Mark Agee
@markagee.bsky.social
I write stuff and jokes, sometimes for TV shows for money. I like fried pickles.
Imagine heading into work with a fresh cup of coffee and getting a Shams alert that three months from now you’ll be found in a running car in a garage after your wife leaves
November 11, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Imagine heading into work with a fresh cup of coffee and getting a Shams alert that three months from now you’ll be found in a running car in a garage after your wife leaves
It's fun that he's gonna keep running for lesser and lesser offices until he wins. I congratulate future Andrew Cuomo on spending $4 million of Bill Ackman's money to win 6th grade class president on a platform of "Homework Stinks"
November 8, 2025 at 5:17 PM
It's fun that he's gonna keep running for lesser and lesser offices until he wins. I congratulate future Andrew Cuomo on spending $4 million of Bill Ackman's money to win 6th grade class president on a platform of "Homework Stinks"
"Point of clarification agent, you're saying he put some mustard on it? He put some mustard on the mustard? Let the record show the officer alleges double mustard"
November 4, 2025 at 4:26 PM
"Point of clarification agent, you're saying he put some mustard on it? He put some mustard on the mustard? Let the record show the officer alleges double mustard"
Richest country in the history of the known universe: Take your hungry kids Trick or Beansin’
October 29, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Richest country in the history of the known universe: Take your hungry kids Trick or Beansin’
Registering to run for office should require the same ritual as getting kicked out of the Sons of Anarchy
October 21, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Registering to run for office should require the same ritual as getting kicked out of the Sons of Anarchy
Antifa Girlfriends are a direct violation of Section 1 of the Antifa Guidelines post Soros Accords
October 9, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Antifa Girlfriends are a direct violation of Section 1 of the Antifa Guidelines post Soros Accords
These kinda polls always kill me. The average American seems to think America is 40% black, 40% Latino, 20% Muslim, 20% Jewish, 25% gay and 20% trans. Somewhere in there must be a crossover group who spends all day looking for halal kosher hormones and coming out to their nine sets of parents
September 19, 2025 at 7:16 PM
These kinda polls always kill me. The average American seems to think America is 40% black, 40% Latino, 20% Muslim, 20% Jewish, 25% gay and 20% trans. Somewhere in there must be a crossover group who spends all day looking for halal kosher hormones and coming out to their nine sets of parents
The Wahhabists become my lobotomists when I sit down at the table and accidentally call MBS 'IBS'
September 5, 2025 at 2:55 PM
The Wahhabists become my lobotomists when I sit down at the table and accidentally call MBS 'IBS'
In Arkham interview Harley Quinn tells Mayor Oswald Cobblepot's lawyer that she never saw him in the Joker's hideout
August 22, 2025 at 7:42 PM
In Arkham interview Harley Quinn tells Mayor Oswald Cobblepot's lawyer that she never saw him in the Joker's hideout
Every sergeant at Fort Bragg by next Thursday
August 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Every sergeant at Fort Bragg by next Thursday
Every day there’s a never heard before sentence that if you said it a week prior would lead to a 48-hour involuntary psych hold
August 7, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Every day there’s a never heard before sentence that if you said it a week prior would lead to a 48-hour involuntary psych hold
Econ 101 in 2130: “If you turn to the chapter on The Greater Depression you’ll see the dip into Zimbabwe style hyperinflation started here, when a newspaper found a picture of the president naked in a dollhouse. Uh moving on”
July 25, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Econ 101 in 2130: “If you turn to the chapter on The Greater Depression you’ll see the dip into Zimbabwe style hyperinflation started here, when a newspaper found a picture of the president naked in a dollhouse. Uh moving on”
Guy in The Prestige walks out on stage. “For my next trick I’m going to have an identical twin”
July 25, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Guy in The Prestige walks out on stage. “For my next trick I’m going to have an identical twin”
I feel like a lot of people are asking this even though they know, they just don’t like the answer. It’s Gaza. The U.S. government’s handling of Israel is so disconnected from public sentiment and campaign promises that a ton of people have turned to conspiracy theories and Trump reads his replies
July 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
I feel like a lot of people are asking this even though they know, they just don’t like the answer. It’s Gaza. The U.S. government’s handling of Israel is so disconnected from public sentiment and campaign promises that a ton of people have turned to conspiracy theories and Trump reads his replies
Understood. Went to your page just to make sure you were in good faith and saw you reposted this piece which says my thoughts better than me.
July 11, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Understood. Went to your page just to make sure you were in good faith and saw you reposted this piece which says my thoughts better than me.
“TARGET ACQUIRED. TARGET ACQUIRED. ENGAGE ENGAGE”
July 10, 2025 at 5:35 PM
“TARGET ACQUIRED. TARGET ACQUIRED. ENGAGE ENGAGE”
Lebron trying to force a trade away from Bronny
June 30, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Lebron trying to force a trade away from Bronny
We need an Operation Paperclip extracting guys from the Florida Panhandle to improve the pedophile experience on Roblox
June 16, 2025 at 5:27 PM
We need an Operation Paperclip extracting guys from the Florida Panhandle to improve the pedophile experience on Roblox
