Bryan Eagle
@bryaneagleshow.bsky.social
Amateur cat therapist, professional film school graduate, unprofessional film watcher. Maintaining my amateur critic position to make sure I can compete in the 2027 Olympics
Pinned
In hindsight, I see why my wife, Caroline, was not happy with my singing along to OutKast’s “Roses” while making dinner last night
BREAKING NEWS: after outcry over Imperial Stormtroopers raiding homes & murdering people, Senator Chuck Schumer plans to address this by asking Palpatine for better training for the Stormtroopers, and that they only wear helmets if they feel they need to
February 5, 2026 at 5:19 PM
BREAKING NEWS: after outcry over Imperial Stormtroopers raiding homes & murdering people, Senator Chuck Schumer plans to address this by asking Palpatine for better training for the Stormtroopers, and that they only wear helmets if they feel they need to
My wife hates the sound of joint cracks and farts, so of course I sent her the compilation video of people involuntarily farting after the chiropractor cracks their back #marriage
February 5, 2026 at 4:13 PM
My wife hates the sound of joint cracks and farts, so of course I sent her the compilation video of people involuntarily farting after the chiropractor cracks their back #marriage
Reading comics from the 70s/80s as an adult is weird, because now I can see where the creatives are DEFINITELY using superhero situations to explore their sexual fantasies & kinks
February 4, 2026 at 10:03 PM
Reading comics from the 70s/80s as an adult is weird, because now I can see where the creatives are DEFINITELY using superhero situations to explore their sexual fantasies & kinks
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead
February 4, 2026 at 4:44 PM
worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
I've never been a conspiracy theory guy, but you're never gonna convince me that there hasn't been a specific cabal of ultra-rich dullards trying to buy, strangle, and bring to heel all of the most important reality-shaping machines since the uptick in power labor had during COVID
WASHINGTON (AP) — Washington Post says one-third of its staff across all departments, not just the newsroom, is being laid off.
February 4, 2026 at 3:17 PM
I've never been a conspiracy theory guy, but you're never gonna convince me that there hasn't been a specific cabal of ultra-rich dullards trying to buy, strangle, and bring to heel all of the most important reality-shaping machines since the uptick in power labor had during COVID
The Democrats’ belief that they shouldn’t pass legislation without their opponents permission, & that they should rubber stamp their opponent’s nominees, because Bipartisanship™️, has been one of the right’s most effective tools to imposing authoritarian rule
February 4, 2026 at 3:37 PM
The Democrats’ belief that they shouldn’t pass legislation without their opponents permission, & that they should rubber stamp their opponent’s nominees, because Bipartisanship™️, has been one of the right’s most effective tools to imposing authoritarian rule
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
Think about baseball
August 18, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Think about baseball
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
Do you think it might have been a mistake to make the machine where we're supposed to get all our work done the same machine that we use to talk to everyone we've ever met, experience every song and movie ever made, watch porn, play video games, and fight to the figurative death with total strangers
February 4, 2026 at 5:22 AM
Do you think it might have been a mistake to make the machine where we're supposed to get all our work done the same machine that we use to talk to everyone we've ever met, experience every song and movie ever made, watch porn, play video games, and fight to the figurative death with total strangers
It’s an old one and an odd one but Kelly’s Heroes. Mainly because I used to watch it with my dad. He loves Donald Sutherland’s insane tank driver
February 4, 2026 at 3:26 AM
It’s an old one and an odd one but Kelly’s Heroes. Mainly because I used to watch it with my dad. He loves Donald Sutherland’s insane tank driver
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
Imagine being so racist you throw a temper tantrum about a devastatingly beautiful demi-goddess being played by a devastatingly beautiful top tier actress, but you’re fine with Matt Damon playing Odysseus.
February 3, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Imagine being so racist you throw a temper tantrum about a devastatingly beautiful demi-goddess being played by a devastatingly beautiful top tier actress, but you’re fine with Matt Damon playing Odysseus.
