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Hawk Ghost

@gateshawk.bsky.social

460 followers 220 following 5.4K posts

I finished an entire can of 7 up Author of "Johnny's Brand New Big Boy Bike" https://www.amazon.com/Johnnys-Brand-New-Big-Bike/dp/1724177753/ref=sr_1_1?crid=B1PA7IB9GNB0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-H_-htHgrzs2Acf0daTDiXB

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 24m

Tim Cook is asking me to beta test a new device called the Gentleman’s Companion

Reposted by Hawk Ghost

colorscolor @uglyjacket.bsky.social · Aug 4

[un muting myself as my co workers describe their weekends with their families] Reading won’t exist soon.

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 3h

Ok I get it, it's a feature not a bug. Continue

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 3h

Ok no I can’t listen to noises like that doctors orders

Reposted by Hawk Ghost

yeast @colourmode.bsky.social · 17h

PECO is adding something to my electricity to make me crazy and dangerous

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 5h

?? Explain please. I want to be prepared.

Reposted by Hawk Ghost

That's Are SCARY Dings™ 😱 @itsdings.bsky.social · 18h

Went bike shopping, accidentally bought a "bite"cycle instead!!! Friends, let me tell you, you don't want to sit on one of those!!!! This really happened

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Reposted by Hawk Ghost

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · Jun 21

Bride, hiss whispering: I thought you said you weren’t going to get the chandler priest

Groom: I didn’t! I thought I got the Joey one! I’m so sorry babe

Priest: could this couple be any more have prepared their own vows?

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 8h

I just had a good pear no offense

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 9h

Every 4-1 team in nfl history has gone on to win 7 super bowls in a row

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 17h

I would call and complain

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 18h

And why pray tell did you purchase such a mandíbular vehicle!

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 18h

Ouch

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 18h

Paying my book subscription using Klarna

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 18h

I have dried my hands on hosts’ bath towels, some of them in a state you would not believe

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 19h

The nfl should schedule every game for Monday night

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 20h

I would like a podcast unbefouled by humankind

Reposted by Hawk Ghost

yeast @colourmode.bsky.social · 13d

The ‘Tude Meister replied to your skeet

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Reposted by Hawk Ghost

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 21d

Call your congressman and demand free speech

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 20h

Hi I would like to find a podcast that isn’t full of filthy curse words

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 21h

Sick of these fake wise guys going around chomping on cigars. They don’t even cock their fedoras correctly

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Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 21h

[wise guy voice] The past isn’t past. It isn’t even past, see?

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 23h

There was a twitter account called "9 reply guys" run by 3 university social scientists and one time I tagged them in a link to my blog where I had written satire about reply guys and they called me a chad and said the piece was performative shittiness (pretty sure they didn't read it). No soup!

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 1d

Commissary

Hawk Ghost @gateshawk.bsky.social · 1d

Did you know there are 9 types of reply guy’s

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