Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
@dylanbickers.com
(They/them) Non-binary Jewish communist. Untrained anthropologist studying the significance of shitposts. My views do not reflect those of my unemployer.
Pinned
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I, a child of rednecks and descendant of millworkers, have more in common with these men than anyone who calls them my enemy.
Chinese astronauts become the first to grill wings in space, paving the way for future uncstronauts
February 15, 2026 at 3:49 PM
I, a child of rednecks and descendant of millworkers, have more in common with these men than anyone who calls them my enemy.
Me when I’m sowing/me when I’m reaping
February 15, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Me when I’m sowing/me when I’m reaping
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Netscape's original homepage
February 15, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Netscape's original homepage
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Whenever I see a Michael Tracey tweet I think about the time he for no reason started handing it to Charles Manson and was… wrong
February 15, 2026 at 12:27 PM
Whenever I see a Michael Tracey tweet I think about the time he for no reason started handing it to Charles Manson and was… wrong
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Average Gavin Newsom voter
February 14, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Average Gavin Newsom voter
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A Waymo was stopped in the middle of an intersection in DTLA today because it couldn’t figure out what to do when a road was closed. Brilliant. The car of the future. No human could replicate this!!!
February 15, 2026 at 3:41 AM
A Waymo was stopped in the middle of an intersection in DTLA today because it couldn’t figure out what to do when a road was closed. Brilliant. The car of the future. No human could replicate this!!!
Reposted by Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
i'm smoking that shit that made superman return
February 15, 2026 at 1:50 AM
i'm smoking that shit that made superman return
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The amount of times I sit in a call with a dreamer and their dream game is basically "everything from my favorite six games smashed together into perfect harmony and there was endless flawless content and it has graphics everyone likes" and I have to explain that making feet go on stairs is hard
i think what a lot of people never seem to realize is that a lot of people's vision of an "epic dream game" isn't actually very deep and comes down to scale and/or having a lot of features, whereas by embracing limitations you can be pushed in a far more radical direction.
rpgmaker definitely isn't the right tool for everyone, but I think using opinionated pre-baked tools to make some games would be very instructive to a lot of folks setting out to make their epic custom dream game. they're a much lower-stakes way to learn important lessons like "how to tell a story"
February 14, 2026 at 11:48 PM
The amount of times I sit in a call with a dreamer and their dream game is basically "everything from my favorite six games smashed together into perfect harmony and there was endless flawless content and it has graphics everyone likes" and I have to explain that making feet go on stairs is hard
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lol this is gonna burst so fucking hard
February 14, 2026 at 11:47 PM
lol this is gonna burst so fucking hard
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hello and welcome to the political genius exam. here is question one. which is a more compelling message:
- the president is sending armies to occupy cities and kidnap and kill people and your town could be next
- a meal at the cheesecake factory that previously cost $100 now costs $104.9
- the president is sending armies to occupy cities and kidnap and kill people and your town could be next
- a meal at the cheesecake factory that previously cost $100 now costs $104.9
Romance alert: Trump's reckless tariffs have Valentine’s Day costs up across the board:
Roses 🌹16.6%
Chocolates🍫 18.7%
Ribeye 🥩 25.4%
Restaurant meals 🍽️ 4.9%
Roses 🌹16.6%
Chocolates🍫 18.7%
Ribeye 🥩 25.4%
Restaurant meals 🍽️ 4.9%
February 14, 2026 at 6:19 PM
hello and welcome to the political genius exam. here is question one. which is a more compelling message:
- the president is sending armies to occupy cities and kidnap and kill people and your town could be next
- a meal at the cheesecake factory that previously cost $100 now costs $104.9
- the president is sending armies to occupy cities and kidnap and kill people and your town could be next
- a meal at the cheesecake factory that previously cost $100 now costs $104.9
BREAKING: Barack Obungler confirms aliens are real. Reveals his greatest regret from his two terms in office was not being able to drone strike them.
February 14, 2026 at 11:23 PM
BREAKING: Barack Obungler confirms aliens are real. Reveals his greatest regret from his two terms in office was not being able to drone strike them.
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Unlike, say, data analytics giant Palantir, Ring is a surveillance network that homeowners have by and large deployed themselves, powered by fear mongering against our neighbors and unfettered consumerism.
www.404media.co/with-ring-am...
www.404media.co/with-ring-am...
With Ring, American Consumers Built a Surveillance Dragnet
Ring's 'Search Party' is dystopian surveillance accelerationism.
www.404media.co
February 14, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Unlike, say, data analytics giant Palantir, Ring is a surveillance network that homeowners have by and large deployed themselves, powered by fear mongering against our neighbors and unfettered consumerism.
www.404media.co/with-ring-am...
www.404media.co/with-ring-am...
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We are NOT gonna try to make “Minneapolis Strong” happen.
Give people money instead, you useless toad. Strong Minneapolis has been doing all the things you say here for months, with no help from you. You did jack shit except send your cops to help ICE.
Give people money instead, you useless toad. Strong Minneapolis has been doing all the things you say here for months, with no help from you. You did jack shit except send your cops to help ICE.
Big numbers. Big impact. The numbers speak for themselves when it comes to the effects of Operation Metro Surge. What can you do? Support businesses. Donate. Volunteer for a grocery run. As Assistant Chief Gaiters said today, we're Minneapolis Strong.
February 14, 2026 at 1:09 PM
We are NOT gonna try to make “Minneapolis Strong” happen.
Give people money instead, you useless toad. Strong Minneapolis has been doing all the things you say here for months, with no help from you. You did jack shit except send your cops to help ICE.
Give people money instead, you useless toad. Strong Minneapolis has been doing all the things you say here for months, with no help from you. You did jack shit except send your cops to help ICE.
Reposted by Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
Reposted by Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
"Oh, sorry to bother you, but if you could just stop scrolling a minute and I'll get outta your hair. Listen, I know you did it."
February 14, 2026 at 3:30 PM
"Oh, sorry to bother you, but if you could just stop scrolling a minute and I'll get outta your hair. Listen, I know you did it."
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“Fluent in satire” in bio 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
February 14, 2026 at 2:33 PM
“Fluent in satire” in bio 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
DHS funding lapsed that means you gotta grab the dropped mags a little more slick like.
February 14, 2026 at 5:57 AM
DHS funding lapsed that means you gotta grab the dropped mags a little more slick like.
Gavin Newsom is an opportunist and if you are credulous enough to vote for him in a primary I hope you’re credulous enough to know that if you jump off a skyscraper you can actually fly.
February 14, 2026 at 3:01 AM
Gavin Newsom is an opportunist and if you are credulous enough to vote for him in a primary I hope you’re credulous enough to know that if you jump off a skyscraper you can actually fly.
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Reposted by Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
#OnePerfectShot from THE 400 BLOWS (Truffaut, 1959)
February 14, 2026 at 1:40 AM
#OnePerfectShot from THE 400 BLOWS (Truffaut, 1959)
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papa garbage is an anti ICE account
abolish ICE abolish DHS abolish NOEM abolish HOMAN abolish IMMUNITY abolish DOLLAR STORE HIMMLER
abolish ICE abolish DHS abolish NOEM abolish HOMAN abolish IMMUNITY abolish DOLLAR STORE HIMMLER
You didn’t think all those concentration camps they want to build are only for immigrants, did you? (Gift article)
Homeland Security Wants Social Media Sites to Expose Anti-ICE Accounts
www.nytimes.com
February 14, 2026 at 1:28 AM
papa garbage is an anti ICE account
abolish ICE abolish DHS abolish NOEM abolish HOMAN abolish IMMUNITY abolish DOLLAR STORE HIMMLER
abolish ICE abolish DHS abolish NOEM abolish HOMAN abolish IMMUNITY abolish DOLLAR STORE HIMMLER
This is the only salve to the rage bait Briahna posted and I appreciate it immensely
I just published a new video — let's read Briahna Joy Gray's insane food take & decant black olives together!!! youtube.com/shorts/uw1UN...
INSANE cooking take — tacos are TOO HARD & you must DECANT OLIVES
YouTube video by TAKE MY WIFI PLEASE
youtube.com
February 14, 2026 at 1:12 AM
This is the only salve to the rage bait Briahna posted and I appreciate it immensely
Absolute fucking legend. Braver than anyone in DHS.
February 14, 2026 at 1:07 AM
Absolute fucking legend. Braver than anyone in DHS.
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Asking for passports is dumb because immigrant communities of all economic status are much more likely to have passports! Much more likely than some Fox News watching good ol boy who has never left his hometown having one!
i'm against barriers to the fanchise but it would be extremely funny if the republicans enact barriers to voting and nuke their voter base
Been toying with the same thought. Pointless barriers to voting pitched as a solution to an imaginary problem are a bad idea in principle, but Republicans seem very sure it will help them on net, and that’s not really obvious to me.
February 13, 2026 at 11:38 PM
Asking for passports is dumb because immigrant communities of all economic status are much more likely to have passports! Much more likely than some Fox News watching good ol boy who has never left his hometown having one!
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US Troops killed all the guards at Dachau for this kind of shit.
On Thanksgiving, the immigrant children held at the Dilley detention center gathered in the gym for what they thought was a holiday feast.
The kids salivated over a spread of turkey, sandwiches, pastries and pies, a family told me.
But the food wasn’t for detainees — it was for the staff.
The kids salivated over a spread of turkey, sandwiches, pastries and pies, a family told me.
But the food wasn’t for detainees — it was for the staff.
February 13, 2026 at 8:45 PM
US Troops killed all the guards at Dachau for this kind of shit.