Lettuce Jones
@lettucejones.bsky.social
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
FIRED? Who gives a fuck about “fired”?!? How about “send them to jail for life”? And I mean ALL of ‘em.
February 3, 2026 at 2:31 AM
FIRED? Who gives a fuck about “fired”?!? How about “send them to jail for life”? And I mean ALL of ‘em.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Every day Mamdani comes out and is like "hey guys, I turned off the orphan-crushing machine. Literally just had to flip a switch. Took less than 5 minutes."
After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc
After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc
February 3, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Every day Mamdani comes out and is like "hey guys, I turned off the orphan-crushing machine. Literally just had to flip a switch. Took less than 5 minutes."
After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc
After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Abolish ICE.
There’s no reforming it.
There’s no compromise.
There’s only one way to rein in ICE’s terror campaign. Abolish it.
There’s no reforming it.
There’s no compromise.
There’s only one way to rein in ICE’s terror campaign. Abolish it.
February 2, 2026 at 11:27 PM
Abolish ICE.
There’s no reforming it.
There’s no compromise.
There’s only one way to rein in ICE’s terror campaign. Abolish it.
There’s no reforming it.
There’s no compromise.
There’s only one way to rein in ICE’s terror campaign. Abolish it.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Troublemaker is my middle name.
February 1, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Troublemaker is my middle name.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
"what are we going to do with 20,000 ICE agents if we abolish ice" well to start with I think we should all literally spit on them in public for the rest of their lives
January 7, 2026 at 10:24 PM
"what are we going to do with 20,000 ICE agents if we abolish ice" well to start with I think we should all literally spit on them in public for the rest of their lives
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
losing my mind at the "she should have followed directions" people
really? really? you're cool with "if you don't follow directions, they get to kill you"? that seems like a good state of affairs to you? that seems like how law enforcement ought to work: instant obeisance or death?
really? really? you're cool with "if you don't follow directions, they get to kill you"? that seems like a good state of affairs to you? that seems like how law enforcement ought to work: instant obeisance or death?
January 7, 2026 at 6:25 PM
losing my mind at the "she should have followed directions" people
really? really? you're cool with "if you don't follow directions, they get to kill you"? that seems like a good state of affairs to you? that seems like how law enforcement ought to work: instant obeisance or death?
really? really? you're cool with "if you don't follow directions, they get to kill you"? that seems like a good state of affairs to you? that seems like how law enforcement ought to work: instant obeisance or death?
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
in the 80s, it was basically impossible to find Grinch porn. nowadays if you look up "green guy" on rule 34 he's basically the only result. its ridiculous.
December 22, 2025 at 8:35 PM
in the 80s, it was basically impossible to find Grinch porn. nowadays if you look up "green guy" on rule 34 he's basically the only result. its ridiculous.
Got blocked for being so god damn correct. Sidewalk bicycle and scooter users stay winning and not run over.
Have you ever actually used a bicycle or scooter to get somewhere?
November 6, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Got blocked for being so god damn correct. Sidewalk bicycle and scooter users stay winning and not run over.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Day 66 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
October 23, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Day 66 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
fifty years after the second nuremberg trials there are gonna be kids going into their grandfathers basement and finding these in carefully hidden display cases
September 27, 2025 at 11:20 PM
fifty years after the second nuremberg trials there are gonna be kids going into their grandfathers basement and finding these in carefully hidden display cases
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
So the president is a child rapist and the secretary of health and human services is a child killer?
September 9, 2025 at 4:19 AM
So the president is a child rapist and the secretary of health and human services is a child killer?
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.
August 7, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
From The Archives: Trump Teeters On White House Ledge Weighing Pros And Cons Of Killing Self Right Now To Distract From McCain’s Funeral
August 5, 2025 at 7:30 PM
From The Archives: Trump Teeters On White House Ledge Weighing Pros And Cons Of Killing Self Right Now To Distract From McCain’s Funeral
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
every dem should do this lol
Rep. Jimmy Gomez has replied to the White House’s AI image of him with a photo of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.
July 11, 2025 at 8:39 PM
every dem should do this lol
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Fuck ICE and anyone who supports them.
June 21, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Fuck ICE and anyone who supports them.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Here is the money quote by Elon Musk the conference call tonight*
*just kidding it’s from the call exactly six years ago today - 4/22/19
Enough said.
*just kidding it’s from the call exactly six years ago today - 4/22/19
Enough said.
April 22, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Here is the money quote by Elon Musk the conference call tonight*
*just kidding it’s from the call exactly six years ago today - 4/22/19
Enough said.
*just kidding it’s from the call exactly six years ago today - 4/22/19
Enough said.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
this is how the american economy is going to work for AT LEAST two entire years
a man in a white shirt is making a funny face with his mouth open and his arms outstretched .
Alt: guy jokingly pretending to kill himself
media.tenor.com
April 9, 2025 at 5:55 PM
this is how the american economy is going to work for AT LEAST two entire years
The whole signal chat thing is hilarious and all these idiots deserve to be ridiculed for their incompetence and hypocrisy.
But I can't stress enough how little of a fuck I give about "classified information" leaking. In fact I'd like to see it all leaked.
But I can't stress enough how little of a fuck I give about "classified information" leaking. In fact I'd like to see it all leaked.
March 25, 2025 at 2:04 PM
The whole signal chat thing is hilarious and all these idiots deserve to be ridiculed for their incompetence and hypocrisy.
But I can't stress enough how little of a fuck I give about "classified information" leaking. In fact I'd like to see it all leaked.
But I can't stress enough how little of a fuck I give about "classified information" leaking. In fact I'd like to see it all leaked.
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
i love when the vibe of the entire nation is “extreme fear”. that’s really good
March 19, 2025 at 12:40 AM
i love when the vibe of the entire nation is “extreme fear”. that’s really good
Reposted by Lettuce Jones
every single public facing person in this administration is just a different variation on baghdad bob
Kevin Hassett suggests Canadian authorities are covering up major fentanyl operations: "I can tell you that in the situation room I've seen photographs of fentanyl labs in Canada that the law enforcement folks were leaving alone. Canada's got a big drug problem."
March 9, 2025 at 3:25 PM
every single public facing person in this administration is just a different variation on baghdad bob