Patrick Stokes
@patrickstokes.com
A/Prof of Philosophy at Deakin Uni (all views mine). Writer, radio producer, half of The Fake McCoys. Works on digital death, personal identity, Kierkegaard, moral phil. Has more hobbies than advisable. Melbourne + Werona
https://linktr.ee/patstokes
https://linktr.ee/patstokes
Pinned
Patrick Stokes
@patrickstokes.com
· Feb 22
My first pen commission! A former student of mine commissioned a fountain pen in Purpleheart (Peltogyne purpurea), a timber which goes purple when exposed to UV light. But that means when you turn it down to pen size, you're left with dull brown wood. Here's how to bring the purple back quickly:
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
thinking of this classic tweet on thanksgiving day
November 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
thinking of this classic tweet on thanksgiving day
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
I can't believe it
An 86-year-old dairy farmer claims this year's Dairy Science Award for his spreadable butter invention in the early 70s.
Dairy 'disrupter' who invented spreadable butter in 70s wins science award
An 86-year-old dairy farmer claims this year's Dairy Science Award for his spreadable butter invention in the early 70s.
www.abc.net.au
November 28, 2025 at 3:14 AM
I can't believe it
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
I heard there was a secret chat
That David knew, and it pleased his cat
But you don't really PSPSPSPSP do you?
That David knew, and it pleased his cat
But you don't really PSPSPSPSP do you?
December 15, 2024 at 9:09 PM
I heard there was a secret chat
That David knew, and it pleased his cat
But you don't really PSPSPSPSP do you?
That David knew, and it pleased his cat
But you don't really PSPSPSPSP do you?
GOVT: We must prevent under-16s from being exposed to inappropriate material.
TEENS: We'll just go to other apps. Here's one called 'Lemon8' Everyone to Lemon8! It's time for a Lemon Party!
TEENS: We'll just go to other apps. Here's one called 'Lemon8' Everyone to Lemon8! It's time for a Lemon Party!
Scoop: The most popular apps in Australia right now are social media platforms not included in the teen ban (so far).
This comes as teens make videos recommending that they all migrate to these alternative platforms to get around the ban — something experts warned about.
www.crikey.com.au/20...
This comes as teens make videos recommending that they all migrate to these alternative platforms to get around the ban — something experts warned about.
www.crikey.com.au/20...
November 28, 2025 at 12:07 AM
GOVT: We must prevent under-16s from being exposed to inappropriate material.
TEENS: We'll just go to other apps. Here's one called 'Lemon8' Everyone to Lemon8! It's time for a Lemon Party!
TEENS: We'll just go to other apps. Here's one called 'Lemon8' Everyone to Lemon8! It's time for a Lemon Party!
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
In this way Ned Kelly is very much the Bert Newton of doing crimes
November 27, 2025 at 11:54 PM
In this way Ned Kelly is very much the Bert Newton of doing crimes
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
my Perth friend: “you Victorians all think everyone loves Ned Kelly. NO ONE ELSE CARES”
November 27, 2025 at 11:40 PM
my Perth friend: “you Victorians all think everyone loves Ned Kelly. NO ONE ELSE CARES”
Late contender for best news quote of 2025: "At the end of the day, most people do not give a shit about Ned Kelly’s rotating three-dimensional helmet."
State Library of Victoria faces job cuts as staff accuse management of pursuing ‘digital vanity projects’
Under the plan, 39 jobs would be lost and the public-facing workforce of reference librarians would be cut from 25 staff to 10
www.theguardian.com
November 27, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Late contender for best news quote of 2025: "At the end of the day, most people do not give a shit about Ned Kelly’s rotating three-dimensional helmet."
Once again, hello to every single retailer on earth all of whom have my email address somehow
Hey did you know tomorrow is Black Friday? Just in case you didn't, every business you have ever interacted with in your entire life just emailed and texted to remind you.
November 27, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Once again, hello to every single retailer on earth all of whom have my email address somehow
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
Pharrell Williams confirmed as another world famous multi-millionaire who chose to live in a house that looks like it should be called the North Strabane Esat-Digifone Retail Hub & Business Park.
