🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
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guardsmanjones.bsky.social
🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
@guardsmanjones.bsky.social
23. Line cook by day, degen shitposter by night. Aspiring Bushido Lib. Mostly politics but I sometimes be feelin' my freak.
Pinned
Up guardsing my Jones. And by 'guardsing', well, lets justr say. jonesing my peanits.
I KNOW WHERE THIS SIGN IS SCALZI, YOU SONUVABITCH.

Still an accurate sign for the surrounds, though.
You know, I'm not sure I ever really read the Pond Rules at our local nature preserve all that closely before
November 25, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
From hells heart I stab at thee, Charlie Brown
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain, Charlie Brown.
You're too short for that gesture, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
November 24, 2025 at 12:43 AM
The great thing about ICBM escalation is that the AI heavily overvalues technology during negotiations, so you can do some pretty crazy shit like having them give you 3 carriers and 4 destroyers in exchange for...helicopters.
November 24, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
There is a post circulating on Bluesky encouraging the moving of a frozen turkey straight into a pot of hot oil. We are combating this misinformation the best way we know how - through the power of dance music.
November 23, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
Lace Platinum-class, the workhorse destroyer of the Pacific Armada (1/n)
February 3, 2025 at 9:15 PM
As a sacrifice for getting Half Life 3 we also have to get another 3: 2003 2
November 23, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
I have a brilliant idea on how to counter Russia and China. We could focus on building up our partners in Asia and the ongoing conventional fucking war in Europe instead of a pointless war in South America.

Someone make me a senior fellow. This shit's easy as hell.
Cracks me up how you could just replace Venezuela and Venezuelans with Iraq and Iraqis and it’d be indistinguishable from something written in 2002
November 23, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
November 23, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
If I’m understanding this correctly, X is owned by a white nationalist who pays poor people of color in developing countries to pretend to be working class white Americans to scare other white Americans into being afraid poor people of color from developing countries are going to ruin America?
November 23, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
Ÿ̴̻̣̫̭̦̻̣͙̂̽̎͘r̴͍̭̒̆͆̈́̓ ̷̫͙̞͈̋̇̀͋͂ͅȏ̴̧̳̪̯͈̜͉̠̔̈̓̅̀͘͠p̸͔̜͇̬̹͔̮̝̬̔͊̏͐̋͐̏̓e̷̡̳͈̦̤̣̦̍́̒̏̂̂͘n̵̫̖͖̭̥͋̏̄̋͜͜͝ ̵̯̥̤̋̓̑m̶̻̽̓̀̌̔͗͊̍͑̏o̷̡̳͓͉̼̳̘̍͛̿̃͌͝u̵̗̭̱͓̳͐͐̆t̶̝̔̅̔̔̚͠h̶̡̛̃ ̴̖͎̣̱͓̖͎̄͝a̷̹̼̺̖͂͗̚ͅw̶͈̞̹̬͗ȁ̷̳͇̞̱̪̙̬̬į̶̧̛͕̬̄͊̌̔̀͊̇̆̚͜ţ̸͕̗̅̀̿͐̑̒̐̓i̴̜̪̘̠̣̥̊̈̌͌̏͒̏̀͊̋ͅn̶̼̖̙̖͂̇͒́́́̕͝ǵ̵̳͖̫̯̠̯̺͇̽̊̎͂͝ ̶͎̝̮̘̄m̸̳͍͈̥̝͖̊͐̓̒̇͋̾̋͜ẏ̵̦̬̼͕̱͙̒͘ͅ ̸̛͙̜̫̬̻͈̦͇͛̑̃̓̒͊͝h̵͔͓̏̈́͋͆̅̽̏̇͝ä̷̧̧̱̠̪͉͍̜́̇͊ͅr̴̨̛͇͕̪̈́̎̿̈͑̔̚͝v̶̧͍̖͇̫̠͕͙̙͚̑e̸͕͎̽̑̄͛̉̃̈s̸̤͛̀ţ̵̦̱͒̃͗
̵̡̙͕̝̐̂̀̎͐̏̇ͅD̴̛̞̥̘̼̣͈̮̟̃̾͂ͅr̴̝̪̹̫͔̱̗̬̥͓̊ì̸̡̡͚̭͎̽̈́͑͆̈́̆ͅṅ̶̛̻̟̝̥͊̏̈́̀̈́̎̚k̵̰͕̼̈́́͜ ̶̨̪͕̦̦͇͈̰̞̈́̒̈͒͐̉̏͜f̶̧̞̒̽̋͑̽r̴̨͓̥̠̫̠͙̩̣͐̀̒͋͛̓̓̕͝o̶̲̒̌̽͒m̷̨̰̙̳͓͖̬͉̽͆̎̽͋ͅͅ ̸̮̭̄̂͆̉̋̋̔̊̇m̴͉͛̉́è̴͕̖̥̰̺͚͓̗ ̶̢̫͑͑͒̔L̸̡͂̈́ő̷̝̜͂͆̈́̌̕v̸͍͓͍͖̙̺̝̈̆ë̵̜̠́͋̑͂̈́̐̂̂̐
November 22, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
The US government has done a great many things, many of them in the decade or two after JFK, that rightly caused a sharp decline in public trust. But they didn't kill JFK and they didn't do anything to cover up or obfuscate who had killed JFK.
November 22, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
Meta was aware that millions of adult strangers were contacting minors on its sites; that its products exacerbated mental health issues in teens; and that content related to eating disorders, suicide, and child sexual abuse was frequently detected, yet rarely removed.

