Rogue Elephant
@rogueelephant.bsky.social
One time i bit my own finger while eating a hot dog
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
I feel like it is culturally important to note that I recently played an old episode of the Simpsons on Disney+ for some kids and then a random newer episode and the kids, unprompted, were like “how come this isn’t as funny?” so it’s not just nostalgia we are correct
November 25, 2025 at 2:47 PM
I feel like it is culturally important to note that I recently played an old episode of the Simpsons on Disney+ for some kids and then a random newer episode and the kids, unprompted, were like “how come this isn’t as funny?” so it’s not just nostalgia we are correct
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
December 30, 2024 at 10:46 PM
TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
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tfw you’re fucking the lasagna man for lasagna
November 25, 2025 at 2:05 AM
tfw you’re fucking the lasagna man for lasagna
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Twitter accounts are based in Russia. BlueSky accounts are based in homes with, frankly, too many books, plants, obsolete cables, and pieces of rustic pottery, that could do with a bit of a tidying up, to be honest.
November 23, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Twitter accounts are based in Russia. BlueSky accounts are based in homes with, frankly, too many books, plants, obsolete cables, and pieces of rustic pottery, that could do with a bit of a tidying up, to be honest.
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
I AM GOING TO FIGHT A POLICE HORSE WITH A HAMMER AND I AM GOING TO WIN
November 23, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I AM GOING TO FIGHT A POLICE HORSE WITH A HAMMER AND I AM GOING TO WIN
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I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years
November 22, 2025 at 5:00 AM
I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Having spent most of my 20s and 30s in dive bars, I can recognize an “oh great, the worst person on earth thinks I’m awesome and wants to be best friends” face when I see one
Put it in The Louvre of US political history. The look on Mamdani's face is priceless.
November 22, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Having spent most of my 20s and 30s in dive bars, I can recognize an “oh great, the worst person on earth thinks I’m awesome and wants to be best friends” face when I see one
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Not for nothing but the “bromance” stuff is as made up cope as anything else. I haven’t heard a clip of Mamdani saying anything other than “I appreciated the invitation to discuss things with him” and agreeing that he called him a fascist
November 21, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Not for nothing but the “bromance” stuff is as made up cope as anything else. I haven’t heard a clip of Mamdani saying anything other than “I appreciated the invitation to discuss things with him” and agreeing that he called him a fascist
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Striding confidently, and with perfect posture, towards Bethlehem
April 21, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Striding confidently, and with perfect posture, towards Bethlehem
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
November 21, 2025 at 9:25 PM
TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Zohran cucked Trump in less than an hour, adjust what you think political strength looks like if you don’t think it looks like him
November 21, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Zohran cucked Trump in less than an hour, adjust what you think political strength looks like if you don’t think it looks like him
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every time a community tests ubi or free housing for the homeless the result is always "holy fuck this works incredibly well and costs less than existing solutions!" and then every politician alive does this
April 9, 2024 at 11:03 PM
every time a community tests ubi or free housing for the homeless the result is always "holy fuck this works incredibly well and costs less than existing solutions!" and then every politician alive does this
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Earlier today, I was notified that someone was at my door.
This is who it was:
This is who it was:
November 21, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Earlier today, I was notified that someone was at my door.
This is who it was:
This is who it was:
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
It’s fun to think about the surgeon who will botch your surgery 20 years from now and what he’s doing at this moment. He just ran all his homework through ChatGPT. He just read that article about vaccines and autism at the CDC website. He just watched an Instagram video about the moon landing hoax.
November 21, 2025 at 4:27 AM
It’s fun to think about the surgeon who will botch your surgery 20 years from now and what he’s doing at this moment. He just ran all his homework through ChatGPT. He just read that article about vaccines and autism at the CDC website. He just watched an Instagram video about the moon landing hoax.
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psst...hey kid...wanna see a perfect joke?
November 20, 2025 at 6:44 PM
psst...hey kid...wanna see a perfect joke?
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Bad news: Senator John Fetterman's book isn't selling. We need to support our Democratic senators if we want to take back Congress in 2026. That means walking the walk and putting our money where our mouth is — even if we disagree sometimes.
Support the Fetterman Book Fund!
👉 bit.ly/UnfetteredBook
Support the Fetterman Book Fund!
👉 bit.ly/UnfetteredBook
November 20, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Bad news: Senator John Fetterman's book isn't selling. We need to support our Democratic senators if we want to take back Congress in 2026. That means walking the walk and putting our money where our mouth is — even if we disagree sometimes.
Support the Fetterman Book Fund!
👉 bit.ly/UnfetteredBook
Support the Fetterman Book Fund!
👉 bit.ly/UnfetteredBook
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Every few years I feel compelled to post about the best hotel hack ever, because every time I post about it, it turns out to be new to lots of folks …
November 20, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Every few years I feel compelled to post about the best hotel hack ever, because every time I post about it, it turns out to be new to lots of folks …
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
may i remind you waymo glazers that in sf waymo killed a bodega cat, one of the only examples of a true unqualified good left on this godforsaken planet
November 20, 2025 at 5:16 AM
may i remind you waymo glazers that in sf waymo killed a bodega cat, one of the only examples of a true unqualified good left on this godforsaken planet
Sometimes a random person follows me and I worry that I, as a mostly non-posting but occasional reply guy, am about to inflict Discover Tab people on actual good posters who I follow cause they make me laugh
November 20, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Sometimes a random person follows me and I worry that I, as a mostly non-posting but occasional reply guy, am about to inflict Discover Tab people on actual good posters who I follow cause they make me laugh
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Opinion | I believed Hillary Clinton was a sex trafficker because one of her donors owned a pizza restaurant and "cheese pizza" has the same initials as "child pornography." Here's why I don't think Donald Trump's multi-decade best friendship with a sex trafficker connects him to sex trafficking.
November 20, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Opinion | I believed Hillary Clinton was a sex trafficker because one of her donors owned a pizza restaurant and "cheese pizza" has the same initials as "child pornography." Here's why I don't think Donald Trump's multi-decade best friendship with a sex trafficker connects him to sex trafficking.
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
oh yeah the new york city subway is so fucking scary, you never know what kind of weirdo you'll have to share a train with
November 19, 2025 at 11:49 PM
oh yeah the new york city subway is so fucking scary, you never know what kind of weirdo you'll have to share a train with
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
Fish have committed credit card fraud
November 19, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Fish have committed credit card fraud
Reposted by Rogue Elephant
I connected a WiFi enabled solenoid valve to a hose and set up a script on my phone so when the camera detected a squirrel it got blasted with the hose briefly. It was very effective.
November 19, 2025 at 4:07 PM
I connected a WiFi enabled solenoid valve to a hose and set up a script on my phone so when the camera detected a squirrel it got blasted with the hose briefly. It was very effective.