Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
September 18, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
David Attenborough: brief as its life may be, in order to protect its fragile exoskeleton the Spirit Halloween must seek a vacant commercial shell
August 30, 2025 at 2:22 AM
David Attenborough: brief as its life may be, in order to protect its fragile exoskeleton the Spirit Halloween must seek a vacant commercial shell
just clicked the Popular With Friends tab and it brought me to a page that simply said "no you aren't"
August 29, 2025 at 12:14 AM
just clicked the Popular With Friends tab and it brought me to a page that simply said "no you aren't"
As a Canadian indy yarn dyer, my business is cooked when this happens
US CBP: DE MINIMIS DUTY-FREE TREATMENT SUSPENDED ON AUGUST 29
August 28, 2025 at 7:06 PM
As a Canadian indy yarn dyer, my business is cooked when this happens
Reposted by Ceej
Old man, look at my life
I’m a fuckin baller
I’m a fuckin baller
May 24, 2024 at 10:47 PM
Old man, look at my life
I’m a fuckin baller
I’m a fuckin baller
stop asking if I named my sons after the drug. Fent is short for Fenton, and Trent is named after my father, Trentanyl
August 22, 2025 at 11:44 PM
stop asking if I named my sons after the drug. Fent is short for Fenton, and Trent is named after my father, Trentanyl
I'm actually good in most hoods. I'm valid
judge: the court would like to stress that you are still under oath
me: uuh. I can't go anywhere they all hate my ass
judge: the court would like to stress that you are still under oath
me: uuh. I can't go anywhere they all hate my ass
August 22, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I'm actually good in most hoods. I'm valid
judge: the court would like to stress that you are still under oath
me: uuh. I can't go anywhere they all hate my ass
judge: the court would like to stress that you are still under oath
me: uuh. I can't go anywhere they all hate my ass
Reposted by Ceej
NFTs were a bubble, AI is a bubble, but small carvings of large hipped women have remained popular with unsettling lighthouse keepers for 200 years, invest with confidence
August 21, 2025 at 1:07 PM
NFTs were a bubble, AI is a bubble, but small carvings of large hipped women have remained popular with unsettling lighthouse keepers for 200 years, invest with confidence
Reposted by Ceej
DOCTOR: your grandma has suffered a hip dislocation
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
August 20, 2025 at 11:33 PM
DOCTOR: your grandma has suffered a hip dislocation
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
Reposted by Ceej
There's a cool special feature on the Nosferatu blu-ray where they detail Robert Eggers' famously meticulous research methods and there's even a thing where you can explore his actual Google search history
July 1, 2025 at 5:18 AM
There's a cool special feature on the Nosferatu blu-ray where they detail Robert Eggers' famously meticulous research methods and there's even a thing where you can explore his actual Google search history
my wife: have you written to your dad since your uncle passed?
me: I'm typing it out now
what I'm typing: gimme da beans boys/fill my bowl/ top it all off with some guacamole (said like whack a mole)
me: I'm typing it out now
what I'm typing: gimme da beans boys/fill my bowl/ top it all off with some guacamole (said like whack a mole)
August 20, 2025 at 2:26 PM
my wife: have you written to your dad since your uncle passed?
me: I'm typing it out now
what I'm typing: gimme da beans boys/fill my bowl/ top it all off with some guacamole (said like whack a mole)
me: I'm typing it out now
what I'm typing: gimme da beans boys/fill my bowl/ top it all off with some guacamole (said like whack a mole)
why do I work out in jeans? easy. I like to swim in the pond before the gym, so I already have them on,
August 20, 2025 at 3:39 AM
why do I work out in jeans? easy. I like to swim in the pond before the gym, so I already have them on,
posing like I caught the arrow mid flight between my palms but my enemy can clearly see it's lodged in my forehead
August 19, 2025 at 4:29 AM
posing like I caught the arrow mid flight between my palms but my enemy can clearly see it's lodged in my forehead
(bragging coyly because I know damn well it's my turn) oh my gosh guys, do you hear the bell I wonder for whom it tolls
August 19, 2025 at 3:55 AM
(bragging coyly because I know damn well it's my turn) oh my gosh guys, do you hear the bell I wonder for whom it tolls
Reposted by Ceej
I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.