November 26, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Pharrell Williams confirmed as another world famous multi-millionaire who chose to live in a house that looks like it should be called the North Strabane Esat-Digifone Retail Hub & Business Park.
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
Cadbury Milk Tray Bar (1947-1981): A massive milk chocolate bar, made in a special mold that featured 14 individual pieces of chocolate, all connected, and each with a different filling. It was essentially an entire box of chocolates in bar form, available only in the U.K.
May 16, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Cadbury Milk Tray Bar (1947-1981): A massive milk chocolate bar, made in a special mold that featured 14 individual pieces of chocolate, all connected, and each with a different filling. It was essentially an entire box of chocolates in bar form, available only in the U.K.
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
Ancient NSW mythology tells us that at the passing of a Premier, their soul was escorted through the underworld and brought before the god Icac, who would weigh their corruption against a bottle of Penfolds
The greatest Australian honour is no medal or ribbon or postnominal set of letters, it is the privilege any one of us can have, to be called before the ICAC, and tell them lies
November 26, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Ancient NSW mythology tells us that at the passing of a Premier, their soul was escorted through the underworld and brought before the god Icac, who would weigh their corruption against a bottle of Penfolds
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
Need a good news story?
Mohamed Semra, 10 years ago was pulled up outside an Apple Store, because "he might steal something".
He's a Sudanese refugee, aged 27, who is now Mayor of Maribynong, Melbourne, where the Apple Store resides […]
Mohamed Semra, 10 years ago was pulled up outside an Apple Store, because "he might steal something".
He's a Sudanese refugee, aged 27, who is now Mayor of Maribynong, Melbourne, where the Apple Store resides […]
Original post on mastodon.social
mastodon.social
November 26, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Need a good news story?
Mohamed Semra, 10 years ago was pulled up outside an Apple Store, because "he might steal something".
He's a Sudanese refugee, aged 27, who is now Mayor of Maribynong, Melbourne, where the Apple Store resides […]
Mohamed Semra, 10 years ago was pulled up outside an Apple Store, because "he might steal something".
He's a Sudanese refugee, aged 27, who is now Mayor of Maribynong, Melbourne, where the Apple Store resides […]
Only two in a week? Lad needs more shell grit and sunlight.
November 26, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Only two in a week? Lad needs more shell grit and sunlight.
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
You know what food I hate? Your personal favourite food. Inedible garbage.
November 25, 2025 at 9:48 PM
You know what food I hate? Your personal favourite food. Inedible garbage.
Ireland has a military intelligence agency and police intelligence (including counterintelligence) like everyone else. The idea that every nation has to have an MI6/CIA analogue is not merely wrong, it's actively harmful.
And saying 'hello' is exactly what you're meant to do with suspicious ships.
And saying 'hello' is exactly what you're meant to do with suspicious ships.
Despite these high stakes, Ireland has no dedicated intelligence agency, just four working navy vessels and the smallest defence budget in the EU. In fact, the only thing the Irish navy can do when it spots a suspicious ship lurking is say “hello”.
November 26, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Ireland has a military intelligence agency and police intelligence (including counterintelligence) like everyone else. The idea that every nation has to have an MI6/CIA analogue is not merely wrong, it's actively harmful.
And saying 'hello' is exactly what you're meant to do with suspicious ships.
And saying 'hello' is exactly what you're meant to do with suspicious ships.
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
I am a vocal cheerleader for Victoria in general and Melbourne in particular. As a polity we have done some amazing things, and of these we should be proud. But also we seem incapable of saying 'no' to cops.
You might think that this doesn't affect you. Maybe not now.
I have observed how the police have been applying the 'salami technique'. Slice by slice, our rights are being infringed.
Do you think many Americans predicted what is currently happening to them?
www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
I have observed how the police have been applying the 'salami technique'. Slice by slice, our rights are being infringed.
Do you think many Americans predicted what is currently happening to them?
www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
‘Vast overreach’: police allowed to conduct warrantless pat-downs of people across inner Melbourne for six months
Search powers, usually reserved for protests, will be in effect in the CBD and beyond in a move criticised by human rights groups
www.theguardian.com
November 25, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I am a vocal cheerleader for Victoria in general and Melbourne in particular. As a polity we have done some amazing things, and of these we should be proud. But also we seem incapable of saying 'no' to cops.
