I ❤️ Viz

oh god no he hoovered up his own brain

It'll be wild when Charlotte Church reveals she's been pretending to be Welsh this entire time #TheTraitorsUK #CelebrityTraitors

antiwoke guy who wants to change the recycle bin on his computer back to the trash can

We used to be a real country

The mystery of medical diagnosis!

me before and after shelling out to see One Battle After Another in IMAX

Cable Street battle, Jewish London East End #OnThisDay 4 Oct 1936 with banner explicitly adapting antifascist slogan of defence of Madrid "NO PASARÁN." They shall not pass. Remember Olympia refers to 1934 British Union of Fascists meeting where they set on antifascist protesters

Complete waste to have an AI actress who just looks like a regular human. We already have those. She should have a hand growing out of her face or something

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

*forgets to bring phone into the bathroom* i’m off the grid

I’m taking part in a unique auction: you can bid to have lunch with me, and support the FT’s Financial Literacy & Inclusion Campaign... @FT @FT_FLIC ft.com/auction

Me: i’m Autistic

Them: Oh you take things literally

Me: No that’s kleptomania

Sky News says police are "overwhelmed by the numbers". Met coped perfectly well with 2x as many at the pro-Gaza rally, 5x as many at the anti-Brexit march, and 15x as many at London Pride.

They're not overwhelmed by the numbers. They're overwhelmed by the ratio of violent thugs in those numbers.

Cat sitting time

Cleanse, tone, moisturise then @xsmalarkey.com. The only routine that counts.

It's nearly time to light the lights!

i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat

I can

Bunch of people who never had to uproot their entire lives and move thousands of miles away ought to stop pontificating on asylum and immigration

What's the most amount of red flags you can fit in a paragraph?