Patrick Lappin
@patricklappin.bsky.social
Writer, former retweeter, internet enthusiast, Aston Villa fan (doesn't want to talk about it). Thank you, and sorry.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
with my last wish i chose immortality not because i enjoy being alive i just have so many people i need to watch die
November 25, 2025 at 2:52 PM
with my last wish i chose immortality not because i enjoy being alive i just have so many people i need to watch die
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Just do 1p on the basic rate of Income Tax. No one would notice after six months. I beg.
November 25, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Just do 1p on the basic rate of Income Tax. No one would notice after six months. I beg.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
November 25, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
14 words and not a single one wasted 👏👏👏
November 24, 2025 at 7:41 PM
14 words and not a single one wasted 👏👏👏
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
ME: wanna hear a joke
BSKY REPLY PERSON: a what
BSKY REPLY PERSON: a what
January 18, 2025 at 3:32 AM
ME: wanna hear a joke
BSKY REPLY PERSON: a what
BSKY REPLY PERSON: a what
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Armchair critics and door knockers
November 24, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Armchair critics and door knockers
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Become an indentured labourer?
Dubai on a budget: How to visit the winter sun destination for less
Dubai on a budget: How to visit the winter sun destination for less
Dubai on a budget: How to visit the winter sun destination for less
www.independent.co.uk
November 24, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Become an indentured labourer?
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
The fact that in both 2019 and 2024, the winning party did so with a set of manifesto promises that could not be kept and dissolved upon contact with actual office is something that as an industry we should be much more bothered by than we are.
November 23, 2025 at 12:35 PM
The fact that in both 2019 and 2024, the winning party did so with a set of manifesto promises that could not be kept and dissolved upon contact with actual office is something that as an industry we should be much more bothered by than we are.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
This is bizarre. Like the editor of the guardian or mail or any other paper complaining repeatedly about the front page lead they decided to run with.
Very good example of what's wrong with broadcast news - they've given up deciding for themselves what is or isn't news and what the priorities are
Very good example of what's wrong with broadcast news - they've given up deciding for themselves what is or isn't news and what the priorities are
It’s a sign of how insane the news cycle is these days that this historic failure of government policy got just one day of news coverage this week.
Not saying that’s right or wrong, but it’s astonishing how quickly the agenda moves on these days.
Not saying that’s right or wrong, but it’s astonishing how quickly the agenda moves on these days.
BREAKING: UK’s response to Covid was “too little too late”. Acting faster could have saved 23,000 lives in England according to the public inquiry.
Boris Johnson presided over a “toxic, sexist, chaotic culture” in No10, where rule-breaking seriously undermined public confidence.
Boris Johnson presided over a “toxic, sexist, chaotic culture” in No10, where rule-breaking seriously undermined public confidence.
November 23, 2025 at 12:26 PM
This is bizarre. Like the editor of the guardian or mail or any other paper complaining repeatedly about the front page lead they decided to run with.
Very good example of what's wrong with broadcast news - they've given up deciding for themselves what is or isn't news and what the priorities are
Very good example of what's wrong with broadcast news - they've given up deciding for themselves what is or isn't news and what the priorities are
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
"We grant people different rights based on their genetic heritage and on which scrap of land they happened to be born on. That’s mad, isn’t it?"
I just think, when debating immigration and so on, that we should try not to lose sight of the fact that "nationality" is a made up thing.
I just think, when debating immigration and so on, that we should try not to lose sight of the fact that "nationality" is a made up thing.
Why does nationality matter, anyway?
Deciding someone's legal rights based on a nebulous combination of birthplace and parentage is a bit weird
www.newstatesman.com
November 23, 2025 at 11:33 AM
"We grant people different rights based on their genetic heritage and on which scrap of land they happened to be born on. That’s mad, isn’t it?"
I just think, when debating immigration and so on, that we should try not to lose sight of the fact that "nationality" is a made up thing.
