Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
@saramonkey.bsky.social
Award-winning writer. Sassypants. GenX. Snarknado. Problematic bitch. Bad dancer. Daydreamer.
A Krimma album I can get behind...if that's how your freak flag flies, that is...
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December 7, 2025 at 10:02 PM
A Krimma album I can get behind...if that's how your freak flag flies, that is...
🖤💚🖤
🖤💚🖤
FINALLY, A DIAGNOSIS! -- *Ralph Wiggum voice* "I'm a primal hunter switch!"
December 7, 2025 at 12:08 AM
FINALLY, A DIAGNOSIS! -- *Ralph Wiggum voice* "I'm a primal hunter switch!"
But srsly turn off the GPS requirement, if anybody wanted to hook up with somebody from home we'd just go to the Dollar General.
*sexy voice* "I can tell you're ugly."
"Just because I'm buying a lot of....heeeey wait a minute!"
"That...and a variety of other context clues..." I yell, fleeing.
*sexy voice* "I can tell you're ugly."
"Just because I'm buying a lot of....heeeey wait a minute!"
"That...and a variety of other context clues..." I yell, fleeing.
December 6, 2025 at 11:15 PM
But srsly turn off the GPS requirement, if anybody wanted to hook up with somebody from home we'd just go to the Dollar General.
*sexy voice* "I can tell you're ugly."
"Just because I'm buying a lot of....heeeey wait a minute!"
"That...and a variety of other context clues..." I yell, fleeing.
*sexy voice* "I can tell you're ugly."
"Just because I'm buying a lot of....heeeey wait a minute!"
"That...and a variety of other context clues..." I yell, fleeing.
EXES AND OH NOES! -- The Beady app has it all: Dollywood security-guards, pirates, cannibals, the self-employed, fishers of men, doughy stoners, doppelgängers, possible relatives, exes...
December 6, 2025 at 11:10 PM
EXES AND OH NOES! -- The Beady app has it all: Dollywood security-guards, pirates, cannibals, the self-employed, fishers of men, doughy stoners, doppelgängers, possible relatives, exes...
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown.
December 3, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown.
Sometimes, you have to lay in a ditch about it.
December 6, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Yeah, but at least my Subway Peace Prize came with a free sub
December 6, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Yeah, but at least my Subway Peace Prize came with a free sub
If I don't want to watch an action flick with you, I also don't need to your superlative reactions and commentary.
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December 6, 2025 at 4:03 PM
If I don't want to watch an action flick with you, I also don't need to your superlative reactions and commentary.
🤫
🤫
Me, deadass serious: "We both need to get physically healthy b/c if you get as sick as your dad is, I'm not I'm strong enough like Peg (emotionally, mentally, or physically) to take care of both of us."
Hubs: "Pop's not sick, he's just old."
He's surly w/Parkinson's, wears diapers, and can't walk.
Hubs: "Pop's not sick, he's just old."
He's surly w/Parkinson's, wears diapers, and can't walk.
December 6, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Me, deadass serious: "We both need to get physically healthy b/c if you get as sick as your dad is, I'm not I'm strong enough like Peg (emotionally, mentally, or physically) to take care of both of us."
Hubs: "Pop's not sick, he's just old."
He's surly w/Parkinson's, wears diapers, and can't walk.
Hubs: "Pop's not sick, he's just old."
He's surly w/Parkinson's, wears diapers, and can't walk.
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
I saw someone call Ai a Thneed and I can't stop thinking about it. It's a PERFECT analogy. The Thneed was an all-purpose tool that didn't do anything really useful. It was a fad that did major damage to the environment to make the Onceler a billionare. It left no real lasting impact, only damage.
October 28, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I saw someone call Ai a Thneed and I can't stop thinking about it. It's a PERFECT analogy. The Thneed was an all-purpose tool that didn't do anything really useful. It was a fad that did major damage to the environment to make the Onceler a billionare. It left no real lasting impact, only damage.
AND JUST LIKE THAT...-- I found my calling as a Romance scam baiter. Deliberately engaging with romance scammers to waste their time and resources.
The goal is to keep scammers occupied so they have less time to victimize real targets.
The goal is to keep scammers occupied so they have less time to victimize real targets.
December 4, 2025 at 5:30 PM
AND JUST LIKE THAT...-- I found my calling as a Romance scam baiter. Deliberately engaging with romance scammers to waste their time and resources.
The goal is to keep scammers occupied so they have less time to victimize real targets.
The goal is to keep scammers occupied so they have less time to victimize real targets.
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys
December 2, 2025 at 8:24 PM
There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys
Flurries on the commute in. Yesterday I believe we had freezing fog.
December 4, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Flurries on the commute in. Yesterday I believe we had freezing fog.
Tomorrow, Thursday, is the doctor's appt for my hand rash (cheap soap, that's $35) and my stomach pain (you're fat, you drink too much, you eat garbage, and did I mention you're fat? That's $35 too.) And the sweating and profound sadness (Bitch, welcome to menopause, another $35).
Stoked.
Stoked.
December 3, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Tomorrow, Thursday, is the doctor's appt for my hand rash (cheap soap, that's $35) and my stomach pain (you're fat, you drink too much, you eat garbage, and did I mention you're fat? That's $35 too.) And the sweating and profound sadness (Bitch, welcome to menopause, another $35).
Stoked.
Stoked.
But remember that the magical truth about Christmas gift shopping is
December 3, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Shazam for my own emotions
December 3, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Shazam for my own emotions
YAY! The potluck I though was Thursday is actually Friday. SWOTS training with the student success gals, potluck, and dirty santa.
December 3, 2025 at 10:00 PM
YAY! The potluck I though was Thursday is actually Friday. SWOTS training with the student success gals, potluck, and dirty santa.
Living the dream....
December 3, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Living the dream....
BOooooo!
The first text message in history was sent 33 years ago today.
It read, “Merry Christmas”
It read, “Merry Christmas”
December 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
BOooooo!
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
Hey baby does the carpet match the ugly Christmas sweater?
December 3, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Hey baby does the carpet match the ugly Christmas sweater?
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
It's National Suspense Month.
Or is it?...
Or is it?...
December 3, 2025 at 4:07 PM
It's National Suspense Month.
Or is it?...
Or is it?...
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
I don't need ai I have a cluster of human brains in a vat of goo hardwired to a usb cable that plugs into my compaq presario
November 30, 2025 at 11:52 PM
I don't need ai I have a cluster of human brains in a vat of goo hardwired to a usb cable that plugs into my compaq presario
Reposted by Santas_Twerkshop🧜🏻♀️🔮🐦⬛
DID MY MIXTAPE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!?
December 2, 2025 at 3:08 PM
DID MY MIXTAPE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!?