Charles Haden Sewage
@chrisminton.bsky.social
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't. Kentucky. #THFC #Birdgang #BBN
Pinned
Gonna get a big red bumper sticker that says “All I Know About Tariffs, I Learned By Fucking Around & Finding Out”
Grynnyn Barrett had a prior commitment
Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, Gabby Barrett, Brock Kridlett, Grantley Bryson, Bryce Gabbert, Barrett Kidleigh, Gilbert Rocklett, Brian Kidd, Bryan Grantlett,
Turning Point USA has announced the performers for their alternative Super Bowl halftime show:
Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett
Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett
February 2, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Grynnyn Barrett had a prior commitment
Cranjis McBasketball ass lineup
Turning Point USA has announced the performers for their alternative Super Bowl halftime show:
Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett
Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett
February 2, 2026 at 7:03 PM
Cranjis McBasketball ass lineup
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
If you answer “No” you get an invitation to Mar-a-Lago
January 30, 2026 at 7:32 PM
If you answer “No” you get an invitation to Mar-a-Lago
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
I have sciatica, so I have to periodically stand up to stretch my muscles. It's not always an expression of my personal beliefs.
January 28, 2026 at 5:50 AM
I have sciatica, so I have to periodically stand up to stretch my muscles. It's not always an expression of my personal beliefs.
This adminstration doesn't give a shit about lost lives or American values. Compounding the problem is the fact that it's hard to enact change because Congress has too many GOP sycophants and gutless Democrats.
Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey: "How many more residents, how many more Americans, need to die or get badly hurt for this operation to end? How many more lives need to be lost before this administration realizes that a political and partisan narrative is not as important as American values."
January 24, 2026 at 6:07 PM
This adminstration doesn't give a shit about lost lives or American values. Compounding the problem is the fact that it's hard to enact change because Congress has too many GOP sycophants and gutless Democrats.
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
“Everyone should be allowed to carry a gun for their safety but the government can murder you in the street if you have a gun” is an incredible endpoint for the conservative moment
January 24, 2026 at 5:48 PM
“Everyone should be allowed to carry a gun for their safety but the government can murder you in the street if you have a gun” is an incredible endpoint for the conservative moment
Improve a movie title by adding “With Big Naturals”
Pecker With Big Naturals
Pecker With Big Naturals
Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals"
January 22, 2026 at 3:08 AM
Improve a movie title by adding “With Big Naturals”
Pecker With Big Naturals
Pecker With Big Naturals
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
The absolute accuracy of this.
January 18, 2026 at 10:23 PM
The absolute accuracy of this.
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
When my wife asks why I just took $60 out of the ATM:
January 13, 2026 at 12:37 AM
When my wife asks why I just took $60 out of the ATM:
The Cumberland, not far from my backyard
My favorite Twitter prompt was "RT this with your home river," so reskeet this with your home river.
Mine is the Patuxent.
Mine is the Patuxent.
January 12, 2026 at 9:35 PM
The Cumberland, not far from my backyard
Slightly diminish a band.
Neutral Milk Motel
Neutral Milk Motel
Slightly diminish a band.
Cherry Poppin' Single Fathers
Cherry Poppin' Single Fathers
Slightly diminish a band.
Linkin Playground
Linkin Playground
January 11, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Slightly diminish a band.
Neutral Milk Motel
Neutral Milk Motel
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
Pope Leo XIV was born in 1955 in Chicago, which means there's a very good chance he's done the Super Bowl Shuffle.
May 8, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Pope Leo XIV was born in 1955 in Chicago, which means there's a very good chance he's done the Super Bowl Shuffle.
Jason Wasbell
Slightly diminish a band:
Eight Point Five Inch Nails
Eight Point Five Inch Nails
Slightly diminish a band:
9,998 Maniacs.
9,998 Maniacs.
January 10, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Jason Wasbell
This being Kentucky, the Ferrari is currently on blocks in the yard
January 8, 2026 at 4:05 AM
This being Kentucky, the Ferrari is currently on blocks in the yard
Officials should only get one minute to review instant replay, and in real time speed. If that doesn't show enough to overturn it, the play stands as called
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Officials should only get one minute to review instant replay, and in real time speed. If that doesn't show enough to overturn it, the play stands as called
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
Remember, every day is filled with the promise and possibility that it will be his last day on Earth.
January 5, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Remember, every day is filled with the promise and possibility that it will be his last day on Earth.
Well, the good news is the Arizona Cardinals’ 2025 season has reached its merciful end
January 5, 2026 at 12:28 AM
Well, the good news is the Arizona Cardinals’ 2025 season has reached its merciful end
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
one problem with learning is it will make you so angry at how stupid everything is
January 3, 2026 at 4:24 PM
one problem with learning is it will make you so angry at how stupid everything is
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
In hindsight it was a bad idea to put a child molester with dementia in charge of everything. That’s our bad. That one’s on us
January 3, 2026 at 2:50 PM
In hindsight it was a bad idea to put a child molester with dementia in charge of everything. That’s our bad. That one’s on us
* Draw water up from the well on wash day
* Properly line an outhouse with old newspaper pages
* Saddle up the family's finest horse to go into town for provisions
* Decipher numeric codes on a pager
* Properly line an outhouse with old newspaper pages
* Saddle up the family's finest horse to go into town for provisions
* Decipher numeric codes on a pager
It's 2026.
Things many American school kids probably don't know how to do:
* Dial a rotary telephone
* Tell time from an analog clock
* Read or write cursive
* Decipher Roman numerals
* Navigate with a paper map or use a compass
* Balance a checkbook
(Please add more below)
Things many American school kids probably don't know how to do:
* Dial a rotary telephone
* Tell time from an analog clock
* Read or write cursive
* Decipher Roman numerals
* Navigate with a paper map or use a compass
* Balance a checkbook
(Please add more below)
January 2, 2026 at 6:33 PM
* Draw water up from the well on wash day
* Properly line an outhouse with old newspaper pages
* Saddle up the family's finest horse to go into town for provisions
* Decipher numeric codes on a pager
* Properly line an outhouse with old newspaper pages
* Saddle up the family's finest horse to go into town for provisions
* Decipher numeric codes on a pager
/Warren Zevon voice
Poor poor pitiful me
Poor poor pitiful me
January 2, 2026 at 12:35 PM
/Warren Zevon voice
Poor poor pitiful me
Poor poor pitiful me
I still can’t believe Stranger Things ended with Vecna going with the party to watch Death Wish 4
January 2, 2026 at 3:07 AM
I still can’t believe Stranger Things ended with Vecna going with the party to watch Death Wish 4
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
Remember kids, in the year of our Lord 2026, if you see someone stealing food, NO YOU FUCKING DIDN’T
So someone was unsuccessful in trying to steal $300 worth of food from a business owned by the Sobey family (net worth $5.5 billion), and the cops thought it warranted a news release
January 2, 2026 at 12:49 AM
Remember kids, in the year of our Lord 2026, if you see someone stealing food, NO YOU FUCKING DIDN’T
Reposted by Charles Haden Sewage
The Somali daycare thing is huge for Republicans because it combines their only remaining principles, racism and being asked to leave somewhere
December 31, 2025 at 8:35 PM
The Somali daycare thing is huge for Republicans because it combines their only remaining principles, racism and being asked to leave somewhere
Someone get Dave McKenna on this
I've been thinking about this sign for 6 months. a phrase I'll treasure forever. a metaphor with boundless potential
December 26, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Someone get Dave McKenna on this