August 19, 2025 at 3:16 AM
I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.
when I say "that's water under the bridge" understand that the body of water is a stagnant pond of grudge slime, and I live under the bridge
August 18, 2025 at 5:35 PM
when I say "that's water under the bridge" understand that the body of water is a stagnant pond of grudge slime, and I live under the bridge
reporting on the spectacular demise of an enemy while visibly in the throes of ecstasy: it brings me no joy to say this,
June 21, 2025 at 8:50 PM
reporting on the spectacular demise of an enemy while visibly in the throes of ecstasy: it brings me no joy to say this,
Reposted by Ceej
making fun of a samurai I thought I beat in a sword fight 2 days ago when my torso starts sliding cleanly away from my legs
May 24, 2025 at 7:02 PM
making fun of a samurai I thought I beat in a sword fight 2 days ago when my torso starts sliding cleanly away from my legs
Reposted by Ceej
HAN SOLO: great band
BARTENDER: that's jizz music. my cousin is the saxoboner player. he can really blow that thing
HAN: excuse me?
BARTENDER: oh, our lingo is a little different around here
HAN: can I get a drink
BARTENDER: one tall glass of cum, coming up
BARTENDER: that's jizz music. my cousin is the saxoboner player. he can really blow that thing
HAN: excuse me?
BARTENDER: oh, our lingo is a little different around here
HAN: can I get a drink
BARTENDER: one tall glass of cum, coming up
May 28, 2025 at 2:16 AM
HAN SOLO: great band
BARTENDER: that's jizz music. my cousin is the saxoboner player. he can really blow that thing
HAN: excuse me?
BARTENDER: oh, our lingo is a little different around here
HAN: can I get a drink
BARTENDER: one tall glass of cum, coming up
BARTENDER: that's jizz music. my cousin is the saxoboner player. he can really blow that thing
HAN: excuse me?
BARTENDER: oh, our lingo is a little different around here
HAN: can I get a drink
BARTENDER: one tall glass of cum, coming up
Reposted by Ceej
As a webcomic artist, my job is to provoke thought and inspire conversation. But the vitriol I received this week was beyond the pale. Black Nermal was meant as a celebra
June 19, 2025 at 1:12 AM
As a webcomic artist, my job is to provoke thought and inspire conversation. But the vitriol I received this week was beyond the pale. Black Nermal was meant as a celebra
Reposted by Ceej
ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.
June 13, 2025 at 3:17 PM
ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.
Reposted by Ceej
Bluesky is dy-[💙🇮🇱🇺🇸 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶-𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗔 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗱 🚫👎🌮 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-ing. The only people here are ang-[☠️🚗 𝗘𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗮’𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘁 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 🇺🇸🦋 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-ry leftists. All thought outside of tankie logic is b-[🦋𝗟𝗜𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗧𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥 🇺🇸 𝗚𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥 ⛔️🦧🔫 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-anned.
June 12, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Bluesky is dy-[💙🇮🇱🇺🇸 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶-𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗔 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗱 🚫👎🌮 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-ing. The only people here are ang-[☠️🚗 𝗘𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗮’𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘁 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 🇺🇸🦋 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-ry leftists. All thought outside of tankie logic is b-[🦋𝗟𝗜𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗧𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥 🇺🇸 𝗚𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥 ⛔️🦧🔫 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-anned.
Reposted by Ceej
I joined Bluesky exactly two years ago and I wrote a piece about my thoughts on the platform - how it's been coming along so far and where it seems fated to go. Thanks for reading.
June 12, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I joined Bluesky exactly two years ago and I wrote a piece about my thoughts on the platform - how it's been coming along so far and where it seems fated to go. Thanks for reading.
Reposted by Ceej
“Be mindful of optics” - Daniel Murderwife
June 9, 2025 at 5:39 PM
“Be mindful of optics” - Daniel Murderwife
boss after hearing my presentation: was any of that fact-based?
Me: all those facts were extremely based. Several of them are goated
Me: all those facts were extremely based. Several of them are goated
June 6, 2025 at 6:11 PM
boss after hearing my presentation: was any of that fact-based?
Me: all those facts were extremely based. Several of them are goated
Me: all those facts were extremely based. Several of them are goated