Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
I don’t have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
Pinned
Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
· Nov 12
Instructor: "Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to learn how to dance?"
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Reposted by Drew
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
November 12, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
She told me to mind my manners, but my manners had no mind.
November 12, 2025 at 9:44 PM
She told me to mind my manners, but my manners had no mind.
Reposted by Drew
your skeets look like they were written by ChatPTSD
November 12, 2025 at 8:28 PM
your skeets look like they were written by ChatPTSD
Reposted by Drew
Still seizing a day from 1998.
November 12, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Still seizing a day from 1998.
Reposted by Drew
I bet a factory reset would fix me
November 12, 2025 at 9:14 PM
I bet a factory reset would fix me
Reposted by Drew
Instead of building a ship in a bottle I took a bottle on a ship. Now there’s a man overboard and I’ve been banned from Carnival Cruises for life.
November 12, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Instead of building a ship in a bottle I took a bottle on a ship. Now there’s a man overboard and I’ve been banned from Carnival Cruises for life.
Reposted by Drew
If you run past your neighbors scratching your crotch and screaming they tend to not ask questions.
November 12, 2025 at 1:15 PM
If you run past your neighbors scratching your crotch and screaming they tend to not ask questions.
Reposted by Drew
started at rock bottom and now i’m here*
*rock bottom’s basement
*rock bottom’s basement
November 12, 2025 at 3:09 PM
started at rock bottom and now i’m here*
*rock bottom’s basement
*rock bottom’s basement
Reposted by Drew
My mom doesnt understand bluesky but shes glad im making friends
November 12, 2025 at 2:16 PM
My mom doesnt understand bluesky but shes glad im making friends
Reposted by Drew
How did the Wicked Witch of the West take a bath? 🤔 ----
Things that keep me awake at night.
Things that keep me awake at night.
November 12, 2025 at 3:11 PM
How did the Wicked Witch of the West take a bath? 🤔 ----
Things that keep me awake at night.
Things that keep me awake at night.
Reposted by Drew
Clicking mindlessly from tab to tab counts as work
November 12, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Clicking mindlessly from tab to tab counts as work
I could’ve sworn Aurora Borealis was the name of another one of these cookie cutter pop stars.
November 12, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I could’ve sworn Aurora Borealis was the name of another one of these cookie cutter pop stars.
All those ABC Afterschool Specials didn’t prepare me for any of this shit.
November 11, 2025 at 3:29 PM
All those ABC Afterschool Specials didn’t prepare me for any of this shit.
Reposted by Drew
What’s it called when you’re a people pleaser, but you also hate people? I’m that.
October 30, 2025 at 6:35 PM
What’s it called when you’re a people pleaser, but you also hate people? I’m that.
What we really need is a government shut up.
November 10, 2025 at 7:56 PM
What we really need is a government shut up.
Doomscrolling since 2005.
November 9, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Doomscrolling since 2005.
I've eaten my weight in fun-sized Snickers.
November 1, 2025 at 1:57 AM
I've eaten my weight in fun-sized Snickers.
Unpopular opinion and I’ll preface this by saying I normally love Tom Hanks, but I can’t stand the David S. Pumpkins sketches.
October 31, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Unpopular opinion and I’ll preface this by saying I normally love Tom Hanks, but I can’t stand the David S. Pumpkins sketches.
What’s it called when you’re a people pleaser, but you also hate people? I’m that.
October 30, 2025 at 6:35 PM
What’s it called when you’re a people pleaser, but you also hate people? I’m that.
Can’t wait for pieces of the east wing to be available in the White House gift shop.
October 25, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Can’t wait for pieces of the east wing to be available in the White House gift shop.
Crazy to think how season 1 of Stranger Things came out in 1983.
October 21, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Crazy to think how season 1 of Stranger Things came out in 1983.
Spent the weekend in Savannah, and now I can’t stop saying y’all, y’all.
October 20, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Spent the weekend in Savannah, and now I can’t stop saying y’all, y’all.
What are we doing here?
October 5, 2025 at 3:03 AM
What are we doing here?
Reposted by Drew
Called in “deciphering Taylor Swift lyrics” this morning.
October 3, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Called in “deciphering Taylor Swift lyrics” this morning.
Reposted by Drew
may your humor be as dark as the skeletons in your closet
October 3, 2025 at 9:55 AM
may your humor be as dark as the skeletons in your closet