I just think, when debating immigration and so on, that we should try not to lose sight of the fact that "nationality" is a made up thing.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
You see this also with the “we have to reduce immigration or racism will get worse”. The average person who thinks immigration is too high does not think that makes gutter racism ok and does not agree with, e.g. “let’s do a Partition scale ethnic cleansing in the UK”.
Sorry to keep banging on about it but it's literally *they are on Twitter and think it's the majority view*
This is pretty striking and makes me wonder exactly what Labour have been up to in making policy seemingly in response to / fear of the former rather than the middle group.
November 22, 2025 at 8:17 PM
You see this also with the “we have to reduce immigration or racism will get worse”. The average person who thinks immigration is too high does not think that makes gutter racism ok and does not agree with, e.g. “let’s do a Partition scale ethnic cleansing in the UK”.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Everybody is always so impressed when a mother lifts up a car to save a child that is pinned beneath it, but if you use *the exact same* amount of strength to pick up a car and put it on a kid you're somehow a monster.
November 21, 2025 at 11:44 AM
Everybody is always so impressed when a mother lifts up a car to save a child that is pinned beneath it, but if you use *the exact same* amount of strength to pick up a car and put it on a kid you're somehow a monster.
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When we’ve finished making love I like to make a pinging sound like the microwave as I feel it adds a little whimsical fun to things, and it also lets my wife know that I fully understand my birthday is over for another year.
November 20, 2025 at 2:22 PM
When we’ve finished making love I like to make a pinging sound like the microwave as I feel it adds a little whimsical fun to things, and it also lets my wife know that I fully understand my birthday is over for another year.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Hey if you want a Xmas gift for the boardgame lover in your life (even if that person is you) then my book THE GAME CHANGERS (US title: Across The Board) is all about the history & culture of tabletop games. Hopefully it is surprising, amusing & interesting.
www.waterstones.com/book/the-gam...
www.waterstones.com/book/the-gam...
The Game Changers by Tim Clare | Waterstones
Buy The Game Changers by Tim Clare from Waterstones today! Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over £25.
www.waterstones.com
November 18, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Hey if you want a Xmas gift for the boardgame lover in your life (even if that person is you) then my book THE GAME CHANGERS (US title: Across The Board) is all about the history & culture of tabletop games. Hopefully it is surprising, amusing & interesting.
www.waterstones.com/book/the-gam...
www.waterstones.com/book/the-gam...
I know it's really unhelpful to say to a psychotic person, "why are you being mad?" But I really want to ask the Labour Party, "why are you being mad?"
November 16, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I know it's really unhelpful to say to a psychotic person, "why are you being mad?" But I really want to ask the Labour Party, "why are you being mad?"
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
We might be fighting this for the rest of our lives, but fight it we will.
Not everyone is unhappy about the Government's descent into anti-refugee politics
November 16, 2025 at 1:06 PM
We might be fighting this for the rest of our lives, but fight it we will.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Morally awful, administratively impossible & expensive.. and politically, the reverse of Starmer's panicked conference speech. A govt completely at sea, terrified & incoherent, throwing basic principles overboard in desperation
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
UK set to limit refugees to temporary stays
Shabana Mahmood is expected to say the era of permanent protection for refugees is over, in major changes to the UK's asylum and immigration system.
www.bbc.co.uk
November 15, 2025 at 9:32 AM
Morally awful, administratively impossible & expensive.. and politically, the reverse of Starmer's panicked conference speech. A govt completely at sea, terrified & incoherent, throwing basic principles overboard in desperation
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Ultimately it comes down to what you're going to say at the next election.
Would you rather say "we broke our pledge but at least things are better" or "everything's still shit but at least we kept our pledge"?
Would you rather say "we broke our pledge but at least things are better" or "everything's still shit but at least we kept our pledge"?
Too much analysis was still treating breaking the tax pledge as “just another unpopular decision” rather than recognising consequence of breaking a promise which defined an election for the public. If is correct the govt won’t now break it they may have avoided a deeply scarring loss of public trust
November 14, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Ultimately it comes down to what you're going to say at the next election.
Would you rather say "we broke our pledge but at least things are better" or "everything's still shit but at least we kept our pledge"?
