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Crab Man

@crabman.bsky.social

3.4K followers 420 following 13K posts

Known for my iconic bits

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · Feb 4

.... .... .... .... .... .... .

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Reposted by Crab Man

Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 6h

leaving out bulk legumes for the trick or treaters

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Reposted by Crab Man

fishttp:// @fishttp.website · 6h

the most embarrassing thing in my middle aged leftists-but-we-don't-really-talk-politics groupchat is we absolutely can't organize a book club to save our lives. and crab man's presence.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 7h

I have a strong guess but we'll see tonight.

Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 7h

It's crazy that if they called it literally anything else, nobody would give a shit about brutalist architecture. No one would even be able to name a single artistic movement in architectural history. They just happened to come up with the coolest word.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 7h

Receptionist: Hi there, do you have an appointment?

Me: I do.

Receptionist: What's your name?

Me: Crab Man. What's yours?

Receptionist: The Shrewd Goblin.

Me: That's a beautiful name.

The Shrewd Goblin: Thank you!

Me: Do you want to maybe grab dinner some time?

The Shrewd Goblin: If you pay.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 8h

It would actually be so cool if cocaine came back into the mainstream because kids would just do it to play video games and I think that's awesome.

Reposted by Crab Man

BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · May 29

Politician just learning about the term manic pixie dream girl:

Just like any American, my biggest strength is my belief. Belief in a better world, the potential of my countrymen, and the promise of this great nation. And my biggest weakness… is women with bangs!! Haha. And I love fries as well.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 8h

I don't understand people that get freaked out by small talk. Just say you saw an article that cocaine was back in vogue and ask if anyone has any cocaine or knows where to get it.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 8h

Baseball reference is the greatest website of all time no hate. I like to think someone wrote this in hoping that a crab man would find it and think it was really funny.

Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 8h

You know it big unit.

Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 8h

I need to find some players

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 9h

Examples of successful searches

Pedro Martinez
Pedro
P Mart
Big Unit
players
awards

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 12h

(Quote post of a news article about AI being really cool, gee I wonder why they're posting headlines like that on here could be any reason)

I'n tired if pretending that this is the future is like. This is link the cheezos hither of in my computer. I'm need 1000 likes NOW + Reteents.