Mark Agee
@markagee.bsky.social
2.6K followers 560 following 430 posts
I write stuff and jokes, sometimes for TV shows for money. I like fried pickles.
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markagee.bsky.social
Walking through the locker room at the gym and a buck naked dude started getting dressed socks first, then t-shirt. For maximum chaos I’m gonna assume the order continued: hat, then glasses, watch, shoes, scarf
markagee.bsky.social
I still lurk for sports highlights and to see what the loons are discussing but about half the posts I’m served appear to be ads for the concept of “girls have butts”
markagee.bsky.social
Went to the pharmacy counter to ask for the good Sudafed that actually works and the guy asked if I just wanted one box or “the maximum amount.” Glad to know CVS supports my right to cook meth for personal use
markagee.bsky.social
A downstream effect of a lot of journalists now being nepo babies is that they don't know any criminals or dirtbags, so they don't ask themselves questions like "Why would the cartels pay money to kill the Feds who are accidentally helping them make more money?"
paleofuture.bsky.social
I don't think I've seen a network TV news report more transparently full of shit since maybe 2003, right before we invaded Iraq
markagee.bsky.social
The pitch for this shit is "It's handy dandy tutor that can replace google and your secretary, write code, do your homework, fly drones and do wars, drive cars, make movies, be your best friend, cure cancer, and also you can fuck it." It's like you asked to see its resume and it's this:
markagee.bsky.social
Mark Cuban’s whole argument about Steve Ballmer continues to be: “No you don’t get it, for rich people fraud is legal”
markagee.bsky.social
The only actual use case here is perverts putting themselves in sex scenes with Daenerys but the key to this whole industry is that everyone must pretend to have been born yesterday. The naivete is load bearing.
markagee.bsky.social
The cold open to tonight’s Task is one of the best episodes of TV I’ve ever seen
markagee.bsky.social
If Joel Embiid can find some stairs to fall down right now we can call this the most Philadelphia sports night of all time
markagee.bsky.social
It’s extremely funny they’re wearing 80 lbs of useless kit for an imaginary war and he’s wearing the perfect armor for the battle they’re actually having
dannykpolitics.bsky.social
WATCH: ‘Portland Frog’ pepper balled by ICE agents
markagee.bsky.social
Antifa Girlfriends are a direct violation of Section 1 of the Antifa Guidelines post Soros Accords
markagee.bsky.social
I met my wife Jeremy Renner on The Jeremy Renner App
conradhackett.bsky.social
Has anything great happened in your life because of social media?
markagee.bsky.social
We gave all the guys who used to headbutt lockers at your high school Licenses to Kill and you’ll never guess what happened next
markagee.bsky.social
Ladd McConkey sounds like if JK Rowling was black trying to name her one white character
markagee.bsky.social
Col. Jessup: Son, we live in a world that has fats, and those fats have to be guarded by fats with guns. Who's gonna gay it? You? You, Lieutenant Gayberg?
atrupar.com
Hegseth: "It all starts with physical fitness and appearance. If the secretary of war can do regular hard PT, so can every member of our joint force. Frankly, it's tiring to look out at combat formations and see fat troops. Likewise, it's completely unacceptable to see fat generals and admirals."
markagee.bsky.social
Bans also straightforwardly makes life worse for girls of all stripes and reduce participation across the board which is something the Cowards for Caving Caucus never address edmontonjournal.com/news/local-n...
Early dropoff in girls' school sports linked to new gender confirmation forms
Province's new requirements are already having impacts on girls' sports in junior high
edmontonjournal.com
markagee.bsky.social
Trump bombed Orlando from the air instead of sending in ground troops because he's a chicken.

Chickens lay eggs.

How does this help the high cost of eggs
hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social
The Trump administration’s threat to deploy troops in Portland is unlawful.

Here’s a thought.

Focus on protecting the healthcare of the American people.
markagee.bsky.social
Crazy they’re trying to shut it down when Antifa seems to be the only organization hiring
markagee.bsky.social
These kinda polls always kill me. The average American seems to think America is 40% black, 40% Latino, 20% Muslim, 20% Jewish, 25% gay and 20% trans. Somewhere in there must be a crossover group who spends all day looking for halal kosher hormones and coming out to their nine sets of parents
markagee.bsky.social
The maddening thing about all this is they concluded Harris lost because she said her pronouns at an event in 2019, yet they don't consider they might be right but for the wrong reason. SHE WAS CLEARLY PANDERING! Seventy percent of trans people probably rolled their fucking eyes you soulless dweebs
markagee.bsky.social
It's kind of funny the pitch is always the same. "The people who get paid to coach pandering think you should pander better." I wonder if Best Buy thinks I could use a new smart TV
owillis.bsky.social
lol new clown car just rolled up
markagee.bsky.social
Maam you cannot scare Office Depot employees. They have been damned to every hell by moms over bake sale posters. They get paid in pills to provide tech alibis for late term papers. They’ve printed flyers for bands so bad you wouldn’t believe
markagee.bsky.social
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook, and by gum it put them on the map
cnn.com
CNN @cnn.com · Sep 15
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has told analysts that people without smart glasses may one day be at a "significant cognitive disadvantage" compared to those who do use the tech: https://cnn.it/47L2Y5a
markagee.bsky.social
Good luck to everyone constantly trying to retroactively organize the thoughts of these shooters. The "Bella Ciao" thing is an Italian anti-fascist anthem yes but it's also the chorus to a song from the Netflix show "Money Heist" youtu.be/l5TMjYj-8MQ?...
Becky G - Bella Ciao (Official Video)
YouTube video by BeckyGVEVO
youtu.be