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
and i imagine that this is better for cast and crew who get something closer to a regular paycheck and more chances to grow creatively
The Pitt got greenlit for a season 3, out next February, and the announcement has very funny comment from HBO chairman Casey Bloys that’s like “yeah, turns out if you just make a TV show like how we used to make TV shows you can have a 15+ episode season every year 🤷♂️”
February 2, 2026 at 7:24 PM
and i imagine that this is better for cast and crew who get something closer to a regular paycheck and more chances to grow creatively
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
Horrifying. ICE confirms measles outbreak at Dilley family detention center. www.cbsnews.com/news/ice-dil...
ICE halts "all movement" at Texas detention facility due to measles infections
The measles cases at the Dilley Immigration Processing Center were detected Friday, Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin said in a statement to CBS News.
www.cbsnews.com
February 2, 2026 at 4:31 AM
'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
No one:
No one at all:
MLB Hall of Famer George Brett:
No one at all:
MLB Hall of Famer George Brett:
February 2, 2026 at 3:38 PM
No one:
No one at all:
MLB Hall of Famer George Brett:
No one at all:
MLB Hall of Famer George Brett:
Millennials staring down the barrel of yet more “unprecedented” times:
February 2, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Millennials staring down the barrel of yet more “unprecedented” times:
Can’t stop thinking about this section of my local used bookstore. DEFINITELY a section for white collar ladder-climbers
February 2, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Can’t stop thinking about this section of my local used bookstore. DEFINITELY a section for white collar ladder-climbers
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
This is like a dark version of a Seinfeld episode when all the storylines dovetail together.
BREAKING: ICE has halted "all movement" at a Texas detention facility due to measles infections, DHS confirms.
ICE halts "all movement" at Texas detention facility due to measles infections
The measles cases at the Dilley Immigration Processing Center were detected Friday, Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin said in a statement to CBS News.
cbsn.ws
February 2, 2026 at 2:08 AM
This is like a dark version of a Seinfeld episode when all the storylines dovetail together.
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
February 1, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
Me and the wife before watching Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein last night:
February 1, 2026 at 3:20 PM
Me and the wife before watching Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein last night:
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
if i were Neo i would simply take the blue pill and do my best to be a productive and successful member of a perfectly functional economy
February 1, 2026 at 3:01 AM
if i were Neo i would simply take the blue pill and do my best to be a productive and successful member of a perfectly functional economy
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
It's funny how all these billionaires started buying up all the social media apps, newspapers, and television networks right as all these revelations were starting to come out.
Elon Musk had more extensive ties to Epstein than previously known, emails show
Newly released files from DoJ show the pair making plans in 2012 and 2013 for the Tesla CEO to visit Epstein’s island
www.theguardian.com
January 31, 2026 at 9:38 AM
It's funny how all these billionaires started buying up all the social media apps, newspapers, and television networks right as all these revelations were starting to come out.
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
Pizza and schitts creek tonight. Probably
January 30, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Pizza and schitts creek tonight. Probably
Reposted by Bryan Eagle
Live your life in a way that the dictionary pays tribute to you
January 30, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Live your life in a way that the dictionary pays tribute to you
Keep thinking of just this single line from Beetlejuice that itself isn’t inherently funny, but Catherine O’Hara MAKES it funny. It’s 100% her. She was an alchemist who could turn any line into comedy gold. RIP😭
youtu.be/Cuq6m5UoO3o?...
youtu.be/Cuq6m5UoO3o?...
I will go Insane and Take You With Me
YouTube video by Jesus Barrera
youtu.be
January 30, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Keep thinking of just this single line from Beetlejuice that itself isn’t inherently funny, but Catherine O’Hara MAKES it funny. It’s 100% her. She was an alchemist who could turn any line into comedy gold. RIP😭
youtu.be/Cuq6m5UoO3o?...
youtu.be/Cuq6m5UoO3o?...