“spooky” halftimbered 🛸
@halftimbered.au
soft serve, soft core porn, soft rock • he/they • isle of screams; littoral australia. Gentle and forgiving, all the rest is treason • 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️rights • 🍉
I can either see you tomorrow if you leave now or I’ll see you in a year if I put you on the registry. Previously, do you need that report with ‘if asked’ remarks or are you using it internally for departmental use?
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work.
"and just how likely is it that this could kill someone?"
"and just how likely is it that this could kill someone?"
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work.
"Do not turn it off, and the door slides to open and closed. Do not push."
"Do not turn it off, and the door slides to open and closed. Do not push."
February 8, 2026 at 9:54 AM
I can either see you tomorrow if you leave now or I’ll see you in a year if I put you on the registry. Previously, do you need that report with ‘if asked’ remarks or are you using it internally for departmental use?
Australia Day gives me hives
January 25, 2026 at 12:15 PM
Australia Day gives me hives
Prepping to go to bed before a double shift on invasion day tomorrow. Shift one I’ll be surrounded by ex military flag fuckers at the RSL, next pub it’ll all be pissheads being ‘larrikins’ fifteen pints deep. Give me strength. I got a cool ‘fuck off, you know where I stand’ bracelet though
January 25, 2026 at 12:14 PM
Prepping to go to bed before a double shift on invasion day tomorrow. Shift one I’ll be surrounded by ex military flag fuckers at the RSL, next pub it’ll all be pissheads being ‘larrikins’ fifteen pints deep. Give me strength. I got a cool ‘fuck off, you know where I stand’ bracelet though
I’ve worked weird hours 13 out of the last 14 days and am having what I absolutely craved - a night where I eat pizza in boxers, have some beers and watch The X-Files
January 25, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I’ve worked weird hours 13 out of the last 14 days and am having what I absolutely craved - a night where I eat pizza in boxers, have some beers and watch The X-Files
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
When Trump wanted 🇺🇸 to ‘own’ Gaza 🇵🇸, Francesca Albanese gave us invaluable advice
It’s never been more relevant:
‘Stay calm’
‘The international community is made of 193 states’
‘This is the time to give the 🇺🇸 what it’s been looking for’
‘Isolation’
It’s never been more relevant:
‘Stay calm’
‘The international community is made of 193 states’
‘This is the time to give the 🇺🇸 what it’s been looking for’
‘Isolation’
January 17, 2026 at 10:09 PM
When Trump wanted 🇺🇸 to ‘own’ Gaza 🇵🇸, Francesca Albanese gave us invaluable advice
It’s never been more relevant:
‘Stay calm’
‘The international community is made of 193 states’
‘This is the time to give the 🇺🇸 what it’s been looking for’
‘Isolation’
It’s never been more relevant:
‘Stay calm’
‘The international community is made of 193 states’
‘This is the time to give the 🇺🇸 what it’s been looking for’
‘Isolation’
Every couple of months a line of coins appears along the wall in the smokers area at one of my pubs. Then it disappears. I have no idea what these coins are for, who puts them there or what their use ends up as. I’ve instructed everyone to leave them alone
January 17, 2026 at 7:24 AM
Every couple of months a line of coins appears along the wall in the smokers area at one of my pubs. Then it disappears. I have no idea what these coins are for, who puts them there or what their use ends up as. I’ve instructed everyone to leave them alone
Mainstream TV is getting really gay and really horny. Between Hunting Wives and Heated Rivalry tendercore Gen Z losers that don’t want sex on screen can eat shit
January 13, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Mainstream TV is getting really gay and really horny. Between Hunting Wives and Heated Rivalry tendercore Gen Z losers that don’t want sex on screen can eat shit
The majestic, not at all polluted Don River 🍁
January 13, 2026 at 12:43 AM
The majestic, not at all polluted Don River 🍁
I don’t understand why people in the UK complain all the time. Usually about mild inconveniences or the temperature. Like, I don’t know, turn on your heat Gareth and figure out how to stay calm while the lady in front of you at the shop pays with coins
January 5, 2026 at 11:04 PM
I don’t understand why people in the UK complain all the time. Usually about mild inconveniences or the temperature. Like, I don’t know, turn on your heat Gareth and figure out how to stay calm while the lady in front of you at the shop pays with coins
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
In a statement, an emotional Grok told me it was "shaken" by the revenge porn it had generated. "It's not epic, and not based," Grok said. "It's neither. Frankly, it's cringe. And gay." An emailed request for comment to X received an auto-reply of a rofl emoji and a custom swastika emoji.
