Hundo P
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sarco.bsky.social
Hundo P
@sarco.bsky.social
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One of the funniest self owns is people complaining about how dumb people are at the airport and not realizing there's a separate airport for smart people they aren't invited to
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GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR LINEN PANTS.
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
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save this for later
November 15, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Me calling down the thunder: what's up bitch come get some

Me after the thunder has arrived: hey listen I think there's been a misunderstanding
November 15, 2025 at 11:43 PM
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"Your response to stimuli is stimuli to me" that's so seductive but I assure you I can silent disco without the cap guns
November 15, 2025 at 5:48 AM
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My mid-life crisis will take the form of a tattoo of the Loch Ness Monster with chainsaw tits
November 15, 2025 at 12:10 AM
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You kids think saying numbers is cool? 67? How 'bout 9/11? Still having fun? Didn't think so.
November 15, 2025 at 1:36 AM
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I am physically unable to go through a yellow light without saying "ha ha haa" in a menacing voice
November 14, 2025 at 1:06 PM
People telling me I'm going to face repercussions need to calm down like I haven't even faced the percussions yet
November 15, 2025 at 2:30 AM
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Listen my punk, if we keep jumping up and down about love in skinny ties not mad at all, people will say we're power pop
November 14, 2025 at 4:53 PM
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Setting the clock back to the Middle Ages and investing in leeches.
November 15, 2025 at 1:35 AM
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When people ask why I eat my peas with a knife, I tell them that it's a Julie thing. It makes sense because that's my name.
November 15, 2025 at 1:51 AM
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Now, a message from Rev. Dr. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Julie Lavender Menace is a big, dumb... big.... I don't like her very much. God bless.
November 13, 2025 at 2:13 PM
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Last night I dreamt my toenails were catalogued for the great World Toenail Compendium, which was an honour I wasn't expecting, in all honesty.
November 13, 2025 at 2:40 PM
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I can’t explain religious phenomenons, but the lady w smokers wrinkles buying scratch offs bitchin there’s never any sweet & low is a mystic—cause when she calls you “hon”—it’s healing.
November 13, 2025 at 3:10 PM
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I deeply love deli clerks. They are keepers of the light.
November 13, 2025 at 3:32 PM
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In a parallel universe I'm living everything the same after the cross-universe lawsuit about keeping backup files
November 13, 2025 at 4:50 PM
6 out there acting like 7 eating 9 was the crime of the century. We are all animals in a jungle, and 9 was simply lower on the food chain.
November 13, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Introducing The 2026 Living Room Concert Series (I break into your house at 3:00 am and play guitar on your couch)
November 13, 2025 at 7:04 PM
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I took those triangle shaped pieces out of my cat's Meow Mix and boy did she get pissed.
October 17, 2025 at 12:55 PM
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It was a scene right out of a time standing still, you asking me to pause it, me having already paused it as I'll never want any of our moments to end and actually I hit play again in the eternity it took you to ask, but it's over. We miss fighting in blockbuster
November 4, 2025 at 5:40 AM
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Well aren’t you just the brightest firefly in the jar…
November 4, 2025 at 11:35 AM
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Them: *nothing*
Me: OK so my socks are mismatched cause when I lose a cute one I feel sad to throw it away so that’s why one’s a Rottweiler & the other says OZZY
November 4, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Was saddened to hear of Dick Cheney's passing. In his honor I'll be killing a shit load of people for money.
November 5, 2025 at 3:08 AM