Reposted by mindflakes
Patenting a workout program called Cat Fitness, where I loan you my giant cat and you get muscles from picking him up a lot
July 11, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Patenting a workout program called Cat Fitness, where I loan you my giant cat and you get muscles from picking him up a lot
Reposted by mindflakes
I hope restaurant goers are finding everything to their liking this evening
November 15, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I hope restaurant goers are finding everything to their liking this evening
I recently became the proud owner of a 4-slice toaster and I expect you all to treat me as such
November 16, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I recently became the proud owner of a 4-slice toaster and I expect you all to treat me as such
Reposted by mindflakes
Attempting to make a contribution to the weekly staff meeting by scrambling wildly up the curtains like a cat.
November 14, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Attempting to make a contribution to the weekly staff meeting by scrambling wildly up the curtains like a cat.
Reposted by mindflakes
"ontology" is the study of placing one thing on top of, or onto, another thing
September 25, 2025 at 1:05 AM
"ontology" is the study of placing one thing on top of, or onto, another thing
Fun prank: Release 3 pigs numbered 1, 2 and 4 into a supermarket. Then when everyone's busy looking for pig 3, release pigs 5 to 807
November 15, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Fun prank: Release 3 pigs numbered 1, 2 and 4 into a supermarket. Then when everyone's busy looking for pig 3, release pigs 5 to 807
Reposted by mindflakes
I'm so hungry i could eat a delicious sandwich
November 14, 2025 at 5:41 PM
I'm so hungry i could eat a delicious sandwich
Reposted by mindflakes
if you see a very tall woman at the grocery store sweating and crying while trying to climb in with the frozen foods just leave her alone
November 14, 2025 at 4:34 PM
if you see a very tall woman at the grocery store sweating and crying while trying to climb in with the frozen foods just leave her alone
Reposted by mindflakes
I am physically unable to go through a yellow light without saying "ha ha haa" in a menacing voice
November 14, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I am physically unable to go through a yellow light without saying "ha ha haa" in a menacing voice
I try to spend as little time as possible trapped in haunted oil paintings. The food in there is terrible and the people are all from like 500 years ago so they haven't even seen any good movies
November 14, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I try to spend as little time as possible trapped in haunted oil paintings. The food in there is terrible and the people are all from like 500 years ago so they haven't even seen any good movies
Reposted by mindflakes
If you look up and find yourself under a banana tree that was not there before. There's like, at least a 40% chance, that banana tree is up to no good.
November 14, 2025 at 3:47 AM
If you look up and find yourself under a banana tree that was not there before. There's like, at least a 40% chance, that banana tree is up to no good.
Reposted by mindflakes
my cat is in my room. i cannot see her but i can feel her evil presence.
November 14, 2025 at 4:04 AM
my cat is in my room. i cannot see her but i can feel her evil presence.
I never really got into birdwatching, but I'm grateful to those who did. Who knows what birds might be getting up to if nobody was keeping an eye on them
November 14, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I never really got into birdwatching, but I'm grateful to those who did. Who knows what birds might be getting up to if nobody was keeping an eye on them
Reposted by mindflakes
If you're hungry they're hungry (the wolves)
November 13, 2025 at 2:10 PM
If you're hungry they're hungry (the wolves)
Reposted by mindflakes
Should I start to worry if the gooey substance leaking through my walls is whispering in Latin?
November 13, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Should I start to worry if the gooey substance leaking through my walls is whispering in Latin?
Big news: I just successfully took delivery of a package without talking too loud or saying "very thanks" or inexplicably trying to shake hands with the delivery guy
November 13, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Big news: I just successfully took delivery of a package without talking too loud or saying "very thanks" or inexplicably trying to shake hands with the delivery guy
Reposted by mindflakes
if you ever want to eat a meal of oats, it's hard to go wrong with "oat meal"
November 13, 2025 at 12:52 PM
if you ever want to eat a meal of oats, it's hard to go wrong with "oat meal"
Reposted by mindflakes
I want daylight saving time banned but I also want standard time banned. Just ban all time, I don't like it
November 12, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I want daylight saving time banned but I also want standard time banned. Just ban all time, I don't like it
Have you heard the latest music? It's very loud
November 13, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Have you heard the latest music? It's very loud
Reposted by mindflakes
Again, if you get a little sour cream or salad dressing on your phone, that’s good for it. That’s sustenance for the phone
November 13, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Again, if you get a little sour cream or salad dressing on your phone, that’s good for it. That’s sustenance for the phone
Reposted by mindflakes
"Bird seed" is actually somewhat of a misnomer, as anyone can eat the seed.
November 11, 2025 at 8:17 PM
"Bird seed" is actually somewhat of a misnomer, as anyone can eat the seed.
Everyone should own at least one "staying in" tiara and one "going out" tiara
November 13, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Everyone should own at least one "staying in" tiara and one "going out" tiara
Reposted by mindflakes
it is sad that people move on so fast from halloween, you could look out your window today and see someone being bitten by frankenstein or someone being flung to pieces by a strong muscle witch or some other beautiful halloween moment and no one would even care to listen to you about what you saw.
November 13, 2025 at 12:12 AM
it is sad that people move on so fast from halloween, you could look out your window today and see someone being bitten by frankenstein or someone being flung to pieces by a strong muscle witch or some other beautiful halloween moment and no one would even care to listen to you about what you saw.
Reposted by mindflakes
whatever happens at the back of the fridge, especially on the middle shelf, is frankly none of my business
November 12, 2025 at 1:24 PM
whatever happens at the back of the fridge, especially on the middle shelf, is frankly none of my business
Reposted by mindflakes
i hate the first few months after you get a new pit installed where you keep falling in it
November 12, 2025 at 7:02 AM
i hate the first few months after you get a new pit installed where you keep falling in it