Would you rather say "we broke our pledge but at least things are better" or "everything's still shit but at least we kept our pledge"?
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
The good thing about u-turning on tax rises before you ever do them is you get most of the popularity for considering the hike, some bonus popularity for looking incompetent and indecisive, AND none of the revenue
November 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
The good thing about u-turning on tax rises before you ever do them is you get most of the popularity for considering the hike, some bonus popularity for looking incompetent and indecisive, AND none of the revenue
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
If you’re going to make your entire political pitch ‘only I can keep the bond market in check’, you sort of have to keep the bond market in check.
November 14, 2025 at 8:21 AM
If you’re going to make your entire political pitch ‘only I can keep the bond market in check’, you sort of have to keep the bond market in check.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Okay, that's a good start. Now release the Kelly Rowland Excel Spreadsheets.
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Okay, that's a good start. Now release the Kelly Rowland Excel Spreadsheets.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Can none of these millionaires sex criminals write in full sentences? Have you heard of paragraphs? Punctuation? No wonder ChatGPT sounds like a genius to these clowns.
November 13, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Can none of these millionaires sex criminals write in full sentences? Have you heard of paragraphs? Punctuation? No wonder ChatGPT sounds like a genius to these clowns.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
every morning Keir Starmer goes into the Leon in Westminster and downs three raw eggs in a to-go cup. the server asks him if he's okay and if there's someone she can call.
"call Chris Mason. tell him I just ate three eggs and everyone in the shop was very impressed. tell him I am like Rocky please"
"call Chris Mason. tell him I just ate three eggs and everyone in the shop was very impressed. tell him I am like Rocky please"
November 12, 2025 at 10:59 AM
every morning Keir Starmer goes into the Leon in Westminster and downs three raw eggs in a to-go cup. the server asks him if he's okay and if there's someone she can call.
"call Chris Mason. tell him I just ate three eggs and everyone in the shop was very impressed. tell him I am like Rocky please"
"call Chris Mason. tell him I just ate three eggs and everyone in the shop was very impressed. tell him I am like Rocky please"
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
every morning Keir Starmer calls an aide into his room at 6.30am to film him doing bicep curls
"leak this to the Daily Mail" he says between grunts. "say that friends of Keir are concerned about how strong he is right now"
the aide nods, holding up the phone. it's not filming. it's never filming.
"leak this to the Daily Mail" he says between grunts. "say that friends of Keir are concerned about how strong he is right now"
the aide nods, holding up the phone. it's not filming. it's never filming.
November 12, 2025 at 9:56 AM
every morning Keir Starmer calls an aide into his room at 6.30am to film him doing bicep curls
"leak this to the Daily Mail" he says between grunts. "say that friends of Keir are concerned about how strong he is right now"
the aide nods, holding up the phone. it's not filming. it's never filming.
"leak this to the Daily Mail" he says between grunts. "say that friends of Keir are concerned about how strong he is right now"
the aide nods, holding up the phone. it's not filming. it's never filming.
Reposted by Patrick Lappin
Yes. This ludicrous phrase 'woke right' seems a fairly blatant attempt by people on the actual right to somehow associate the blatant & hideous racism they have ushered in - whether through complacency, incompetence or malice - with the people who warned it was happening.
Anti-racism is of course welcome but the nonsensical phrase “woke right” is a very clear sign that a writer as lost it
"This week the woke right took to saying that people who are black aren't properly British" complains Danny Finkelstein.
No, Danny, Douglas Murray, who you patronised, promoted and admired, has been saying *exactly this* for over a decade.
archive.ph/2025.11.12-0...
No, Danny, Douglas Murray, who you patronised, promoted and admired, has been saying *exactly this* for over a decade.
archive.ph/2025.11.12-0...
November 12, 2025 at 9:14 AM
Yes. This ludicrous phrase 'woke right' seems a fairly blatant attempt by people on the actual right to somehow associate the blatant & hideous racism they have ushered in - whether through complacency, incompetence or malice - with the people who warned it was happening.