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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 14h

i have to assume that was her stage name at the time

Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 15h

joss whedon cracking open a specialty thesaurus titled More Epithets Specifically For Women

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 16h

the strangled glottal gasping undertone to the monologue suggests there's some Cenobite Shit happening up there

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Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

good hyuck, babe! @markpopham.bsky.social · 18h

eldest is starting a book

Chapter1 part1

It was a normal day for 15 year old Malla Pezi. After a long day of tests ,boxing, and homework, Malla looked out the window and she saw the Blood moon. "Oh no" said Malla under her breath. "Oh no no no no no no no no" Malla knew that her time as a human had come to an end.

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 17h

i had no idea this was the case for two married friends of mine, until like two years into knowing them, and i asked how they'd first met. i was like "damn! how about that! she actually did really like you"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 20h

"boob scooting" is the modt beautiful phrase in the English language

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 20h

faceless baby from Peter Blegvad's Leviathan

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 20h

dracula mad at me

🏰meg⚔️ @Birthright Audiobook! @impavid.us · 3d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 21h

Hanging Out Theory vindicated imo
bsky.app/profile/poss...

Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · Jan 10

the fundamental problem of civilization is that humanity's highest calling is Hanging Out With Friends, but a small minority of humans are maniacally driven to control everyone else because no one wants to hang out with them

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 22h

i dont remember a surprising amount of my life. yesterday a friend mentioned a burlesque act he saw in like 2009 and i slowly started to think i might've been there. he said "yeah, you were there" and then i remembered that in fact i constructed a fake muppet-style ass for a lady in that show

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Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

Kelly Bluebook @cheatlines.co · Jul 18

you know what some of these fashy tech guys never had? a friend who was a chronic underachiever but was also really cool and funny and maybe a little mean. and it shows

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 22h

beef and no, we're going store brand sour cream. what i lack in eurofanciness i make up for in MSG

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 22h

announced to my family that I'm makin borscht tomorrow. time to Get Hearty

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

came home from the grocery to find the four-year-old had littered the kitchen floor with his repeated attempts to draw a squirrel. real tortured artist hours

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

every time i see one of his videos i'm like "boy i know it's naive of me but can you imagine someone so good running for major office like mayor of nyc or something, that would rule"

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Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · Jul 17

We here at The Doctor Demento Show would like to express our sincerest apologies for today's program. When we invited Tom Lehrer on the show, it was in hopes of having a frank and honest exchange of ideas about local avian fauna. The last thing we would condone is hate speech, and as such, his comme

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Reposted by Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer

Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · Jun 18

Brian Demento: "honey, our son just told me he's decided to go to medical school!"
Marcia Demento: "wonderful! what a respectable career"
Brian Demento: "yes! I'm so glad he'll be putting aside his hobby of playing novelty songs and wildly hooting with laughter. No time for that when youre a doctor"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

oh that dude totally loves to (silently mimes subscribing to The Advocate magazine) if you know what i mean

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

i went out for Ethiopian lunch with friends and ordered the kitfo; got into what my friends called "a real Who's On First situation" as the waitress was confirming i wanted the beef uncooked but spicy, asking me "so .. no heat?" with me eventually saying "spicy but raw-raw"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 1d

guy still getting the hang of euphemisms: "so is he.. 'a friend of homosexual'?"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

i was trying to look up how old Homo erectus was but these are close enough

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

our local video store had a Cult Classics shelf and when i was a teen i'd just rent stuff from it at random. it ruled that they were like "here's a pile of stuff that we won't bother to separate by genre, just This Is For The Real Heads. Would You Like To Be A Real Head"
bsky.app/profile/poss...

Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · Dec 1

our local video store wouldnt rent R-rated movies to minors without a parental OK, so when I was 14 I asked my mom if she could do that so I could watch more of the Cult Classics shelf. She asked "what is it in these movies you want to see" and I was like "well I don't know. I haven't seen them yet"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

yes! whenever I encounter Breast Milk Fetishists online all i can think about is grimly, wearily attempting to rearrange the ziploc bags of pumped milk in the chest freezer in a way that will not accidentally nick one of corners of the bags while all my muscles feel full of ground glass and molasses

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

recently i mentioned the Boris The Sprinkler album "Mega Anal" to a friend from punk scene days in high school, and he was like "hell yeah, great album," and then after a long nervous pause he was like "so, just wanna check, Reverend Nørb isn't like.. he didn't, become.. . is he still. how is he"

good hyuck, babe! @markpopham.bsky.social · 2d

a not great aspect of the 2020s is every now and then i'll remember a writer/actor/comedian/musician i haven't heard about in a while and i'll think "oh I wonder how they're doing.... really hope they haven't *directly to camera* TURNED EVIL"

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Gregory Possum-Jumpscarer @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 2d

one time a college friend from NJ was working in NH for a summer and i gave her my phone number, and she was like "wait what's the area code," and i chuckled "oh my.. oh no.. you're up north now"

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