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
November 25, 2025 at 8:44 PM
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
also stop calling us "mainstream scientists" like there's a cooler bunch of hipster scientists out there
November 25, 2025 at 8:19 PM
also stop calling us "mainstream scientists" like there's a cooler bunch of hipster scientists out there
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
I really wish we'd stop calling them climate "skeptics" or "vaccine skeptics", if you jump off a cliff we don't call you a "gravity skeptic"
November 25, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I really wish we'd stop calling them climate "skeptics" or "vaccine skeptics", if you jump off a cliff we don't call you a "gravity skeptic"
Genuinely curious why politics correlates with a 15 percentage point difference in belief in aliens. (Please tell me it has nothing to do with the word 'alien' in the immigration context)
New polling on aliens
% of U.S. adult citizens who believe the following definitely or probably exist:
Aliens 56%
Bigfoot 28%
The Yeti 23%
The Loch Ness Monster 22%
Chupacabra 16%
today.yougov.com/health/artic...
% of U.S. adult citizens who believe the following definitely or probably exist:
Aliens 56%
Bigfoot 28%
The Yeti 23%
The Loch Ness Monster 22%
Chupacabra 16%
today.yougov.com/health/artic...
November 25, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Genuinely curious why politics correlates with a 15 percentage point difference in belief in aliens. (Please tell me it has nothing to do with the word 'alien' in the immigration context)
Sad, but they really needed the soup.
The beloved Galapagos tortoise named Gramma, the oldest resident of the San Diego Zoo at an estimated 141 years, has died.
Gramma the Galápagos tortoise, oldest resident of San Diego Zoo, dies at about 141
The beloved Galápagos tortoise named Gramma that was the oldest resident of the San Diego Zoo at an estimated 141 years has died. Zoo officials say she died on Nov. 20.
bit.ly
November 25, 2025 at 11:52 AM
Sad, but they really needed the soup.
Finally got fed up with not understanding what Elizabeth Fraser is singing on Massive Attack's 'Teardrop' (or, indeed, anything) and looked up the lyrics. I don't think I could have been more wrong if it was actually in Gaelic.
November 25, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Finally got fed up with not understanding what Elizabeth Fraser is singing on Massive Attack's 'Teardrop' (or, indeed, anything) and looked up the lyrics. I don't think I could have been more wrong if it was actually in Gaelic.
YOU, A FOOL, A VACUOUS BUFFOON: Shields stepping down is an opportunity to reflect on his deeply divisive stewardship of a storied masthead at a perhaps fatal moment in Australian media history.
ME, A MAGNIFICENT BRAIN GENIUS: hahah Jordan Baker, like in The Great Gatsby
ME, A MAGNIFICENT BRAIN GENIUS: hahah Jordan Baker, like in The Great Gatsby
Jordan Baker appointed editor of the Herald as Bevan Shields steps down
Baker, the chief reporter for the Herald, will start in the new role in 2026.
www.smh.com.au
November 25, 2025 at 6:01 AM
YOU, A FOOL, A VACUOUS BUFFOON: Shields stepping down is an opportunity to reflect on his deeply divisive stewardship of a storied masthead at a perhaps fatal moment in Australian media history.
ME, A MAGNIFICENT BRAIN GENIUS: hahah Jordan Baker, like in The Great Gatsby
ME, A MAGNIFICENT BRAIN GENIUS: hahah Jordan Baker, like in The Great Gatsby
Oh let me just put your mind at ease there: the one thing you never have to worry about with either Hanson or Joyce is that they will *under*-cook steak.
November 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Oh let me just put your mind at ease there: the one thing you never have to worry about with either Hanson or Joyce is that they will *under*-cook steak.
Reposted by Patrick Stokes
Properly moving xkcd
xkcd.com/3172/
xkcd.com/3172/
Fifteen Years
xkcd.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Properly moving xkcd
xkcd.com/3172/
xkcd.com/3172/