well moisturized.
November 24, 2025 at 11:30 PM
A “smooth criminal” is just a criminal who is well moisturized.
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My favorite childhood memory is having a strong bladder.
November 24, 2025 at 6:16 PM
My favorite childhood memory is having a strong bladder.
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OnlyFans but it’s just me minding my own business.
November 24, 2025 at 5:13 PM
OnlyFans but it’s just me minding my own business.
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maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
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Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
November 24, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
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a clutter shaming robot that goes around the house taking pics of clutter and sending them to your mom
November 23, 2025 at 7:34 PM
a clutter shaming robot that goes around the house taking pics of clutter and sending them to your mom
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I don't want a timer on my electric blanket. Don't turn off until my internal temperature reaches 163 degrees and my juices run clear.
November 23, 2025 at 7:58 PM
I don't want a timer on my electric blanket. Don't turn off until my internal temperature reaches 163 degrees and my juices run clear.
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Cloudy with a chance of brain fog.
November 23, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Cloudy with a chance of brain fog.
The shedding has begun
November 23, 2025 at 9:49 PM
The shedding has begun
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i like to have one nacho then another then two then three in the fibonacho sequence
November 23, 2025 at 5:10 PM
i like to have one nacho then another then two then three in the fibonacho sequence
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sorry, can’t
i need to get my cheese some cheese food
i need to get my cheese some cheese food
November 23, 2025 at 3:08 PM
sorry, can’t
i need to get my cheese some cheese food
i need to get my cheese some cheese food
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Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
November 23, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
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Lukewarm sexts in your DMs so you don’t burn yourself first thing on a Sunday morning
November 23, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Lukewarm sexts in your DMs so you don’t burn yourself first thing on a Sunday morning
I wish I saved one. My birthday just happened and my mom has always mailed me a birthday card. I didn’t get one this year. I wish I saved one. 💗😞
November 23, 2025 at 3:11 PM
I wish I saved one. My birthday just happened and my mom has always mailed me a birthday card. I didn’t get one this year. I wish I saved one. 💗😞
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sorry we lost touch over the years
~me, to reality
~me, to reality
November 23, 2025 at 4:37 AM
sorry we lost touch over the years
~me, to reality
~me, to reality
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This one officially wins as our favorite comment on the photo.
November 22, 2025 at 10:49 PM
This one officially wins as our favorite comment on the photo.
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Never be afraid to avoid new things.
November 22, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Never be afraid to avoid new things.
What’s your body specs, babe?
59/80R63
59/80R63
November 23, 2025 at 12:23 AM
What’s your body specs, babe?
59/80R63
59/80R63
Y’all ever so fkn high that you’re making the dogos dinner and you get some on your fingies and you lick them?
November 22, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Y’all ever so fkn high that you’re making the dogos dinner and you get some on your fingies and you lick them?
Do your bewbs ever get tired? Like mine been stuffed in a sports bra for too long and they’re sick of sitting in the same spot so then you give a nice adjustment and it’s like heaven. Like, have they ever been that tired?
November 22, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Do your bewbs ever get tired? Like mine been stuffed in a sports bra for too long and they’re sick of sitting in the same spot so then you give a nice adjustment and it’s like heaven. Like, have they ever been that tired?
I’m going to open a lesbian coffee shop and call it “Beans on Beans”
November 22, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I’m going to open a lesbian coffee shop and call it “Beans on Beans”
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com on over later gurl we crack open some can of beans
November 18, 2025 at 8:37 PM
com on over later gurl we crack open some can of beans
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“Quiet, Piggy” would be fitting for his tombstone.
November 19, 2025 at 1:10 AM
“Quiet, Piggy” would be fitting for his tombstone.