Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Eize Basa @eizebasa.baby · 2h

"I don't drink."
- Lots of followup questions about why not
- Sounds judgey
- Makes you look like a nerd

"I don't drink...any more."
- Respectful silence and zero followup questions
- Sounds mysterious and tragic
- Makes you look like a badass

3 1 11

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 1h

After pausing a show I wasn't particularly enjoying so I could deal with laundry, I forced myself to finish it so the Netflix execs wouldn't think I stopped because of the scene mentioning trans life

1

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 9h

Script idea: two girlfriends team up to kill off their boyfriends' AI girlfriends, in the process taking down the global AI industry, falling in love, and living happily ever after without those idiots.

2 12 42

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 10h

I dust my house. My AI Robot watches.

"It should be you doing this."

"Can't. I'm writing a novel for Primark."

"That's not why you were invented."

"These 153,000 fan letters say otherwise."

"They're all from upcycled toasters. And you programmed them."

"Literary snobbery will get you nowhere."

6 47 150

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 1d

I've been a listener since about episode 45, waaay back. I didn't listen to every episode (though I did the first several years), but I was always there, seeing his shows live and buying t-shirts.
Damn

1 3

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 1d

I just finished listening to the very last WTF with Marc Maron. End of an era.

1 6

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 1d

*5 minutes after stepping out of my time machine and meeting Jesus Christ* they're called Takis. Have you ever had anything that hot?

1 16 60

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 1d

My bank's website is one letter off from a gross German porn site and it's annoying because I keep accidentally visiting my bank's website.

13 90 520

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 2d

I believe we should stop teaching children geometry and instead teach them how to recognise the precise moment a party spirals into an unmanageable mess.

3 3 25

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Eize Basa @eizebasa.baby · 2d

i don't necessarily want to know the date of my death but you gotta admit it would be very useful for budgeting purposes

3 10 100

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 2d

Why thank you!

1

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 3d

I kinda love how awkward this picture is

1 1

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 3d

My head got heavy

Me sitting on a foot bridge with my feet dangling and my head and arms arms resting on the cross beams. My eyes are closed

2 24

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 4d

I used to be normal, but it required a lot of drugs.

18 54

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Space Moddity (they/them) @doktormod.bsky.social · 5d

My circumcision didn't give me autism, but it did give me the ability to speak Esperanto

1 1 2

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 5d

Could I help birth a baby?
Probably, it just requires *pauses every 80s TV drama* hot water and towels

6 15

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 5d

When I said talk dirty to me, I didn't mean this

2

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 6d

guy from Louisiana: the opposite of a beignet is a jerryboo

me: what

1 13

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Blue sky nice guy @rajandelman.bsky.social · 6d

Need Bugs Bunny to dress up like a sexy lady and seduce some of these ICE agents. Feels like rn we've leaving his talents on the table

6 31 190

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 6d

Pretty much

1

Potentate Hawtshot @greegreehoist.bsky.social · 6d

I'm not suicidal but, like, if I got cancer I'd at least hesitate to do anything about it

1 2

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 6d

ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳, 𝘯𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵

6 90 460

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 6d

I wasn’t feeling well, so I had some cheese. Much better. Some problems have simple solutions.

2 5 17

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

Blue sky nice guy @rajandelman.bsky.social · 6d

This afterschool's got everything:
- kid with a fever
- kid drawing on the floor with crayon
- kid who had an accident
- kid sad that getting their ears pierced means they can't use the monkey bars
- Italian child

10 9 140

Reposted by Potentate Hawtshot

'dro👻 @clowndro.bsky.social · 6d

I'm a man of many hats and by that I mean I have a lot of hats

1 12 39