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Matty

@bestestname.bsky.social

8.6K followers 1.4K following 1.8K posts

Bluesky is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:n3kxj4fonot7lg67tmakj4dn/feed/aaacgs3xfjaw4

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · Jun 11

Would be endlessly helpful if everyone got their name tattooed on their face

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Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 1d

I would be unstoppable if I stopped stopping

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 1d

Where was Hamburger Helper when the Titanic was sinking?

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 1d

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison

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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 1d

You haven’t met a Canadian asshole until you’ve met a Canada goose.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

On the bright side, we now need a much smaller venue for the Bsky prom.

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Pete Pann @isgd2bhi.bsky.social · 14d

people will criticize your dreams.

"you can't marry the moon."

"being sad is not a real job."

"stop summoning the devil."

ignore them. be real. be yourself.

start a cult.

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 2d

Why are they called air marshals and not plane clothes policemen

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 2d

Reverse cowgirl so you can perform a spinal manipulation to treat my sciatica

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · Jun 22

Much like the current administration, I have no idea what I’m going to fuck up today.

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 2d

The sex shop is advertising "pumpkin spice lube" and THIS NEEDS TO STOP, PEOPLE

Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 2d

Had a lovely vegetarian meal on Saturday, and I should stop farting sometime in 2027

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 2d

It's really hard when people live in an entirely different reality. I'm sure I'm completely delusional about my own set of things, but I'm at least trying to challenge my own beliefs

Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 2d

You know Buchanan was worse

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

We can smell Mastodon’s perfume on you.

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 2d

I can't explain how confusing it is to live in Portland quietly going to kids' soccer practices and cool coffee shops and be told that is a war zone by people who don't live here that it is a hellscape

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 2d

To be fair, it would be better if I was psychic

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50501: The People’s Movement ❌👑 @50501movement.bsky.social · 3d

Why are we posting so much frog content?

Because it totally undermines the propaganda of the Trump regime.

We are peaceful frogs. The regime’s secret police are violent agitators.

When we expose the ridiculousness of their lies, the regime loses credibility and support.

Stay froggy, y’all! 🐸✊