Jessica Shortall 🧂🥴
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jessicashortall.bsky.social
Jessica Shortall 🧂🥴
@jessicashortall.bsky.social
Pleasant, well-nourished female.
Somewhere near one of 11,842 lakes
Pinned
Keep remembering:
Don’t let cruelty make you cruel.
(Being cruel to or wishing cruelty on people who supported the cruel person is still cruelty.)
Give your children (boys too!) the gift of never having several types of cancer.
An actual miracle.
Australia recorded ZERO cases of cervical cancer in women under 25 for the first time since they started tracking the cancer in the 80s.

This is the power of vaccines.

The HPV vaccine is extremely effective at preventing cancer.

Viruses can be oncogenic. Get your vaccines and protect yourself!
newsGP - Australia set for world-first cervical cancer elimination
Vaccination programs have played a key role, and GPs remain ‘instrumental’ in boosting screening rates to reach the 2035 target.
www1.racgp.org.au
November 27, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Reposted by Jessica Shortall 🧂🥴
Once made "chocolate chip
cookies" in a frying pan over a camel dung flame using sheep lard instead of butter and chocolate chips from instant oatmeal packets.

Sometimes it's more about sharing a dream than the inevitable sad outcome.
Maybe I’ll tell y’all about Thanksgiving in Uzbekistan, where I was in the peace corps 2000-2001.
I lived in a town; nearest American lived in a qishloq - a true village. A few of us somehow figured out to meet there. (How? No internet, no phones. No recollection of how we planned anything.) 1/
November 27, 2025 at 6:52 AM
Maybe I’ll tell y’all about Thanksgiving in Uzbekistan, where I was in the peace corps 2000-2001.
I lived in a town; nearest American lived in a qishloq - a true village. A few of us somehow figured out to meet there. (How? No internet, no phones. No recollection of how we planned anything.) 1/
November 27, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Or: No.
cnn.com CNN @cnn.com · 2d
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to mean delicious but unhealthy dishes. You can have flavor plus boost longevity with these five tips from blue zone researcher Dan Buettner. https://cnn.it/4rAnU6m
November 26, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Went to daughter’s hockey game, came home to learn Willie devoured one of the pumpkins pies I made with a pumpkin I grew myself.
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 AM
We should all be outraged.
November 25, 2025 at 6:54 PM
"Device hoarding," meaning keeping the working object you already own instead of constantly buying a new one?
It's also funny that this is *also* from CNBC:
November 25, 2025 at 6:41 PM
No one cares that you don't like pumpkin pie; that's not interesting
November 25, 2025 at 3:50 PM
to each his own I guess
I'd rather read RFK Jr texts
November 25, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Government so big it nags you about how to dress
cnn.com CNN @cnn.com · 2d
US Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy suggests travelers dress more formally and follow common courtesy guidelines as part of the Trump administration's "Civility Campaign" ahead of the busy holiday travel season.
November 25, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Why is Waterboy on this literally at all?
Who on God’s green earth would put Ace Ventura over The Jerk and Wayne’s World? did they just put a bunch of movie names in a bag and shake it and see what fell out?
The movie listed at #1 is so incredibly misplaced that it calls into question the veracity of the entire list. It belongs on the list, yes, but SO MUCH further down. An absolute, credibility-wrecking flub. Boo, @variety.com! Boo!

variety.com/lists/best-c...
The 100 Best Comedy Movies of All Time
Variety's list of the 100 best comedy movies of all time includes 'Annie Hall,' 'Pretty Woman,' 'Waiting for Guffman' and 'Young Frankenstein.'
variety.com
November 25, 2025 at 4:41 AM
I grew my own pumpkin pie this year. A 6-month pie.
November 25, 2025 at 12:11 AM
What a fun trick. I turned off smart features in my Gmail to make Gemini go away, so now every spam emai that used to go to "promotions" is now in my primary inbox.
November 24, 2025 at 3:17 PM
The logical endpoint of this is taking your phone to a party, turning on Grok, and leaving.

Also don’t sleep on how excited he gets about telling Grok to use “forbidden words” — which words exactly do you think he means?
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Ok I’m doing it.
I’m watching Die Hard for the first time.
November 22, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Currently I think the most embarrassing part of the whole of Part 2, in terms of Are These People Now Or Have These People Ever Been Good At Journalism, is the micro book report on bamboo.

Bamboo is a type of grass. Marian-Webster defines bamboo as
November 22, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Reposted by Jessica Shortall 🧂🥴
help
November 22, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I’m ashamed of all of us
November 22, 2025 at 1:08 PM
This is me for like 48 hours after every time I make arepas.
November 21, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Roses are red/
Jesus loved the outcasts dearest/
November 21, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Also: "Naturalized citizens should not be allowed to hold public office."
Nalin Haley: "It's irresponsible to have legal immigration."
November 20, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Sure I will get yelled at but I think about how hard being The First is, how you are guaranteed everyone will be mad at you, esp. Your People, for not doing it the right way, how there are things you wish you could do right away, but sometimes have a longer view in mind.
This is about Sarah McBride.
November 20, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Reposted by Jessica Shortall 🧂🥴
For my newsletter today, I wrote about why I've changed my mind about Sarah McBride. (I still find plenty to disagree with) www.burnsnotice.com/revaluating-...
November 20, 2025 at 5:08 PM
November 20, 2025 at 5:12 PM