time.com/7336204/meta...
7 Allegations Against Meta in Newly Unsealed Filings
Court filings allege Meta tolerated sex trafficking, hid harms to teens, and prioritized growth over user safety for years.
time.com
November 22, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I have many thoughts about this article that can't be put into a mere 300 characters, but I think a core problem is that, given how small Orthodox churches tend to be, they make for ripe "colonization" targets by far-right radicals.
As an Orthodox Christian, I should have found this article encouraging. But it makes me more...concerned. Faith is not therapy for masculine insecurities.

(If your comment is to trash religion, I'll just block you.)

cc @shoutingboy.bsky.social

www.nytimes.com/2025/11/19/u...
Orthodox Church Pews Are Overflowing With Converts
www.nytimes.com
November 22, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Narrators voice: They were, in fact, mass rapists.
Someday you, too, could have the moral fortitude to look upon a years-long rape circus organized by the nation's most powerful elites and declare, "The people upset about this are speaking about it the wrong way."
November 22, 2025 at 8:24 AM
In retrospect, given RFKs beliefs about disease, him eating his own semen that got regurgitated out of someone's ass makes a lot of sense
November 22, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
YOU WANT TO BE ONLINE? ENDURE.
November 22, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
you'd think the forced displacement of 10 million people from one of the oldest centres of civilisation in human history would get a little more news attention than beltway journalists writing essays on how Olivia Nuzzi is a genius because they want to bone her and you'd be wrong
'Iran’s capital must be moved because the country “no longer has a choice,” President Masoud Pezeshkian said on Thursday in remarks carried by state media, warning that severe ecological strain has made Tehran impossible to sustain'

#Iran 🇮🇷
Iran president says capital move now a necessity as water crisis deepens
Iran’s capital must be moved because the country “no longer has a choice,” President Masoud Pezeshkian said on Thursday in remarks carried by state media, warning that severe ecological strain has mad...
www.iranintl.com
November 21, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
i love how bsky posters are so eager to appear worldly and wise that they'll jump to say "AND YOU'RE SURPRISED????" to the craziest shit that's ever happened. if bluesky existed on 9/11/01 you fucking bet these people would out here with "obviously, everyone with a brain cell could see this coming"
does mamdani smell really good in person or something. like he seems very charming yes but what the fuck lol
November 22, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
Mockler: But you saw Donald Trump essentially undermining the Maga media ecosystem in real time. For the past few months, they've called Mamdani a jihadist communist, a threat to America who is incompatible with the governing style of America.

Lyman: He is

Mockler: Trump doesn’t think that
November 22, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
I AM GOING TO HANG DEMOCRATIC SENATORS FOR TREASON THIS IS SEDITION

A random thirty-something socialist from New York City with an aloof art school wife:
November 22, 2025 at 1:05 AM
WOKE RAVE POPE
He said "Amen" straight into the drop

Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
November 22, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
X has changed their policy and now you can see where the accounts are based.

Here’s an “influencer from Texas”
November 21, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Reposted by 🦃 GuardsmanJones ♨️
Five hours apart
November 21, 2025 at 11:13 PM