Zack Calhoon
@visiblesoul.bsky.social
Actor/Writer/Runner
AGENT: Bramante Artists
MANAGEMENT: Maude Kaplan Management
AGENT: Bramante Artists
MANAGEMENT: Maude Kaplan Management
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
This is one of those times when all of the bad news just sucks the air out of your lungs.
December 15, 2025 at 3:31 AM
This is one of those times when all of the bad news just sucks the air out of your lungs.
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Please stop sending highly-skilled assassins to murder me. It's mean and it hurts my feelings
December 14, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Please stop sending highly-skilled assassins to murder me. It's mean and it hurts my feelings
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
I hate when you’re playing Monopoly and you land in jail and you’re having a conjugal visit with your wife and Nana starts crying
December 13, 2025 at 5:02 AM
I hate when you’re playing Monopoly and you land in jail and you’re having a conjugal visit with your wife and Nana starts crying
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
if i knew how to do Spock's neck pinch i would likely only ever use it on myself
December 8, 2025 at 12:34 AM
if i knew how to do Spock's neck pinch i would likely only ever use it on myself
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Glad I saved this by @longwall26.bsky.social
December 7, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Glad I saved this by @longwall26.bsky.social
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
It's one of my all-time favorites-- he posted it here, too:
bsky.app/profile/long...
bsky.app/profile/long...
December 7, 2025 at 7:33 PM
It's one of my all-time favorites-- he posted it here, too:
bsky.app/profile/long...
bsky.app/profile/long...
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
It's called leadership.
The Roman emperor who died from eating too much cheese
Lots of emperors met ignominious ends. And then there was Antoninus Pius.
www.nationalgeographic.com
December 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
It's called leadership.
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
December 5, 2025 at 4:43 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
December 4, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
I cannot tell a lie--this was fun to write. (Please note that it was conceived, written, edited, and closed well before recent events involving the mizzdeedzz of zzertain journalizzts.) www.nytimes.com/2025/11/24/t...
How to Get Revenge
www.nytimes.com
November 24, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I cannot tell a lie--this was fun to write. (Please note that it was conceived, written, edited, and closed well before recent events involving the mizzdeedzz of zzertain journalizzts.) www.nytimes.com/2025/11/24/t...
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust
November 1, 2025 at 12:32 AM
There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
If you ever come upon an ancient tome and the only words on the cover you can decipher are variations of "evil" and "beware," open that bad boy up to any page and start reading whatever text you find aloud. What's the worst that can happen?
October 30, 2025 at 7:06 PM
If you ever come upon an ancient tome and the only words on the cover you can decipher are variations of "evil" and "beware," open that bad boy up to any page and start reading whatever text you find aloud. What's the worst that can happen?
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
The year is 2025. The rarest skill in the world is acting normal for like 15 minutes. For me of course it's effortless
October 29, 2025 at 4:04 AM
The year is 2025. The rarest skill in the world is acting normal for like 15 minutes. For me of course it's effortless
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗
October 29, 2025 at 9:16 PM
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented
October 29, 2025 at 9:10 PM
The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
saw a lady walking in to target, tears on her face, a giant plastic skeleton in each arm. there’s a story there
October 30, 2025 at 2:02 AM
saw a lady walking in to target, tears on her face, a giant plastic skeleton in each arm. there’s a story there
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Ultimately, each one of us must decide for ourselves what is too fast or too furious
October 30, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Ultimately, each one of us must decide for ourselves what is too fast or too furious
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
October 28, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
centrists will tell you to your face that we all need to abandon identity issues, and focus on kitchen table issues instead and yet when a leftist candidate runs a generational campaign based on kitchen table issues, it's the centrists weaponizing identity politics to smear the leftist.
October 28, 2025 at 12:08 AM
centrists will tell you to your face that we all need to abandon identity issues, and focus on kitchen table issues instead and yet when a leftist candidate runs a generational campaign based on kitchen table issues, it's the centrists weaponizing identity politics to smear the leftist.
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
Somewhere along the line, somebody conflated competence with elitism and we’re paying a terrible price for it.
October 23, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Somewhere along the line, somebody conflated competence with elitism and we’re paying a terrible price for it.
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
I truly can’t imagine the person I would be, the art I would’ve made, the choices I might’ve made, the wide-open vistas that might exist in my brain if the constant anxious horror of the last 10 years in America wasn’t just 24/7 squatting its horrible carcass on every cell of it.
October 23, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I truly can’t imagine the person I would be, the art I would’ve made, the choices I might’ve made, the wide-open vistas that might exist in my brain if the constant anxious horror of the last 10 years in America wasn’t just 24/7 squatting its horrible carcass on every cell of it.
Reposted by Zack Calhoon
The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater
October 21, 2025 at 1:51 AM
The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater