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To enter, follow AK Press and share this post. Shipping to US only, but we'll send an e-book if you're elsewhere. We'll announce winners here on 2/19.
February 13, 2026 at 11:37 PM
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When Walz capitulates on a thing like this it really sends the message, whether true or not, that he just doesn’t care at all, because it is so starkly different than his behavior when he clearly does care about something (even very worthy things like schools and trans kids).
Night raids are what killed Amir Locke.
"I'm gonna give Homan the benefit of the doubt"

"They should coordinate with local law enforcement, pick these people up in the middle of the night when they're not suspecting it"

Walz is capitulating to fascists and encouraging night raids. Genuinely disgusting. Why would anyone settle for this?
January 28, 2026 at 1:40 AM
“Can you direct me to the Naval Base in Alameda? It’s where they keep the Nuclear Wessls.”
January 27, 2026 at 2:15 AM
The Whiskey Pete attack vector.
They’re not magic. The attack vector is “person was added to a basically publicly accessible chat”

Always assume chats are public unless you’re certain every single person is someone you know, and even then that’s only true until someone’s phone is taken.

Use self deleting signal messages.
January 27, 2026 at 2:06 AM
The Man Who Was Thirsty: Now With Alf Hog!
January 27, 2026 at 2:00 AM
A dependent Y left to flounder on its own.
a cataclysmic day for algebra
X has stopped working
January 16, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Nixon talking to the paintings.
Kind of crazy how much this was described as “getting up to look at his ballroom.” But isn’t it still just a hole in the ground?
January 10, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Never change Philly.
This ad appeared this week on our West Philly block. Read all the way down.
January 10, 2026 at 1:16 PM
January 10, 2026 at 1:38 AM
I’m certain that milliseconds the first multi-billion dollar fine and class action payout is levied against an Ai slop factories, the toothpaste will be magically jammed right back in the tube like it never came out.
People say that like, "you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube" about AI bullshit but like... It IS possible, only a few people are preventing it. Kill the servers, delete the code, make it illegal to remake. It's possible, but rich people are blocking the obvious sane choice for all mankind
I‘m discontinuing my social media use for the foreseeable future and I want to explain why.

I woke up in the new year to discover that some guy on here had saved photos I took on New Year’s Eve and used Grok to remove my clothes. I know this because he showed me.
January 4, 2026 at 11:22 PM
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So like…now what? Is there a plan here exactly for what happens when you decapitate a government overnight?

Or is this just the “Jesus take the wheel” school of military planning?
January 3, 2026 at 1:23 PM
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“happy new year!”

[two days later]

“we regret to inform you that having a happy new year is cancelled”
January 3, 2026 at 2:10 PM
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The last day this will be true
The difference in time between now and I can has cheezburger

Is the same between I can has Cheezburger and the Berlin Wall falling
December 31, 2025 at 11:56 PM
One year in middle school:
- Alien
- Apocalypse Now
- Blade Runner
- Threads
Name 1 movie from your childhood you were way too young to watch.
December 31, 2025 at 3:18 AM
I did this twice too. Once as a freshman in English where the previous week instructions were given to buy a blue book for the final. I didn’t buy one, & told the prof this so I’m bouncing. He had a stack & handed me one.

The other was my grad stats exam. I forgot my calculator.

I aced both.
I ACTUALLY DID THIS IN REAL LIFE I forgot the time and date of my statistics final in college, probably because I never went to class, a friend in the dorm told me the final started an hour ago, I arrived late and utterly failed the final and the class as a whole, it was actually kind of magnificent
This is another version of the dream where you're back at college and you somehow keep forgetting to go to that one class and suddenly it's the final and you're screwed.
December 28, 2025 at 2:39 AM
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Mark Cuban exemplifies my image of wealthy techbros as "a dumbass who tripped and fell into a pit of money and think that makes them a generational genius"
December 26, 2025 at 4:50 PM
More light than dark.
December 19, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Love the serendipitous mashup in the timeline.
December 18, 2025 at 3:55 AM
A larger size kippah that covers most of the head like a Bucharian kippah.
Also "how to wear a kippah for balding guys who are allergic to adhesives"
December 17, 2025 at 2:56 AM
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Top 10 Tiny Desk Concerts without Doechi on it is a crime.
December 12, 2025 at 3:02 PM
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My weekly email to my congressman.
December 4, 2025 at 9:43 PM
November 27, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Gefiltetaschen.

For the thirty days from Purim to Passover. Just like Bubbe used to make.
November 27, 2025 at 1:44 AM
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“Posts” already lost the war.
November 18, 2025 at 2:32 PM
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"Images You Should Not Masturbate To" and "How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety"
November 16, 2025 at 2:42 AM