January 3, 2026 at 5:29 AM
In a statement, an emotional Grok told me it was "shaken" by the revenge porn it had generated. "It's not epic, and not based," Grok said. "It's neither. Frankly, it's cringe. And gay." An emailed request for comment to X received an auto-reply of a rofl emoji and a custom swastika emoji.
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
do you ever post with your left hand? it kinda feels like someone else is doing it
December 25, 2025 at 8:10 AM
do you ever post with your left hand? it kinda feels like someone else is doing it
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
Your power bill has tripled and you can't afford new PC parts just to create this.
December 20, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Your power bill has tripled and you can't afford new PC parts just to create this.
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
Laura Palmer's Theme
December 23, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Laura Palmer's Theme
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
Remember kids, if you're working today, no you're not. It's Christmas Eve Eve. Put 8 hours of fake meetings on your outlook calendar. You're meeting with Santa. Take a dozen smoke breaks and feed a reindeer. Dasher and Dancer love Newports. This work week is over if you believe it is.
December 23, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Remember kids, if you're working today, no you're not. It's Christmas Eve Eve. Put 8 hours of fake meetings on your outlook calendar. You're meeting with Santa. Take a dozen smoke breaks and feed a reindeer. Dasher and Dancer love Newports. This work week is over if you believe it is.
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
lot of people seem convinced that "actually Bari Weiss is doing exactly what they want" and I'm sorry but you're just wrong on that. she was supposed to quietly shift CBS to be rightwing. instead she Streisand Effected a story they wanted to kill because she is incredibly stupid.
December 22, 2025 at 5:23 PM
lot of people seem convinced that "actually Bari Weiss is doing exactly what they want" and I'm sorry but you're just wrong on that. she was supposed to quietly shift CBS to be rightwing. instead she Streisand Effected a story they wanted to kill because she is incredibly stupid.
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
When I was in Montepulciano I stumbled upon the shop of a fifth-generation coppersmith. We watched him hammer a bowl for a bit and he joked with us in Italian. He had two photos on his wall: One with him and Pope John Paul II, and one of him and Rick Steves.
It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans.
🧵 1 of 9
🧵 1 of 9
December 21, 2025 at 12:48 PM
When I was in Montepulciano I stumbled upon the shop of a fifth-generation coppersmith. We watched him hammer a bowl for a bit and he joked with us in Italian. He had two photos on his wall: One with him and Pope John Paul II, and one of him and Rick Steves.
at the end of the year it would seem i’m both unc and chopped
December 17, 2025 at 3:49 AM
at the end of the year it would seem i’m both unc and chopped
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
incredible stuff over at r/ididnthaveeggs
It’s a eggnog recipe
It’s a eggnog recipe
December 16, 2025 at 10:53 PM
incredible stuff over at r/ididnthaveeggs
It’s a eggnog recipe
It’s a eggnog recipe
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
I've just discovered the most "fake movie in a clumsy Hollywood satire" movie ever, except it happens to be real. The poster is amazing, too, especially that speech bubble.
December 14, 2025 at 9:50 AM
I've just discovered the most "fake movie in a clumsy Hollywood satire" movie ever, except it happens to be real. The poster is amazing, too, especially that speech bubble.
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
Today in “Dudes Rock”:
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
December 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Today in “Dudes Rock”:
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
Reposted by “spooky” halftimbered 🛸
An absolute horrific nightmare of two AI bots caught in a loop with each other is the perfect example of the total nothingness of AI “brains”.
December 9, 2025 at 9:09 PM
An absolute horrific nightmare of two AI bots caught in a loop with each other is the perfect example of the total nothingness of AI “brains”.
Listening to a podcast talking about early reviews of “Pay”, calling it a flop as only certain retailers accepted it... The product is just payWave/PayPass but ~on a phone~. It was already widely accepted at literally every shop *outside* of North America?
December 4, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Listening to a podcast talking about early reviews of “Pay”, calling it a flop as only certain retailers accepted it... The product is just payWave/PayPass but ~on a phone~. It was already widely accepted at literally every shop *outside* of North America?