Author | Lightnews

Hundo P

@sarco.bsky.social

4.3K followers 350 following 1.1K posts

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6kye3r75exjwspbk3j3cd75i/feed/aaah3r3onxn4e

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Hundo P @sarco.bsky.social · Aug 4

One of the funniest self owns is people complaining about how dumb people are at the airport and not realizing there's a separate airport for smart people they aren't invited to

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 6d

if i wake up in pain i wasn't in when i went to sleep, i just assume i fought the monster under the bed. clearly i won, because it's gone

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 4d

I QUESTION ONE GLASS OF WATER TURNING INTO WINE AND SUDDENLY I'M ANTICHRIST.

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Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 4d

Not leaving this platform but now offering a digest of my posts in the form of a 3 page annual Holiday Letter

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 4d

Once we sepia tone the single futuristic color, our much anticipated silver, shit's gonna be gold again. Remember, a vote for alchemy is a transmutation of selfie

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 4d

Have you ever caught yourself blowing your nose into your own hair while you were on the 53rd level of Candy Crush?

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 3d

How much do we really love that we met on a piece of scratch paper? Let's cross that out and see what if we met showing our work on the actual test

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Hundo P @sarco.bsky.social · 3d

Excuses are like assholes I have a terabyte of the ones I find useful/interesting stored on an external hard drive

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 27d

*stores you inside my cigar box filled with pressed flowers*

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Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 27d

Sitting on the porch all day peeling and pitting a whole family size bag of peanut m&ms

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 27d

Something happened, and I said that, yup, that's how that happens. Then I felt for some reason what I said was important enough to write down.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 26d

eating mashed potatoes with butter, heavy cream, fresh mozzarella, olive oil and balsamic vinegar because I've been lifting (the weight of my mother's expectations)

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 25d

Unless you are Indigenous, that is not your spirit animal. That is just a cat eating a burrito.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 25d

Plants aren't intimidated so just grow out from the cracks of every perfect version you wish you were. For example, I'm the flower in the mouth of a gargoyle who is way better at diverting water than me

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Hundo P @sarco.bsky.social · 25d

I asked chatgpt to whip me up a recipe for a fun drink I invented called the Blueberry Bombegranate and the main ingredient is antifreeze

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · Sep 19

I'm here to remind you that there are a lot of wonderful things outside. What if you went on a quest to find out what makes them happy? I'm on drugs.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · Sep 19

Looking for a walking machine (a machine that goes out and walks for me while I stay home and cry).

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · Sep 19

You ever audition for real talk, brutal. I played Shakespeare's reverse reverse psychology in high school and just lied there

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · Sep 19

Hi, which of the Four Horsemen are you? I'm Pants.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · Sep 20

We find our zero in not one single heroic situation but we do not find it in negative one single heroic situation either so

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · Sep 11

Draw a line in the sand. Draw another one. And another one. Okay one more. Now I you've got tic tac toe and oh my god the lines are filled with blood. I don't understand why you are so mad at this beach.

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · Sep 10

They couldn’t fit “girl most likely to ask if you dare her to smoke catnip & does it anyway even if you don’t dare her because she just hadda know” in my yearbook

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · Sep 10

You are my Morning Glory

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · Sep 11

They said we were careless surfaces, that we'd just cross contaminate each other. We called it sharing everything. Then we called it ok to wash between secrets

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · Sep 11

Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Haha! Fooled you! It's a me, Julie! Come join me for milk and cookies bingo. Mr. Menace is going to put on a puppet show! God bless.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · Sep 11

Filling out forms just to throw them away as a therapeutic activity. Let's see, what a cool middle initial today it's X or Q. The address is uninhabitable, but legible. Lol. Medical history, that of the dodo. And it's already got one like from a mental health question.

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