Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
@cheaplaughter.bsky.social
She/her. “Who will bring redemption? The jesters.”
Pinned
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
This is why following sports is helpful! This phrasing = she's about to be relieved of her duties on a Friday morning and assistant coach Kyle Neptune will be the interim coach for Sunday's game vs. the Pelicans.
January 26, 2026 at 9:04 PM
This is why following sports is helpful! This phrasing = she's about to be relieved of her duties on a Friday morning and assistant coach Kyle Neptune will be the interim coach for Sunday's game vs. the Pelicans.
Every person who talks to me about “paid protesters” fails to answer my follow up question, WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP
January 26, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Every person who talks to me about “paid protesters” fails to answer my follow up question, WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
During the Soviet era, at times of govt instability, the state broadcaster would typically preempt scheduled broadcasts by airing performances of Swan Lake
And, tonight, the network's flagship news program -- 60 Minutes -- ran a clip show of old celeb interviews to "celebrate the movies" rather than put together an episode focused on what's going on in Minnesota.
The person who publishes the Free Press — where the words “Minneapolis” and “Minnesota” never appear tonight — also runs CBS News.
January 26, 2026 at 2:59 AM
During the Soviet era, at times of govt instability, the state broadcaster would typically preempt scheduled broadcasts by airing performances of Swan Lake
(The following post is for Dune-heads and I do not apologize for it)
Babysitting someone trying a THC soda for the first time and I feel like Lady Jessica giving Paul the Waters of Life
Babysitting someone trying a THC soda for the first time and I feel like Lady Jessica giving Paul the Waters of Life
January 25, 2026 at 9:34 PM
(The following post is for Dune-heads and I do not apologize for it)
Babysitting someone trying a THC soda for the first time and I feel like Lady Jessica giving Paul the Waters of Life
Babysitting someone trying a THC soda for the first time and I feel like Lady Jessica giving Paul the Waters of Life
The only Joel Berry we recognize in this house is 2017 Final Four Most Outstanding Player Joel Berry II 😌
January 25, 2026 at 9:22 PM
The only Joel Berry we recognize in this house is 2017 Final Four Most Outstanding Player Joel Berry II 😌
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
the mood is not subtle
January 24, 2026 at 11:26 PM
the mood is not subtle
I used to think public executions were gross and inhumane but if they ever get around to properly Nuremburg-ing the people responsible for ICE crimes, I’m going to be there with popcorn and I’m going to bring my kids, too
January 25, 2026 at 12:08 AM
I used to think public executions were gross and inhumane but if they ever get around to properly Nuremburg-ing the people responsible for ICE crimes, I’m going to be there with popcorn and I’m going to bring my kids, too
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
Pretti clearly did not brandish his gun. Which means the government is saying he was killed for legally exercising his right to carry.
It’s as clear-cut a violation of the Second Amendment as I can possibly imagine. And we’re about to see the bulk of the gun rights crowd defend his murder.
It’s as clear-cut a violation of the Second Amendment as I can possibly imagine. And we’re about to see the bulk of the gun rights crowd defend his murder.
January 24, 2026 at 8:55 PM
Pretti clearly did not brandish his gun. Which means the government is saying he was killed for legally exercising his right to carry.
It’s as clear-cut a violation of the Second Amendment as I can possibly imagine. And we’re about to see the bulk of the gun rights crowd defend his murder.
It’s as clear-cut a violation of the Second Amendment as I can possibly imagine. And we’re about to see the bulk of the gun rights crowd defend his murder.
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
outta my way lady i gotta write Jurassic Park
January 24, 2026 at 3:52 PM
outta my way lady i gotta write Jurassic Park
I’m so goddamn tired of learning this news on social media. I pulled up the CNN app and there’s nothing. This should be at the fucking top.
There’s video floating around. You don’t want to watch it.
News feed will be updated continuously. No paywall.
www.startribune.com/ice-raids-mi...
News feed will be updated continuously. No paywall.
www.startribune.com/ice-raids-mi...
Live: Man shot by federal agent in south Minneapolis this morning, witnesses say
More than a hundred protesters and observers have gathered near E. 26th Street and Nicollet Avenue.
www.startribune.com
January 24, 2026 at 4:33 PM
I’m so goddamn tired of learning this news on social media. I pulled up the CNN app and there’s nothing. This should be at the fucking top.
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
*King Missile voice*
Bisexual Forecast
Bisexual Forecast
January 24, 2026 at 1:54 PM
*King Missile voice*
Bisexual Forecast
Bisexual Forecast
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
How To Spot An ICE Agent At A Gun Range
January 24, 2026 at 1:04 AM
How To Spot An ICE Agent At A Gun Range
I feel like the rest of the world isn’t going to understand how most Americans really feel until It Happens and suddenly every town is celebrating like they’re Philly after the Eagles win a Super Bowl
January 22, 2026 at 3:10 AM
I feel like the rest of the world isn’t going to understand how most Americans really feel until It Happens and suddenly every town is celebrating like they’re Philly after the Eagles win a Super Bowl
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
January 20, 2026 at 12:30 AM
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
This is a more accurate metric of impending bad weather than the Waffle House Index
Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) was spotted earlier today, January 20, 2026, on a plane heading to Laguna Beach as the state of Texas braces for a rare ice threat and arctic cold front.
January 21, 2026 at 11:13 AM
This is a more accurate metric of impending bad weather than the Waffle House Index
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
I have been laughing at this for like a day and a half
January 17, 2026 at 1:30 PM
I have been laughing at this for like a day and a half
Someone got this postcard in the mail and I’m so fucking jealous it wasn’t me because it is ART
January 17, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Someone got this postcard in the mail and I’m so fucking jealous it wasn’t me because it is ART
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
Non-zero chance this presidency ends with a coup; fun times in the ol’ USofA
Trump to Reuters about the midterm elections: "When you think of it, we shouldn't even have an election." www.reuters.com/world/us/fiv...
January 16, 2026 at 1:38 AM
Non-zero chance this presidency ends with a coup; fun times in the ol’ USofA
Reposted by Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty
I had to look up Lizardman's Constant: the 4% of people who will tell a pollster lizard people are taking over the world, ie the minimum answer you will get for even the most absurd question.
"Do you think it would be a good idea or a bad idea for the U.S. to use military force to take possession of Greenland from Denmark?"
Good idea: 4%
Bad idea: 71%
(Ipsos)
4%. He did it. He finally hit Lizardman's Constant.
Good idea: 4%
Bad idea: 71%
(Ipsos)
4%. He did it. He finally hit Lizardman's Constant.
January 14, 2026 at 7:19 PM
I had to look up Lizardman's Constant: the 4% of people who will tell a pollster lizard people are taking over the world, ie the minimum answer you will get for even the most absurd question.