Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
@mslisam.bsky.social
Movies. Music. Cats. Pistachios. Laughter.
"As seen on Twitter"
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dcv4ovbbznx6wknbpukm3tye/feed/aaacjgywm5ney
"As seen on Twitter"
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dcv4ovbbznx6wknbpukm3tye/feed/aaacjgywm5ney
Pinned
This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Taking care of elderly parents is like parenting a toddler with a driver's license and a checking account.
November 23, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Taking care of elderly parents is like parenting a toddler with a driver's license and a checking account.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
*walks out of the woods in the mall parking lot*
“I can cut your hair.”
“I can cut your hair.”
November 15, 2025 at 4:18 PM
*walks out of the woods in the mall parking lot*
“I can cut your hair.”
“I can cut your hair.”
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I want to get hospitalized for exhaustion like a celebrity.
November 17, 2025 at 1:19 PM
I want to get hospitalized for exhaustion like a celebrity.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I know origami, and I’m not afraid to fold you into a swan.
November 18, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I know origami, and I’m not afraid to fold you into a swan.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
You can tell how a woman feels about you by the way she twirls her hair and keys your car.
November 19, 2025 at 7:19 PM
You can tell how a woman feels about you by the way she twirls her hair and keys your car.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Or shitty women too. To be fair
November 19, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Or shitty women too. To be fair
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
How many years is a mental breakdown supposed to last?
November 20, 2025 at 9:41 PM
How many years is a mental breakdown supposed to last?
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Grinning at your phone because you posted something dumb.
November 21, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Grinning at your phone because you posted something dumb.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Drinking iced coffee in the winter is a lifestyle.
November 21, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Drinking iced coffee in the winter is a lifestyle.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
[Scrolling through Netflix]
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No…
*2 hours later*
...No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No…
*2 hours later*
...No
April 20, 2024 at 1:00 PM
[Scrolling through Netflix]
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No…
*2 hours later*
...No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No…
*2 hours later*
...No
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
If a movie sequel is subtitled ‘The Final Chapter’ there are 3 things of which you can be certain:
1. It will not be a good movie
2. The producers know that the series should have ended 2 movies ago
3. It will in fact turn out not to be the final chapter, anyway
1. It will not be a good movie
2. The producers know that the series should have ended 2 movies ago
3. It will in fact turn out not to be the final chapter, anyway
July 29, 2024 at 1:11 PM
If a movie sequel is subtitled ‘The Final Chapter’ there are 3 things of which you can be certain:
1. It will not be a good movie
2. The producers know that the series should have ended 2 movies ago
3. It will in fact turn out not to be the final chapter, anyway
1. It will not be a good movie
2. The producers know that the series should have ended 2 movies ago
3. It will in fact turn out not to be the final chapter, anyway
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my sense of humour suggests I'm 12, whilst my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
November 20, 2024 at 2:25 PM
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my sense of humour suggests I'm 12, whilst my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, studying myself to better come to terms with my imperfections. It’s not an easy thing to do though, and quite frankly I feel IKEA security could be a little more supportive.
December 14, 2023 at 12:33 PM
I often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, studying myself to better come to terms with my imperfections. It’s not an easy thing to do though, and quite frankly I feel IKEA security could be a little more supportive.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Chickens won't even cross the road anymore for fear of being detained.
April 14, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Chickens won't even cross the road anymore for fear of being detained.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I need a heating pad for my soul.
January 21, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I need a heating pad for my soul.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Somehow the more streaming services you've got the less there is to watch.
January 9, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Somehow the more streaming services you've got the less there is to watch.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Being an adult is just having a favorite spatula and being angry when it's dirty.
December 3, 2024 at 11:39 AM
Being an adult is just having a favorite spatula and being angry when it's dirty.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
My wife and I are at the age where we wake up, drink coffee and just continuously clear our throats for 45 mins.
November 22, 2024 at 11:20 AM
My wife and I are at the age where we wake up, drink coffee and just continuously clear our throats for 45 mins.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Co worker: I’m happy to announce that I’m pregnant
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
November 15, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Co worker: I’m happy to announce that I’m pregnant
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I’d wear matching Christmas pajamas with you
November 17, 2025 at 1:10 PM
I’d wear matching Christmas pajamas with you
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Breakfast in bed is considered romantic and sweet but me eating mashed potatoes in bed at 6pm is somehow concerning
November 18, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Breakfast in bed is considered romantic and sweet but me eating mashed potatoes in bed at 6pm is somehow concerning
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
I have no patience for people who take their time crossing a crosswalk but I’ll sit all day and wait for a family of ducks to cross the road
November 19, 2025 at 1:02 PM
I have no patience for people who take their time crossing a crosswalk but I’ll sit all day and wait for a family of ducks to cross the road
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
My alt account will be me trying to be sexy mixed in with pics of various casserole dishes.
November 21, 2025 at 12:33 PM
My alt account will be me trying to be sexy mixed in with pics of various casserole dishes.
Reposted by Lisa, Duchess of Netflix
Might sell Avon door to door as a side hustle
November 15, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Might sell Avon door to door as a side hustle