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Hand Warmer

@handwharmer.bsky.social

29K followers 36K following 66 posts

Eat. Sleep. Game. Repeat.

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Hand Warmer @handwharmer.bsky.social · Nov 29

These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se

140 420 1.2K

Reposted by Hand Warmer

Hand Warmer @handwharmer.bsky.social · Nov 29

These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se

140 420 1.2K

Reposted by Hand Warmer

Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social · Sep 7

In Super Mario Odyssey, kicking things is Mario's highest priority, overriding all other actions. If a kickable object, such as a football, is thrown at Mario while he is asleep, he will momentarily wake up just to kick it before instantly going back to sleep.

75 3K 9.7K

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · Aug 11

[seeing that my wife has started buying cauliflower again] looks like it's time for another diss track

3 51 160

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WldAnmls @wldanmls.bsky.social · Jul 21

I said no needles. I meant no needles.

A cat wedging himself behind a window to avoid needle time.

1 12 120

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · Jul 21

Wild that detectives and trained dogs can find human remains in the wilderness based on scant clues but my husband and kids can't find the ketchup in the fridge in the same spot it always is

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Hand Warmer @handwharmer.bsky.social · Jul 7

I’m not running late. I’m arriving in dramatic fashion.

4 42

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ceej @ceej.online · Jul 4

the only “grey lady” I respect is the spirit who sobs in the corner of my bedroom from 2-3am each night

49 320 2.8K

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · Jul 5

(watching any Jurassic Park movie) when does the whistle blow so they can slide down the brontosaurus neck

19 86 670

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · Jul 6

To my moots who watch “The Bear,” I’d sit under the table with all of you

4 7 37

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The Simpsons @simpsonsquotes.bsky.social · Jul 7

You're out there somewhere, Beer Barron, and I'll find you.

4 30 220

Hand Warmer @handwharmer.bsky.social · Jun 26

I put “flexible” on my resume because I cry in different locations.

8 62

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Ombudsman of the Overtired @kamm-inc.bsky.social · Jun 25

UNACCEPTABLE! #AdventureTime

69 220 2.7K

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Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social · Jun 22

Normally, NPCs in Mario games are bothered very little by Mario attacking them, to make the interaction seem harmless. However, in Bowser's Fury, the way the mother cats' animations work result in them crying specifically as a result of being attacked, making Mario appear cruel.

23 230 1.6K

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ceej @ceej.online · Jun 26

whoa, ouroboros, you must be hungry

10 53 390

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · Jun 26

conversely butter can’t believe it’s you

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Hand Warmer @handwharmer.bsky.social · Jun 19

If overthinking burned calories, I’d be translucent.

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ceej @ceej.online · Jun 19

this is a sith lightsaber, from the war. I keep it on a shelf right next to my stormtrooper armor and imperial officer’s uniform. I’ve even got a verified chunk of the death star from yavin. I’m just a collector. I just think the history is interesting. no, I don’t have any rebel stuff

110 1.3K 7.3K

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fredesque @fredtaming.bsky.social · Jun 19

me: everything bagel plz

him: even war?

me: onion bagel plz

16 110 860

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · Jun 19

This is discrimination against impatient people

Sign in front of medical building that says patient parking only

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Hand Warmer @handwharmer.bsky.social · Jun 12

I’m not avoiding my problems. I’m giving them space to grow into bigger, more impressive problems.

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · Jun 12

my eight-month-old son won't drive a car. i set him in the driver's seat, buckle him in, even put the key in the ignition for him, and he just sits there and smiles at me. i'm at my wit's end